You can read my past choices. 2013: Worthy. 2012: Authenticity. 2011: Shine. 2010: Present. 2009: Choose. 2008: Simplify.
I believe in the process of looking back not to be stuck there but to appreciate where I have been so I can fully embrace where I am going. I wrote this last year...
Embrace Who I am
Take the journey back to self
Love with Depth
Kill the desire to sabotage myself
Be at peace with my story
Happy with my red dot
I read those words and feel peaceful with the choices I have made. Not all easy and some of my choices have led to more heartache. But like I always say I am a work in progress the best part is I am progressing. Starting this summer I moved into a season of stripping away alot of the things I did. The different ways I put value on myself and I moved into a season of being alone alot more. Having less to do. It was HARD.. some days it still is but I have learned so much about placing my worth in truth and the blessings of life rather than the things that fade away.
I had some stumbling moments this fall when I was ready to throw in the towel... I even began to put walls up and I tried to callous my heart.. HA.. I laugh because I tried.. It didn't work.. It's just not who I am... and I am ENOUGH. I am not too much. I am ENOUGH.
I hosted a party a couple years ago for my friends.. something I felt I couldn't do this past year but hope to be able to do again. This is the print I left with them. I still have one stuck to my mirror. It's really all I want to aspire to. My heart swells when I read this.
My struggle has always been with being too much. One of the deepest wounds I carry comes from that place of hurt.. it's different now though cause in my time spent alone over the last few months I have taken time to heal and to realize that I am not responsible for other people's issues. Its easy for me to take them on cause I do wear my heart on my sleeve and instead of feeling bad about that I have to believe it's a quality that makes me who I am... and who I am is good. Full of love and loyalty, compassion and joy. And for the first time in a long time full of peace and contentment.
So for 2014 I will live. Out of a place of knowing who I am, embracing that girl and using the gifts and character traits I have been given to encourage, inspire, support and the best part not put so much pressure on myself... because for sure I am enough.