Monday, December 31, 2007

happenings...

just wanted to share some updated pics from our house.. it is almost done!! you can see all the pics and progress HERE.

I plan to post again tomorrow with a review for 2007 and for my plans for 2008. Catch you in the New Year.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

christmas past and looking forward

its hard to believe its all over. we have one gathering left this weekend but all signs of christmas have been removed from the difran house. it was obviously a bit more stressful and tiring then we had planned for with noah being so sick. we enjoyed time with family and of course were blessed with great gifts. its been one week since our first visit to the hospital and noah is doing so much better. the downside is that ari seems to be coming down with the same thing.. croupy cough and he was up early this morning wheezy. its so frustrating to see this cycle and to feel like there is no break. everything just seems to be piling up and sitting very heavy on my shoulders.
from sick kids to all that needs to get done with moving. we finished painting the doors yesterday and the trim and baseboards and doors are going in as i type. a couple rooms are done and it looks amazing. better than i even imagined. i just can't wait till it is all done. packing on this end also is looming and seems an impossible task these days. i find myself looking forward and thinking of all the stress to come. why do i do that to myself... as if today doesn't hold enough i always seem to be waiting for the next thing and worrying about that. this is something i am thinking of as i look to the new year. i have been thinking of this alot this week and want to come up with my one little word for 2008. what is it i want for myself.. to discover, to live with, to embrace and to give meaning.... more to come.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

beat

thats how i feel. totally beat. i wanted to express my thankfulness at all your thoughtful and encouraging comments on my last post. so much to say since then.. we did end up back at the hospital two more times.. saturday evening for 4 hours and then christmas eve we were admitted under observation for another 24. thankfully noah was home christmas morning and seems to be doing better.. still not 100% but we are hopeful he is on the mend. i am just to tired and worn out to say much more. i will update you all again soon on the rest of the story. again i'm reminded why i blog and why you all mean so much. good night!

Saturday, December 22, 2007

passing judgement and my night in the ER

i think i may have said this before but i have never felt such guilt and judgement upon me since becoming a mother... its like this sick little world of who is doing it better, longer, smarter, cuter and on and on. there are so many expectations that we feel we have to live up to. just to break it down i think its bulls***. i am remembering the phrase we all do our best with what we have and what we have is our kids best intrests at heart. we strive to do the right thing for them not for the kid in our playgroup whose mom we think could do better. we do it for OUR kids.

i know i do. i know i prayerfully and thoughtfully make each parenting decision to the best of my ability and i make the decision we (dave and i) think is best for our family. not yours or anyone else's. this brings me to my night at the ER last night where not only was i judged and told i was uneducated but i was also not treated fairly and therefore not sure my sick son was receiving the best care all because someone judged me without knowing me. we get enough of that everywhere else and to get it where you go for help from someone who should be there to care for others it really hurt my feelings and just feels terrible.

to clarify here my choices as a parent in this regards are not up for debate you may not judge me either or impress your opinion upon my choices. i am a parent who has made the decision thus far not to vaccinate my children. i am well educated and have done alot of research. as a family we have decided this is best for US and our family right now. we have also only said we would wait to further decide till the boys are two and then IF we decide to that will also be a choice we make with lots of research and again a choice which will be best for US.

yesterday noah was wheezy seemingly a slight cold. as the evening progressed it turned into full on croup.. worse than he has had it before. i had several conversations with dave on the phone (i was at work) and i could hear how bad it had gotten. around 9:30 dave called and said i needed to come home and take him in.. you could clearly hear he was having problems catching a breathe. i took him to the ER and was seen right away by a nurse. his barking cough was clear and she called in a doctor. he seemed fairly nice when he came in.. asked me some routine questions and then asked if there vaccinations were up to date. i said we have so far chosen not to vaccinate at this time. he looked up at me and rolled his eyes.. went on to tell me that they should be vaccinated as there are many illness's that will kill them if i don't. i stated i was well educated and had done my research and we felt this was best for us right now. he then looked at me and said that i was obviously not educated because if i was then i would have given them the proper vaccines that would protect them against death and because i hadn't i was stupid. yep stupid. face red and also trying to deal with a very tired 27lb toddler crying in my arms i was stunned. i understand its his job to tell me the facts and i would have taken them and said thank you but to call me stupid was hurtful and went way past professional... it was a downward spiral from there as he was rude to me, short and did not give me much information from then on. one word answers and quick to dismiss me.. he even left the room shaking his head. i felt judged and felt condemned.. this man doesn't know me he has no idea who i am. i had a few minutes where guilt came down and i cried looking down at the little boy who was in so much pain and after the anger passed mustered up the energy to make sure noah knew that i loved him and would never intentionally cause him harm. i am his mother.. i know him... i love him.. i kiss his tears away, i hold him at all hours of the day, i pick him up when he falls down, i give him his favorite snacks and know just where he likes to sit when he drinks milk in the morning, i know that the backyardigans makes him dance, i know he loves to look out the window at the bus when it comes by yelling bus bus bus until you say yes noah theres the bus whoohoo, i know that when i sing how big is noah that he will throw his arms up in the air, i do my best for him isn't everything we do about them?

just remember who you are and the gift that you are given.. remember that you do the best for your family and no one else matters. at the end of the day its what we do with what have that counts. i make mistakes we all do... its what we do with those mistakes and how we learn that is the beauty of the process. the last 24 hours i have consumed myself with making sure my kids get better.. every thought i have is for them.
Merry Christmas .. may you celebrate all you have and celebrate who you are this season. give to the fullest...
From our house to yours wherever your life voyage takes you.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

powerful

if you have a chance please watch this video.. its a 14min video from the memorial service held last week for the two who died in the horrific ywam denver shooting. its powerful and moving and speaks volumes as to how we move on....
http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1d7b72dd07106bf78a07

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

it looks like this...

the paint is done!!!!! i will post actual room pics later this week...

Monday, December 17, 2007

not neglecting..

just spending most of our time at the house.. painting trim.. lots of trim. new pics and new stories to come in the next couple of days.. keep warm.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

and my heart sings...

after what has been an emotionally exhausting couple of days there was joy to be found if only you could look for it in the simple things....

1. helping in the kitchen... you know taking all my stuff out of cupboards, throwing cheerios on the floor. me just allowing it all to happen and taking the joy in seeing them smile.

2. Helping with housework.. never have two little boys loved to sweep as much as these too. pure, simple joy!
3. Lending a hand to help build our new house... the boys loved getting their first sneak peak at our new digs.. better yet was helping daddy and grandpa with some wiring.
4. An inspirational, life changing movie that rocked my core. So simple and stunning... beautiful. go see it!

5. Mornings... lately i have loved spending mornings with these two goofballs. They can't wait to jump on the couch with some milk and a good episode of our favorite show The Backyardigans.
6. And last but not least.. the ecstatic joy that pulsed through my veins when I opened up the mailbox and found THIS!!!!

Sunday, December 09, 2007

shooting at ywam denver - UPDATED

Just heard this and am devastated and emotionally am unsure of how something like this happens. Hits close to home. for those who didn't know i was a staff member of YWAM for the last 8 years Read this article for the whole story. YWAM Staff killed in Denver. With a heavy heart I bring you the latest news regarding the shooter, his connection and his deadly rampage ending in Colorado Springs (where I was a member of ywam staff for a brief time) My heart goes out to all those involved. The article is HERE.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

santa will you..

please, please bring me a new coffee maker.. mine is broken down. after three and a half years she just doesn't make good coffee anymore... please?
signed seriously addicted to GOOD coffee

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

everyday stuff

its officially winter here.. and is it ever cold. today it is snowing like crazy. last week i attempted to take the boys out to play in the snow for their first time. yea never doing that alone again. i didn't get any pictures because it was all so stressful i just forgot. they couldn't move and hated it. picture A Christmas Story where Ralphie's little brother is lying in the snow and can't move. yep that was what it looked like over here.
Spent Saturday at Super Scrap Day with the girls from My Scrap Shoppe. Such a great time. I got 7 layouts and a mini book done. It was nice to scrapbook for myself since I have been mostly creating for other people. I have uploaded all my layouts to my Picasa web album which you can check out HERE. I have also made a separate folder for Custom work I have done which you can find HERE.
Heres a sampling of some of my recent creations:
The house is moving along. Taping and Mudding will happen starting tomorow and we have hired some painters as well.. yesterday dave and i picked out all our light fixtures in the city whew that was quite the job. I am going to be happy when its just all done and we can move in.
I am still wavering on paint colors.. really having a hard time with a bathroom color.. any suggestions?

Thursday, November 29, 2007

its getting closer..

insert jaws theme song here. daily our new house goes under big changes. already these pics are out of date and they were taken last week. the inside is drywalled and we should have hydro by today, all the windows and doors are in and i have finally finished picking pretty much everything that will go inside other than paint colours.. oh benjamin moore why do you do this to me... i have been uploading recent pics HERE. go see them its exciting.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

better late than never..


i feel as though life gets away from me sometimes.. heres to Ari & Noah who celebrated 18 months last week... somedays if i allow myself to look back it seems it happened so fast... i still feel a bit in the stage where looking back isn't as healthy as it could be but I am learning to celebrate how far we have come and how good my little guys really are. I am blessed and happy that they are mine and I can celebrate them and all they are each day.
They had their checkups yesterday and she was happy with them and where they are at. They have skyrocketed in percentiles since there last visit. Noah weighs 27.8lbs and Ari is sitting at 26.1lbs remembering that his diarrhea has been much worse. Noah went into the 70th percentile from the 20th and Ari into the 60th. They are both 77cm. She was happy with there development although there speech is a bit behind but its likely because they are twins. They definitely communicate with each other and understand commands. They are super good with signs and I just need to be really intentional about speaking out all things I am doing with them. I am working really hard not to compare them to other kids and wonder whats wrong.. all things are good.
So to my sweeties.. Ari may you continue to search high and low for excellence. May you pursue things whole heartedly not looking back. I hope you learn gentleness especially towards your brother and may you take his rubbing your back as a sign of love not loathing.... I love you and your enthusiasm for life. Noah may you always remain soft and aware of all that goes on around you. I encourage the gentle spirit you have and hope that it stays tender. I love cuddling with you and speaking from experience I know that someday your future wife will too... I know sometimes you must feel picked on by your brother but I am proud that you continue to display your love for others by being sweet.
I love you both and am definitely blessed with a double portion. My hope is that I would continue to nurture and encourage the things that cause you to thrive. May you never feel in the others shadow but always feel you are unique and special because you are you!

Friday, November 23, 2007

its beginning to look alot like christmas

i'm into the season this year!! last year was too crazy and i feel i didn't really get to experience it all. this year although my decorations are minimal.. due to the age and grabiness of my twins and also the fact that packing and moving is inching closer and closer. i am in love with the sparkle around my house. i have been a busy bee crafting alot lately. i am trying to make handmade gifts this year. its an interesting thing to embark on because the amount of time and energy that goes into it can be scary... will the receiver really appreciate a handmade gift? or would it be better to go to dollarama. but i am enjoying the process.. here is a glimpse around my house for the holidays. i made the button trees inspired by Ali
also if you have not yet purchased Sarah Maclachlan's Wintersong... run don't walk to the store right now and pick it up...

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

the makings of a good evening...

sarah mclachlan's wintersong playing in the background
christmas lights sparkling on my kitchen hutch
sitting down at the table working on a craft project
my husband sitting beside me studying
drinking coke slurpees
a good evening

Thursday, November 15, 2007

stink and other stuff...

this week has been good, bad, up, down and eventful. it was nice for dave to have monday off and we got a lot accomplished. he went to help the guys at the house which was so good for him. he talked about how good it was for him the rest of the day... he's like that its good for his soul to do stuff with his hands... speaking of the house went there yesterday and they have all the walls up, the house is shingled. its crazy to see the interior walls up and really see what each room will look like. i love it!
the boys have been teething something fierce. its painful to watch. they have bad diarrhea which is gross and really getting on my nerves. i have changed Noah four times since 1am and its only 9:30. i have finally given in to pedialyte to make sure they don't get dehydrated.
i have no vehicle today so it will be a lay low kind of day which i think they might like. we have been busy pretty much every morning this week. all good stuff mind you but its nice to have time to just sit around in sweats and play!!
tuesday was eventful and i was unsure if i wanted to share or not but here goes anyways... around 4:45 ari had an "episode" really not sure what it was or even how it started. it lasted about 20 minutes and when dave got him we took him to the Urgent Care Clinic where they referred to us to Emergency to check if he had some kind of mild seizure. After seeing the worlds worst doctor I am pretty sure it wasn't a seizure but maybe something that was affecting his stomach and he was unable to handle or deal with the pain. it was scary. i have realized something that has in a way liberated me and my motherhood. it was one of the first times that i clearly understood my place in his life. i knew that something was wrong. i could see it all over his face and his body language... i knew inside that there was something not right. and thankfully he seems fine and is back to normal (other than massive amounts of poop - which did i mention is getting really irritating)
in other news we are about to enter unchartered territory in the mess we began when we separated our kids to "teach" they to sleep better.. Ari loves his playpen.. he sleep there for naps and for night situated right next to the washing machine in our laundry room.. well tonight he will be placed in his crib in the same room as Noah in the hopes that they will readjust to being back together again... part of me feels like we are going to be sorry. But the laundry room is not working anymore and although we did build our new house with three rooms upstairs we would really like them to share a room for as long as they will have it. anyone have any experience with the adjustment of going into sharing a room?? positive thoughts sent our way for the next couple nights greatly appreciated.
and last but not least i want to wish Marcy a happy birthday today! thanks for the inspiration and friendship you have granted me this past year. it all makes me happy.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

seriously

dirty diaper count today
ari 4 noah 6
are you kidding me crap?

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

progress

oooh it looks like a house... yep they have been cruising the last couple weeks. this morning when i drove by the shingles were going up. anyways here are some more pictures. i get so excited whenever i visit the house. still hard to believe that it will be our new home.
in order from left to right...
pic 1: taken friday afternoon from the front
pic 2: taken friday afternoon from the street (street sign is up and the bay is paved)
oops pic 3: should actually be the last pic taken monday afternoon.
pic 4: garage on friday afternoon
pic 5: the view from the landing to my kitchen/dining room
pic 6: the front of the house on friday afternoon.
(click on collage to see bigger pics)

Sunday, November 11, 2007

my faveorite thing right now..

loving Etsy.com these days. i seriously could search forever and it makes me happy to see all those handmade beautiful products. for those of you who are unaware of what Etsy is... let me introduce you. its a site where you can buy and sell things that are handmade. from cards, to jewelery, art, all things for baby. its a great site and whats better than supporting artists with incredible talent. i always imagine all the moms who are making beautiful blankets and bibs. the talented women making beautiful jewelery out of gorgeous beads. so in my tribute to this wonderful site i will leave you with my current favorites. as my wish list grows i will bring you more...
Holly - she is a vinyl art design genius. i am ordering her cute little monkey for the boys new room.
Vaeda - love the beautiful prints this photographer creates. the prints come in a few sizes. i am especially in love with this Speculative fine art photograph.
Moreygirl - She makes beautiful baby gifts.. blankets, burp cloths, bibs and the CUTEST pacifier strings ever. I am hoping to order her Turtle and Alphabet Pacifier clips soon.
Red Star Studio - of course for all things paper crafting theres my good friend Marcy with the cutest felt journals ever.
Jacqueline Knits - oh my she does the cutest thing.. she knits little jackets for apples and pears. seriously so adorable. she also knits coffee cup sleeves, scarves and a few other goodies.
So there you have it my current faves. Please do go check out Etsy and I am sure you will find something you love. Let me know if you do!!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

even Dave gets tagged..

Emily tagged Dave.....
Here are the rules: You must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. (If you don't have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.) When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post and then choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

A - Affirmation. Dave is a master at this. Especially with me. I was first drawn to him partly because of this. He has this special way of knowing the right words to say. Redeeming words I always say. No matter how I feel he is always ready with words of affirmation

A - Artistic - Dave is wired to use his right brain. He is artistic, creative and more spontaneous. He enjoys working with his hands. Not many of you will know he is a terrific artist. Putting beautiful images to canvas.

R - Risk Taker. One of Daves favorite sayings are "blaze your own trail" He is willing to take risks and not afraid of breaking any mold. I admire that about him although I probably usually criticize him for it only because I am NOT like that. I can appreciate it and realize my need to be more of a risk taker. Not afraid of what anyone thinks.

O - Odd. No Dave is not Odd but he enjoys Odd foods. He will be the first to try anything and really like it.. Octopus, Tongue and His favorite Dog. Ugg

N - Nothing. The master of doing nothing and enjoying himself. It amazes me how he can just do nothing for long periods of time. He is so laid back... people used to have him teach other people how to chill out. One of my first memories of him is getting me to sit down for just two minutes and do nothing (in a really busy time) drove me nuts. But secretly (don't tell him) i wish i was more like him and could just sit and do nothing more.

Monday, November 05, 2007

a little tweaking..

what do you think.. my personal blog tweaker is busy at it again. thanks for all your comments on my last post by the way. i think the photos are amazing too.

Friday, November 02, 2007

difrancescos fall 2007

had a photo shoot with a friend. she took really great pictures that captured the fun we are having as a family. its funny to look at them now though as they boys look soooo different with their haircuts. i had a hard time picking my faves but you can view them all online HERE.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

making progress...

so i am a little afraid that my "break" which really lasted a week people has left me with less blog readers than before... no comments on my post from yesterday. hopefully you are still reading. went past our new house yesterday which is really starting to look like a house... they finished the floor and the outside walls are up. they poured cement for the garage pad. its crazy... here are some pics... the first one is from last week and the next two are from yesterday. close up pics coming soon.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Saying Goodbye to Bisnonna

its been a whirlwind couple of days. at 12:30pm on Saturday Dave's Grandma took her last breath. her death didn't come as a complete shock.. she had been suffering for awhile now. we spent an hour or so weighing all our options.. does dave go alone, do we go without kids, does he take one, or do we all go.. we made the decision after checking on flights (which we got an amazing deal on) that we would all go. dave really wanted us all to go. so we left here early sunday morning with a trip to winnipeg where we valet parked our van loaded ALL our stuff.. we are talking two car seats, playepen, strollers, suitcases and of course the babies... and boarded the plane to Hamilton. it went really well.. i was shocked and amazed at how well they were on the plane. sunday was tough on the boys as naps were pretty much non existant and they had been up early. they were overwhelmed with many new people and didn't take well to that. by the time we got them to bed that night it was 8:30 and wouldn't you believe it they slept ALL night and were up at 8:30 the next day. what wonderful sleep!!
monday was a good day... yummy breakfast, good time spent with family, a little shopping trip with lydia and julia to the mall where i found the boys black shirts (finally - thanks h&m). One of the highlights for me was getting to go to our absolute faveorite restaurant ever Sappuro's Japenese All you can eat sushi extravaganza... oh my!!! i can't even begin to tell you the sensory overload i enjoy there. and what better than to be surrounded by family and our good friends Morgan and Martha (who are basically family). Thanks to Grandma and Grandpa for watching the boys!
Yesterday was the funeral and although it was difficult for me to concentrate with chasing the boys around in the back it was a lovely service. The boys did well (as everyone told me). I had a difficult time when we got to the graveyard for Grandmas buriel. I had a hard time with the boys who were getting a bit out of hand.. I missed the entire thing while chasing Ari and watching Noah face plant down some pavement (while i thought dave was watching him and he thought i was watching him) As I scooped up my little guy and dug rocks out of his mouth i was overwhelmed with sadness of the idea of buriel and all that meant. I know she wasn't my grandma but still the effect of her life touches mine and I never really got to say goodbye.
The flight home was good as well... a bit tough as the boys were tired but I was happy those around us were still in love with the boys when we landed exclaiming how cute they were and how good they had been. Highlight of the trip home was when we got to the airport and we were standing in line waiting to pay for parking and some random stranger gave my 17 month old a sucker and even went so far as to unwrap it and give him his first taste of the sweetest thing since breast milk. thanks mister.
We got lots of great photos and for those in Ontario who would like to see them or anyone else for that matter here is a sneak peek.


I uploaded them all to a Picasa Web Album and you can view them all HERE.
Next post will be an update on our house which is going up so fast.
Oh and by the way Its good to be back.

overload..

have patience with me this week.. so much to share. our life voyage will be on post overload.. have patience and stay tuned...

Thursday, October 25, 2007

its working

its working.. this has been a great week. hang in there. i'm coming back better than ever... soon.

Monday, October 22, 2007

the end and the beginning

honestly i hate it when people say they are taking a break from blogging... now hate is a pretty strong word you might be thinking.. but it proves my point. i am hating pretty much everything these days. i am doing damage to myself and especially those closest to me. i am tired of having nothing good to blog about because i can't seem to find much good in anything these days. i am going on a journey and exploration to find me again... need to find me before i move on... need a bit of truth to carry out each day. so i'm taking a little break.. not from you (i'll be reading) but just needing to remember how much good there is in my life and remember joy again. it won't be a long break... if i have something to blog about i will... i just need to learn how to communicate with the here and now instead of hide behind my keyboard. wish me peace, light, wisdom and joy on my journey.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

going deeper feeling shallow

i remember when i had my birthday last month.. i was full of aspirations for this next year. i really want to be a truth teller... to myself. i feel most of the reasons i am flailing around is because i am so good at telling myself lies. so good at conjuring up stories and blowing them out of proportion.
the other night i was trying to quiet my mind and be able to hear clearly.. there was nothing i could do to stop thoughts from coming and just distracting me from trying to be quiet. seems my to do lists are always a mile long.. they usually never get done which leaves me guilty and hard on myself. its getting old. part of my just wants to give up.. maybe thats the answer.
yesterday someone reminded me of how people see me.. usually the words that follow are joyful, bright smile, lights up a room, happy, bubbly... uggg. don't get me wrong yes i love that and i know thats part of me.. but when will the inside line up again. i do remember what that felt like to purely feel like that even though it was so long ago i do remember. i do have glimpses of that girl.
i'm wanting more vulnerability in my life. freedom to be who i am... more opportunities to just get down and dirty and really get rid of the crap deep in my heart. i attend a group of women that meets every other Wednesday. been life to me since we started meeting last year. its a good place.. a safe place but yet yesterday i felt like i couldn't share.. i always share and i felt so insecure that people were sick of hearing about my crap. we have started to attend a care group from our church this year as well... its good.. but yet such a range of people its hard to get close and deep. we need like a life group of people our own age who really feel like going deeper is the only way anyone will walk in freedom. why is this so hard to achieve?
ok seriously i have jumped around and rambled long enough.. i am going to get up and go spend some time with my kids now. just let this settle and come back and read it again later.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Monday, October 15, 2007

pinching pennies...

I think I talked about this once before. My lack of faith in regards to being taken care of.. financially speaking. In the life we had before this one :) we were in full time ministry and we raised all our own support which was challenging at best. But for some reason I always knew it would just work out just faith that was anchored deep down. I had seen it happen in the craziest ways.. last minute miracles.
My faith is just not the same as it used to be. I guess maybe too many wind storms have begun to pull up my anchor and my faith is swept away... Dave started school today.. 9 weeks. He is an apprentice in his trade which means every year he goes to school. He was excited for the change and I think feeling like new confidence would come with some schooling under his belt. I know this was always in the plan but today I woke up panicked... we spent the weekend talking about things we would have to do differently in these next 9 weeks... He goes on unemployment so he only gets a percentage of what he made... unemployment takes up to 5 weeks to get....
I vowed to not spend a penny on scrapbooking (with the exception of the November kit), not as many Tim's runs, eating out is out of the question... just the bare necessities. Why is this so hard to live with less? Its clear to me the timing of everything is obviously bigger than us... so today i will be reminded that I have all I need... my kids have all they need in us (and a few cases of diapers). Thanks for letting me share. Just needed to get it off my chest.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

vicious cycle

2 boxes of kleenex in two days. snot everywhere. mass amounts of water consumed. back on herbs. poor babies. poor mommy.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

7 burning questions...

Got tagged over at Adventures In Babywearing to do the 7 burning questions meme:

1. If you could have an endless supply of any food, what would it be and why?
That’s tough. I love food.. I would pick sushi.. Not the extreme varieties but veggie sushi and LOTS of it. Although I love Japanese food anything Mexican would be a close second. Oh and coffee.. can I have coffee?

2. If you were an animal what would you be and why?
I really don’t like animals.. Any of them. So thankful I am not an animal. But if I were I guess I would be a puppy.. cuddly, loyal and most people like them.

3. If you could only describe yourself using three words, what three words would you use?
friendly, honest & loyal

4. If you could be a super hero who would you be and why?
I guess I would like to be Superman because of his strong belief in justice and humanitarian service. But I would also like to be invisible…

5. What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you?
My “sick” episode in Los Angeles.. I am not even going to go there.

6. What is one of your biggest pet peeves and why?
Being Hot. I just hate being hot. When people cut through parking lots.. that’s why there are lines people!!!! Being late - me or anyone else. It drives me nuts.

7. Out of red, green, blue, yellow and orange which one is your favorite color?
Green

If you chose red what is one of your favorite hobbies?
If you chose green what is your favorite place?
If you chose blue what is one favorite memory?
If you chose yellow what is your dream job?
If you chose orange it’s a wildcard and you can tell us anything about yourself!

My favorite place...
My Scrap Shoppe is probably my fave place right now. Not only the way it brings out creativity in me by the eye candy.. But the people I associate it with and the way it really is a bright spot in my week.

-Alright- the first three people to comment here are TAGGED! I'll be checking on you, too!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

7 Duster Bay

its official! we came from the lawyers and kicked the dirt on our new lot! digging starts thursday and before we know it we will move in to our new house at 7 Duster Bay. Here are some pics of the lot and our new bay as they are now. we'll keep you posted on the progress.the first pic: see the road.. thats our bay. the second pic: looking at our bay from the West. the third existing house you see will be our back door neighbors..

today on oprah..

If you still have a chance I encourage you to watch Oprah today. I was drawn to the premise of the show "Wombs for Rent" Lisa Ling investigates Indian Women who are being surrogates for women all over the world who are desperate to have children. It was heart warming and interesting to hear the story of a couple who have gone through the process and are now awaiting the birth of their first child in India... I am not usually one to go to Oprah's message boards but was drawn there this afternoon to see what other people were saying. It is interesting to me to see the divide and also the hostile opinions people have on this subject. I've come across this before in the blogging world and maybe its just the anonymity of the internet that makes people so brash.
One woman went so far to say that women who "sell their bodies" to surrogacy are just like prostitutes... some people will say these women in India are being used, and exploited but why do we always have to go to such extremes to defend our own opinions. I saw this story as a beautiful way this american woman and this indian woman were helping each other achieve the dreams they never thought possible. I saw the smile the woman in India had as she showed us her new house that actually had walls and protection from the harsh elements.. the pride as she talked about sending her children to receive education they never though possible. And although I do not know the sorrow that must be unbearable for a woman who cannot conceive her own child you saw the relief and excitement in the american couple when they were told "congratulations your going to have a baby!"
Yesterday Dave and I watched a new show on Discovery Health called "Jon & Kate plus eight" Jon & Kate have 5 year old twins and 2 year old Sextuplets. At times its hard for me to watch only because I find twins difficult and I cannot imagine having more.. she is my hero! Its their beautiful family. When the doctor showed them the six heads in their first ultrasound he was quick to tell them they could discuss reduction. Jon & Kate told him absolutely not. Did they think this would be easy? NO! But they were ready to become parents and this was their path.
We each have our own ways we choose to live on this earth.. to help, to not help, to judge, to not judge, to make peace or war. What we do and say can have an affect on people we do not know. I want to choose to celebrate the joy in life. So heres to Jennifer & Kendell and their baby in India, to the women of India who just long for a better life for their children and to Jon & Kate. I am in awe and inspired by all your journeys to become life givers.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

living

by being creative.. here are some layouts i have worked on in the past little while. this weekend i got a two done that i love... walking out what is inspiring fills me up. (you can see more of my stuff by clicking on my Scrapbooking Gallery on the top tabs)

Friday, October 05, 2007

Jester tags Noah & Ari

Jester tagged Noah and Ari and they are happy to oblige but realized that there couldn’t possibly be enough E’s in our name. Thanks Mom and Dad.

Here are the rules: You must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. (If you don't have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.) When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post and then choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

Ari
J......Jumpy the frog. I love my stuffy Jumpy. We have a sleepover every night. He is soft and cuddly just like me.
E.....Eat. I love to eat.
R.....Routine... Maybe I got this from my mom. But I do best with some kind of routine. hopefully I will be able to adapt to spontaneity as I get older but for now please don’t ruin my routine.
E.....Everything. See above E.
M.....Moves. I have moves like you have never seen. Music comes on and I am grooving.
I.....Independent. I dig just running off to find something to get into. My brother tends to stick close to mom but me I enjoy my own independence.
A.....Adventurous. I love to discover new things. Not a lot fear here.
H - Hate waiting. Oh man this ones gets me. I hate to wait especially when it comes to food.

Noah
E - Eat.. Ok I stole one from my brother but really its what makes us the same. I love food. All food. Can’t get enough food ever
M - Mom. I am not afraid to admit I love my mom. In fact I am so in love I hate when she leaves me ever.
E - Energy. Its one of the things my mom loves most about me. Endless Energy.
R - Run. One of my new favorite things to do. Run up and down the hallway.. Shaking my booty.
Y - Yes I am a twin but as alike as we look we are different kids. So I’m coming up with a new word and calling myself Younique.

We tag Jonas, Eleanor & Sophia.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

aware of the journey

my personal journey lately has been muddy. its been the last year really where there has just been something missing. i felt it in a great wave on my birthday this year. not sure what my expectation was but i felt disappointed in almost every way. I was blessed by so many but the void of some important people who just forgot somehow crept in and took over. I want to be full instead I seem to entertain the empty parts and they hurt.
I told you all about my personal life coach with Kim McMechan which has been valuable each day. She brought to light many things I could just not articulate. I have also been on an exploration with a book she recommended called The Joy Diet. It has been life changing as well... When I say life changing I mean it will be right? I have a hard time with follow through these days. Always just feel so overwhelmed and I begin to tell myself the sad story of "Why bother?" When we went through our prenatal classes from Birthing From Within I was introduced to this concept of the stories we run through our heads that bring in fear, insecurity and just false thoughts. We get so worked up that we begin to believe them as true. The Joy Diet explores this too in the chapter entitled Truth. What are the painful stories I tell myself and how can I be sure they are truthful? Is my painful story working? Meaning is it helping me feel peaceful, balanced and able to face life's difficulties by growing and changing? yea usually not. Martha Beck reminds me to ask if there is another story that might work better. Reversing the lie. Its been great for me. There are many menu items (behaviors) to work through and I am only on the second which is truth but I am encouraged that I am able to sit down and really begin to pull back the layers of hardness I have seemed to inherit this past year.
From my session with Kim I have begun to understand a bit more of how I am made.. how at the end of the day my empty feeling is the result of not siphoning my creative energy in a positive way. I am aware of how I turn to the tv to turn off my mind and it leaves me empty. I have begun to really sit with projects and let my creative energy burn off in a positive way. My new mantra is "Little adjustments make way for huge miracles"
So as I enter my 28th year I am working towards being aware of my journey. I spent a good chunk of time on Sunday making some goals and removing expectations from myself. I have been mourning so much lately. Lost friends, Lack of Joy and peace in my life, a less than passionate relationship with my husband, the desire and disappointment of vulnerability and authenticity.
I reconnected with an old and dear friend the other day and it felt so good. I was reminded of a happier time and reminded that those times are not lost. They are richer now as I begin to just be more aware of the journey.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

the ultimate shopping experience

now i know i have blogged before about the semi annual multiple sale.. the fall sale was today and dave and i had an excellent time. there is just something about the anticipation of it all, the craziness that you expect will ensue. the rush of being their first and the ease on the pocket book as you walk away with LOTS for so little. today was no different.... and this time we have pictures to prove it. we got lots of great stuff.. toys, books and some warmer clothes for the boys. We stood in line in front of new members who had never been and I couldn't help but chuckle as I remembered my first time. Overwhelmed, Intimidated. Poor thing hadn't come with anything to put stuff in. I tried to give her some tips for next time. There isn't really a way to describe it unless you experience it yourself but hopefully these pictures will help. the first two are taken before the crowd is let in and the last one is taken after we left and the public had been let in...After our retail therapy we went to have lunch at a new fave of mine Joey's (after all it is MY birthday weekend) Only because they serve the most delicious thing that makes my heart ache for Vancouver... California Sushi Tacos.. Yea seriously. Winnipeg lacks in the Sushi department.. not enough and very pricey.


Thanks Dave for a special pre birthday date.. Can't wait to see what tomorow brings.

Friday, September 28, 2007

post overload

whoa another post i know i know... make sure to read yesterdays post for all things Ari & Noah.
this is just a shout out to my fabulous sister-in-laws for their more than thoughtful birthday presents this week. Julia & Evelyn were bang on with my love for Mexican food and got me a Mexican cookbook and cute dish. Lydia went above and beyond to be not only thoughtful but super observant. she spotted My Scrap Shoppe as one of my favorite things and all the way from Ottawa bought me the new October kit. Really thanks guys! I am blessed by your generosity and the way you know what I love.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

16 months

life with twins at 16 months is just like a roller coaster. you are just riding along and you slowly climb, climb, climb there is an expectation of whats ahead and then you reach the top and sit there for a second or two and then whoosh you plummet fast which lasts for a little while and then again you are just riding along waiting for the next high... a cycle.
i am amazed daily at the new things they learn and how they are learning to love each other. they interact with each other in a special way i guess the way only twins know how to do. they have their own language (and i am sure talk behind my back all day long) when they wake up from naps they seem to call out to each other and just know what to say. they love to wrestle and they run at each other and love to tackle each other and then the giggles really ensue. right now they are sitting across from each other hitting each other with t shirts and laughing hysterically. good times.
other than the vast vocabulary only they can understand they are beginning to make sounds that usually resemble some kind of word. hi, soos (soother), up, trude (the creepy doll at the bottom of our stairs whose name is trudy), dad, mom, gra (grandma) and dirt.
they have not learned any new signs lately but use the ones they know they are expert on: eat, more, milk, bye, please, thank you and kisses.
they have mastered their walking skills and their new found independence is a relief to watch. before they were walking people would always ask me what will you do when they can walk? yikes that will be busy. you know its actually better.. they love being able to walk around. it makes them happier. so that makes me happier and plus i don't have to carry them everywhere anymore. they can climb upstairs but have not really gotten the turn around to go down thing yet.
Ari is adventurous and not afraid (usually) to try new things. Although in a stage where it takes him awhile to warm up to people he usually ventures out first. Noah is sensitive and it takes him longer to venture out (not too far usually).
I remain amazed daily at these two little boys and the love they give. In the midst of daily struggles I am thankful for these gifts in my lives. A perfect blend of Dave and I. As I celebrate another birthday this weekend I am reflective and realize the richness of my doubly full life.

Monday, September 24, 2007

the view from here today

other than this just more of the same... cleaning, cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning. we are finally show ready! bring on the people!
been dreaming of all the yummy deserts i ate last night at my loewen gathering. lisa made a giant cream puff - yea seriously a giant cream puff in a big pan. crystal made this chocolate cookie pizza thing with cream cheese, strawberries.. seriously. and susane made a saskatoon (did i say saskatoons are my faveorite berry) cheesecake!! so not good for my already large belly but yet so good!
going to the bank tomorow to finalize things for our new house. we have the lot and are just waiting... all very exciting!
figured it was time for a noah and ari update so look for that this week.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

this girl

is so much fun
is my favorite shopping partner
loves black too
understand the whole coffee thing
is willing to attend "mysterious" events with me
always gets me a thoughtful birthday gift
is easy to talk to
always looks great
always makes me feel great
i love this girl

Friday, September 21, 2007

for sale

our house!! its official. now we just need a quick sale....

Thursday, September 20, 2007

a couple giveaways...

two great giveaways to share about. Stacey is graciously giving away a super cute Amy May Nursing Bracelet. I love this idea!! Not sure how it would have worked with twins (i guess i would have needed two) but i do know that having something like this would be amazing! it makes so much sense while being stylish too. Thanks Stacey and Amy May. Go check out Amy May's Etsy Store she has beautiful Mei Tai's and gorgeous Burp cloth sets.
Drea is also giving away a Gauze Wrap from Hug A Bug Baby They carry affordable Wraps and Mei Tais. This Gauze wrap looks great as its breathable with the ease of a wrap. Great giveways guys.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

pit in stomach..

hoping you didn't miss Yesterdays Oprah.. Jenny Mcarthy and Holly Robinson Peete were on and shared their experiences of having sons with autism. this show had made an impact on me and thankfully i have it on tape... just a few moments of that pit in your stomach that seems to be much more real now that i am a mom. the way Jenny spoke of her son's seizures and his sudden vacancy in his eyes. really powerful. of course vaccines were called out and I was so glad Jenny shared how she felt about the whole thing. Steph over at Adventures in Babywearing has some powerful resources regarding the whole thing. With personal experience I find she writes honestly from the heart and in doing so brings non judgmental information. Thanks Steph!
As a non vaccinating mommy (in a place where this is almost unheard of) you fight that inner struggle daily. Just wanting to do whats best for your kids. Regardless of the vaccine argument we must begin to find our mommy voices and educate and discuss the issues that lay close to your heart. remember you know your kids and you have their best interests at heart. no one can come close to that. go with your gut.

Monday, September 17, 2007

practically speaking

well its monday again. seems the weekends go by so quickly. especially since i worked twice this weekend. not really my idea of fun. seems i don't get enough time with my family that way. but dave loves having one on one time or i guess one on two time with the boys.
my to do list this week is a LONG one. and practically speaking i am unsure of how to go about it. it seems almost impossible to get things done with two little ones running around and getting into everything. our basement needs desperate help as we have been organizing and packing things away to make the showing of our house a better one. we have a lot of junk! so purging feels good. it sometimes seems so endless though. it feels like i move things from one pile to another one. ugg. anyways yes good news we are going to put up our house for sale and we are working out the details and are hoping to start building our new house soon!!! i will have more details this week and will post about it soon.. just feeling like we have been given a gift and that my house was important to God after all... lovely!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

tagged

Ok so I was tagged by Stacey for this little game.

Post these rules before you give the facts. You must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. (If you don't have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.) When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post and then choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don't' forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

M - Multiples. I could not for the life of me come up with an M word. I have multiples. I am constantly surprised at the things people think they can say to me because I have multiples. Honestly it has taken me a long time to come to appreciate this fact. I often feel like we are a little freak show. Ahh but at least its MY freak show.

A - Artistic. I love to let my creative juices flow in a an artistic way. I love to see a project from start to finish. Being artsy brings me LIFE.

R - Routine. I am a big fan of routine in my life. Its not really a serious problem just something that makes me feel more peaceful about life. I admit I have a hard time when things change last minute. My morning routine is by far the most dear to me. Coffee, Toast with peanut butter and the opening segment of Live with Regis & Kelly

I - Indecisive. I must admit I am fairly indecisive. It seems more so since I have had kids. I mull decisions over and over and most of the time just wish someone would make them for me. I wish I could be more confident in my own decision making skills.

E - Everywhere. Since I worked with YWAM I have moved around alot and with that comes the fact that I have friends everywhere. I am sad that I miss out on so many peoples lives because we are all so spread out. I am thankful for those here in my life but miss those that live everywhere else.

Now I tag Lisa, Eva, Marcy, Audrey & Lindsey

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

where did my little babies go?

I have been sitting here all day looking at these little boys who look so grown up wondering where my babies went... They had a haircut today. Just off the sides which were really starting to make them look like a clown.. Its true though after that first haircut they just somehow look older. But so sweet...

new day

i have a new outlook on life today.. just a different perspective. slept real good last night. it was kind of wierd. noah woke up only once and that was before midnight... ari slept till 8 without waking up for milk at 6 which was strange... i feel rested. i had a great day yesterday with my first phone session with kim mcmechan (read posts below) she spoke deep to my soul. i will blog more about that later. i feel a bit like a new person. ready to move forward. havn't moved forward in a long time.
thanks for all your comments below. they were encouraging. thanks for being out there.

Monday, September 10, 2007

tired

i am tired. physically and emotionally tired. after almost 16 months i still am getting up at night to tend to one kid or another (never at the same time). noah has resorted to being up almost every 2 hours... yes i know teething could be the culprit. but it doesn't make it any less tiring. i hate getting up at night.. am beginning to resent it in fact. its taking a toll on me in almost every way including my marriage. some how night time parenting is the worst for dave and i. we seem to miss the mark in communicating every time. not sure how much more we can take. any suggestions.. (please remember there is two to take into consideration so not all tried methods will apply)

Saturday, September 08, 2007

babywearing..

I've mentioned how big of a fan of babywearing i am in the past. And although with twins my babywearing has been somewhat restricted. i really valued being able to wear them when they were little and still do a bit here and there. Musings of a Crunchy Domestic Goddess is having a contest! She reviewed this great DVD which I think would make a great addittion to my Doula Library as well as a great resource for me and other babywearing moms around here. (not sure if there is many but i know at least a couple). Tummy 2 Tummy DVD looks great!

Friday, September 07, 2007

practical..

I am always looking for new ways to practically get around with twins.. there is always the stroller but some days when you just want to run in somewhere its a pain and it also depends on where you can fit and maneuver. then there is the grocery store. ahh the pain of single carts. superstore is the only place where i can manage smoothly taking both boys because of there great double seat in the cart. but some days i just long to get to co-op and pick up a few things and that is where i buy my new bothwell cheese. I own an Ergo carrier which is fabulous but i have not yet mastered getting my kids on my back (at least not smoothly and certainly not in a parking lot). So even though Steph's Mr Linky hates me here I am entering yet again another contest. Rockin' Baby is giving away one of their beautiful "strawberry fields forever" sling. heres to hoping.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

tripping into daylight

what a beautiful description of my life right now. i can't take credit for the title though. it comes from a book that has deeply moved and inspired me lately. i have wrote of kim mcmechan before and the way her voice stirs my soul. recently i was honored to receive her book as a gift and its already quite "used". i have read and reread it over and over. she writes short stories, poems and reflections... its so relatable. there is one page that has been read the most.. its a page that has become my go to.. someone that understands me.. like she is in my head and those are my thoughts put onto paper...
"sometimes there's nothing inside you but echoes, and the water is so low, its left a line, a watermark that's cracking in the sun and you feel it may never rise, fear you will be left out way up high to dry, never to float weightless again. Sometimes all the words have gone up and flown away, leaving no trace but a fayed string or a broken piece of kits flapping wildly in the wind to remind you there was once something there but it got so broken and its too far gone you'll never find it. Sometimes you are an elm tree in winter, bare and black and frozen, just tangled lines reaching for the sky and all you can do is try to cast shadows and make silhouettes in the blue morning, bare and cold. Inside me is January. Inside me is a backyard full of old snow. Inside me is a long stretch of prairie road. I am wiling like the the plants on the windowsill. Inside me is a place where the sun won't reach. Inside me is a white walled room with no pictures or windows or chairs. Sometimes there's nothing to say, you just a need a summer's day to warm your skin, to make something right again."
shes launched a new site of course brilliant idea and i am excited to have a coaching session with her next week.Her website is called Luscious Living (I can get the link to work for some strange reason so go to www.livelusciously.com.) She desires as a life coach to coach busy women (espcially mothers) who long for more order, balance, creativity and joy in their lives. Perfect! Her new site has lots to offer including a blog. So go check it out.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

garbage day

tomorrow is garbage day. i just got home from a walk and saw a family going through the trash at the apartment building on the corner of my bay. it really hit me. i have seen poverty and seen depravity. i have lived in big cities where homelessness is normal. i have been asked for food and for money on the street more times than i can count. i have led outreaches that focus on these issues. but today in my quiet little "perfect" white picket fence pleasant ville type community i saw a little girl putting on someones lipstick that had just come from a trash bag... and i want a bigger house and a pair of $50 kids shoes? now thats perspective. lord help me. help them.

please.....

pretty please i want to win this awesome giveaway from Steph over at Adventures in Babywearing. She is once again partnering with Vincent Shoes (oh so adorable) to give away a $50 gift certificate. Now as a mom to twins who has to buy things in TWO any kind of gift certificate would do. Not only does Vincent have the cutest footwear but the quality looks amazing. I have been drooling over their new collection which you can view here. I would love to see Ari & Noah walking in style this winter with either a very cute pair of Tom boots. I love Smith, Mini, Max and Dennis too. Go check it out.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

loving these guys..

Been enjoying a good long weekend. Love those! This pic was taken last week when the boys along with Daves parents visited Steinbach. Good times. Been creative this weekend diving into some scrapbooking. Check out My Scrapbooking Gallery by hitting the tabs on the top of my page.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

this, that & the other

happy thursday! its been full week so far... starting with sunday when dave and i left for our little getaway.. we headed down to grand forks. we stayed at a nice hotel and enjoyed shopping, eating, shopping, hot tubbing, eating, drinking coffee, eating and swimming. of special note was target.. i enjoyed it not only once but twice, eating at red lobster and of course the all time best place Qdoba's Mexican Grill.. seriously just about the best burritos i've had. I enjoyed Starbucks twice and I introduced Dave to Cold Stone creamery. But by far the prize goes to the 45 minutes we spent with all the hotel guests in a hallway waiting out the tornado that ripped through grand forks. it actually landed about 7 miles south and even involved a fatality. we were fine but the light show was one i won't soon forget. we relaxed which was the goal and although i did not sleep through the night it was peaceful and so quiet.
we came back to the boys having colds (dave had one last week) so they have been a bit off but they have enjoyed having grandma and grandpa difrancesco staying with us. tuesday's big adventure led us to Landmark to have our apples pressed - we got 63 2L jugs of goodness. we stopped in steinbach at the mennonite heritage place which was interesting. i remember going when i was little.
yesterday the boys enjoyed the library with grandpa and had great naps.
today i have been playing catch up with laundry, cleaning and stuff. looking forward to scrapping tonight.
i think thats about it.. i will get some pics up soon.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

grumpy pants...


thats how i feel... not just today but in general. but aside from that today is a special day and i want to celebrate it for what it is and not let me grumpiness rob me of that celebration. three years ago today i married the best guy! its been a road with lots of bumps and some potholes, sometimes it was straight and sometimes the road was so curvy it was hard to stay on. but i wouldn't want to travel with anyone else. thanks for the memories and thanks for always making me see how many more we have to experience and even in my grumpiness we can find the reason we celebrate occasions such as this one. a little look back...

Monday, August 27, 2007

Saturday, August 25, 2007

did i say light??

uggg feeling very grumpy this morning... not enough sleep maybe. a few posts down i hinted toward something good in the house hunting department and felt certain that maybe something promising was on the horizon.. yea well forget all that.. rewind to where you didn't know anything was happening cause thats where we are. back at square one or zero. starting over. its disappointing of course but i guess there must be a pot of gold at the end of someones rainbow.. somewhere...

Friday, August 24, 2007

light at the end of a very dark tunnel

as i write this my children are both screaming... lately its all they seem to do. whether both just wanting me or they have hit each other or are not getting what they want. its been a tough week and i am so thankful its friday. thankful dave will be home in 8 hours. thankful my in laws arrive tomorrow for a week. thankful next week i celebrate 3 years being married to the best guy. thankful on sunday we are going away for a night to celebrate with no kids.
being thankful helps.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

no strength not even for a title...

thats how i feel today. ari is still crying which is what he has been doing since he woke up this morning... he is suposed to be napping and after putting him down 8 times already this time he is just going to stay there till he falls asleep. today i would just rather not be a parent.... somedays i just want to rewind to 2 1/2 years ago and really enjoy those days. i know i am blessed with my kids and i do love them but today i have no strength to deal with any of it. my house is a mess, i still have not gotten to shower, i know any minute ari will wake up noah with his screaming and then i will be even more mad than i am now.. take me away please take me away.
so i went to check in on ari who in his screaming had pooped his pants.. so i picked him up changed him, gave him some milk and now he is back to screaming in his bed oh and i forgot to say dave just called and said he'd be late tonight... perfect!