Saturday, March 28, 2009

for real.

i know a girl. she is a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother and a friend. she is wounded, forgiven, hard working, loyal, fearful and aware of grace. she lives in a world of judgement, a hill of hope and a valley of self doubt. she is on a good day pretty self confident and on a bad day she can barely see through tears. she desires real vulnerability and a community of truth. she can see through most bull shit and yet finds herself consumed with self loathing.
she tries to keep a nice home, a well fed family, good looking kids and a successful business. she wants to love her husband as he deserves and she doesn't want to yell at her kids but often falls short. she would rather have you see her for who she is than gloss over everything with perfect words and a i'm fine all the time attitude.
most days she feels alone but lately she finds when she opens up and lets you see her for who she is she is astounded at the amount of others who are just longing for the same thing.
she wants you to know you are not alone.
she wants you to know that motherhood is hard work and those who act like it isn't are lying.
that being a wife isn't always easy.
that being a good everything is not attainable.
she wants you to know that there is grace for each day.
her kids love her in spite of all her shortcomings.
her husband longs for her to see how beautiful she really is.
her friends think she is fun.
her parents really truly believe in her and can't imagine life without her being in it.
she wishes she could go back and change some of the things she's done and the people she has hurt but she is realizing that she just has to keep walking out truth and believing that grace is hers again and again.
she is me.

Monday, March 09, 2009

what we do.. the last little while.

we snuggle...
pretty much we are just that cool
we bake
we play
we are silly
we kind of played in the snow once and watched papa and daddy build two cool snowmen
yep we did just watch
we played in fargo at the pool.. not in the pool but around the pool
getting our feet wet
riding the ferris wheel at Scheel's.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

hard to explain

just in a blog low.. lots of stuff going on in my head. need to get some stuff strait. i will be back. hang tight.