Wednesday, January 01, 2014

2014.

Hello. I confessed to two friends in the last couple weeks that I have been writing just not publishing. They both encouraged me to put it out there. So here I am on the eve of the New Year like I have done for the past 6 years putting myself out there. One Little Word. It's been so symbolic for me. Shaping my life. The Power of words is not something to underestimate.

You can read my past choices. 2013: Worthy.  2012: Authenticity. 2011: Shine.  2010: Present. 2009: Choose. 2008: Simplify.

I believe in the process of looking back not to be stuck there but to appreciate where I have been so I can fully embrace where I am going. I wrote this last year...


Embrace Who I am
Take the journey back to self
Love with Depth
Speak Gratitude
Unleash Creativity
Believe 
Shine Bright
Surprise myself
Kill the desire to sabotage myself
Be at peace with my story
Happy with my red dot

 I read those words and feel peaceful with the choices I have made. Not all easy and some of my choices have led to more heartache. But like I always say I am a work in progress the best part is I am progressing. Starting this summer I moved into a season of stripping away alot of the things I did. The different ways I put value on myself and I moved into a season of being alone alot more. Having less to do. It was HARD.. some days it still is but I have learned so much about placing my worth in truth and the blessings of life rather than the things that fade away. 



I had some stumbling moments this fall when I was ready to throw in the towel... I even began to put walls up and I tried to callous my heart.. HA.. I laugh because I tried.. It didn't work.. It's just not who I am... and I am ENOUGH. I am not too much. I am ENOUGH. 



I hosted a party a couple years ago for my friends.. something I felt I couldn't do this past year but hope to be able to do again. This is the print I left with them. I still have one stuck to my mirror. It's really all I want to aspire to. My heart swells when I read this. 

My struggle has always been with being too much. One of the deepest wounds I carry comes from that place of hurt.. it's different now though cause in my time spent alone over the last few months I have taken time to heal and to realize that I am not responsible for other people's issues. Its easy for me to take them on cause I do wear my heart on my sleeve and instead of feeling bad about that I have to believe it's a quality that makes me who I am... and who I am is good. Full of love and loyalty, compassion and joy. And for the first time in a long time full of peace and contentment. 

So for 2014 I will live. Out of a place of knowing who I am, embracing that girl and using the gifts and character traits I have been given to encourage, inspire, support and the best part not put so much pressure on myself... because for sure I am enough.