the beautiful parts...

before we left vancouver we attended the best prenatal classes ever (if you are or get pregnant check out Birthing From Within) there were many reasons it was amazing but i learned so much about me and my inner journey. we explored fear and the way we cope with every day life. there was one evening where we broke into male/female groups and as females we uncovered our deepest question.. its a really neat excercise meant to have you really dig deep to discover what might be holding you back. out of this time my question took on many shapes and what i got out of it is.. How am I surrendering to each moment? this has always been huge for me as i tend to get wrapped up in the how and what and what if of it all. i have really been making concious decisions to bring myself back to that question throughout this pregnancy and it has made a difference in my every day life. in surrendering to the moment i am also gaining valuable insight into what makes pregnancy so beautiful in and around the hard times.
i have been touched by so many of you that stop here to read my thoughts or see my pictures it means so much to me! i have enjoyed the random bloggers stopping to leave comments and giving me more blogs to read. thats another glimmer of the beauty of pregnancy.

turning heads...

alright folks its official my belly is large and beutiful. i found out i am now turning heads and being asked how it feels to be overdue. yeah strangers ask that question... i measure a whopping 41.5cm which is what a women with one baby would feel like a week and a half overdue but me i have 7-9 weeks left. don't get me wrong i am still on the path of growing big healthy babies so having them inside is what we want but where do people come up with these things.. i decided to make you a list and hope you never become the kind of person to do any of these things...

Never ask a pregnant woman.. (that you don't know really, really well) espcially someone expecting twins...
1. Are you overdue? Just don't!
2. Do you have stretchmarks ? Since when would that be anyones business?!
3. When are you being induced? Seriously.
4. Can you sleep or even move at night? Maybe your husband should install a poll for you that hangs from the ceiling so you can get out of bed better.. uhh yeah enough said.
5. Probably not any clothes that fit you any more hey? No your right there aren't but don't ask!
6. Your huge, big, large, massive - anything along those lines.
7. Wow your feet are really really swollen - really?? i hadn't noticed.. did it occur to you because I DON'T WEAR SHOES ANYMORE??? Dumb.

Ok I am done. Other than all that I am feeling good. Of course I'm feeling full of baby because I am full of 2 babies but I am excited that they are moving and doing so well. I had a fetal assesment yesterday at the hospital I will deliver at and it was so pleasant and fun. I got to see the boys and hear there heart beats and even hear the blood moving through the cord which was so cool. They both weigh a big over 3lbs and are moving lots. Everything we would hope for. Baby A does not have his head down though which he needs to do right now his little bum covers my cervix. Baby B is head down and has his bum in Baby A's face. Litteraly. This is funny. We got a shot of Baby B's parts (scrotum) right on Baby A's nose. It was hilarious. So he is sitting on his brother. Maybe a sign of whats to come. Ahh at least they are keeping each other occupied. I got cute shots of their little faces. I will try to scan in pics later but am not sure they will scan well. We will see. Anyways yes we are all doing well and can't believe in 7 weeks or so we will meet our little guys face to face. Can't wait!

time is flying by

not a very clever title to this post so many things to report. last week was good. i found out i enjoy doing nothing; having no schedule and just being able to putz around however i want. i did alot of that..dave had a very busy first week working 37 hours in only 4 days. he is really enjoying work. i even got to go to wpg with him on a work errand the other day so that was fun. friday we had easter at my parents which was great. good food, good fun. the weather here is amazing. its been in the 20's for the last few days and i can't get over seeing sun everyday!
saturday we had our OB consult in Wpg. better than the last but still wierd. our doctor is hard to explain but reminds me of a plumber. he's messy, older, irish and for lack of a better word strange. but we liked his approach on childbirth and feel quite confident in his ability to give us as close to the birth that we want. with my midwife in attendance i feel well taken care of. he was funny. he could not get over how petite i was and asked me many times if i knew that i was small and how i saw myself getting even bigger than i am. i guess he never went to that school that told him your size has nothing to do with your ability to give birth.. yes i am large in the belly i measure 40 weeks pregnant with about 8 weeks to go. thats the other thing he was eager to do a fetal assement because he didn't believe me on my due date.. again muttering something about how small i am and how could my belly get any bigger. i will go in again this week for a fetal assement and will let you know how the boyz are doing in there.
before we left vancouver daves friend nick took some lovely photos of us and here are my two faves so far. i will write again this week with more news oh and pics of the house.

no need to worry

yes it looks as if pregnancy has changed my color completely but its only the camera doing the trick on my 30 week picture to the left. please don't be alarmed the water here is not bad or anything...
havn't given many updates on pregnancy lately so i figured its about time. i am well my belly is growing bigger and bigger when i last saw my midwife (last tues) i was measuring 38cm. you usually measure according to what week you are in pregnancy so you can tell that makes me BIG and looking like a woman about to give birth to one baby. its hard to imagine sometimes that i have two months to go wondering where they will fit and how on earth i will be comfortable. my feet are about double their size and even my legs are swelling. all those nice maternity clothes i bought are just barely holding on..
this saturday we have our consult with our OB in Wpg which will hopefully be a better experience than this last meeting. my midwife has worked with him and speaks highly of him and his attitude towards vaginal twin births which is wonderful. i am about ready for some good news in that regards.
i am excited to meet these boys and do relish in the miracle working inside my body every day. i don't take it for granted and can be thankful for all of this as long as my boys are healthy and doing well.
anyways that is about all. we are all doing well. dave works long hours - leaves the house at 7:30 and doesn't get home till 6:00 so that has been an adjustment but he is enjoying it as i am enjoying puttering around the house. i am missing the familur friendships i had, not sure how to seek people out or if maybe too much time has passed and the time apart has lost something. i hope not maybe its just an adjustment period for everyone involved.
must go - hungry again.. seems to be all i do eat, sleep, pee... the never ending cycle!

going the distance

yes all we are still alive and kicking. its been a hectic few weeks but we have made it to our final destination and are spending most days and evenings fixing up our new house. which by the way WE LOVE. we are one coat away from being finished painting and have already assembled a few pieces of furniture with a few left to go. we are hoping to be sleeping there tommorow night - just in time for the weekend.
lets see where did we leave off....
our final week in vancouver was sad but filled with lots of good memories. we had dinners with friends, good last coffee dates, we went for our final brittania sushi lunch with audrey which was very special as she agreed to be our boys godmother and that really blessed us. we had a lovely going away party with all our friends, an emotional sending off time at our last staff meeting where people blessed us with words and gifts that mean so much, we packed and packed and had the generous help of numerous people (thank you!) our last day was gorgous - sunny and warm. we packed up with the help of many and as we turned the corner onto 12th for the last time i lost any composure i may have been holding on to and the reality of leaving the last amazing three years caught up with me. we said our goodbyes (which were HARD) and headed off - up and through the mountains and down into the praries where when we crossed into manitoba felt a huge sense of peace even though leaving vancouver was hard we still feel that this move is whats best for us and our growing family.
so this week has been busy painting, moving in, unpacking and getting adjusted to a slower paced life. its been great to stay with my parents who have been so generous. we got to meet our midwife - whom WE LOVE! she is so fabulous. i'm excited to have her there as we meet our boys. we will have a consult in wpg soon with the OB who will be there when we deliver. our midwife suggested to have a consult with a doctor who might attempt a vaginal birth with twins here locally (remember we are pretty rural here) so we thought we would give that a try. we'll just say it was a compete waste of time... here are some highlights.
"so.. do you know about twins? you know that a lot more complications come with delivering them.. like one of them could die!"
"yeah so i am the ONLY one here who will do a vaginal birth but everyone else will gladly do ceasearans so if you want to set that up we can do that."
"oh my vacation is the first half of june."
oh great thanks for all the uplifting information i think we'll go somewhere else. but thanks.
It was kind of comical now that i look at it. I am looking forward to meeting a much more advanced thinking doctor. It's really amazing the difference between a doctor and a midwife. we'll definitly stick with the midwife.
i think you are all up to date. next time i will have pics to post and more news as well.
thanks for sticking with it. i know how frusterating it is to check a blog over and over and over and never see a new post. thanks for your patience.
you are loved.

a little chaos..

just wanted to apoligize for my lack of posting and confess you will have to wait one more week.. we are in the craziness of packing and we are leaving tommorow so we have not had a ton of time for much else. i just wanted you to know where we are at. check back next week for a update and lots of fun pictures from all the fun parties and such we have had this past week..
saying goodbye is never fun...

My Blessingway

I was the lucky recipient of a beautiful blessingway planned this weekend by my lovely friends. Audrey hosted and with help planned the best sunday afternoon. It was so special. I wish I could remember every word that was spoken it was so lovely. A blessingway is used to mark the change in a woman's life and it is a more symbolic and moves away from the traditional shower as it celebrates the women's new journey into motherhood. My blessingway was beautiful. We had communion, a beautiful reading which symbololized the love and support I have by others around me, I received shoulder massage, hand massage and a foot wash. My friends prayed for me and for the boys. They even brought letters for the boys that they had written.There was so much thoughtfulness poured into the day. Its hard to put here all the emotion and love that went into that time. I felt so blessed. They also brough gifts for the babies which was so nice.
It was so beautiful to know that I am embraced by so many women. One thing we did that i love is called A Weaving. There was a ball of yarn and we each tied string around each others wrists and we were then all connected. The string was cut in between each person and its to remain on their wrists till the babies come. I thought it was a lovely reminder of knowing that they support me in this journey. Here are some pics from the time. It was hard to choose pictures to encompass this time. I had the best day and want to thank my friends - you will be missed more than you will know.

2 weeks + 1 day...

the countdown is on. the short span of time left is overwhelming and next to impossible to wrap my mind around. it envokes feelings of fear, sadness, anxiety, relief, basically your run or the mill emotional roller coaster. you are constantly thinking "this is the last time.." phrases when you do things. on sunday dave and i went for a walk and talked about how much we will miss the mountains and the green grass year round. the cherry blossom trees are out in full bloom and their beauty takes my breath away sometimes. last time for brittania sushi.. last time to stop in favorite coffee shops or shop on the drive.. donalds market and cheap produce. i won't even begin to start with the emotional ties to people i am not prepared for that.
i know we are moving on for great reasons and i am not doubting its right but regardless of right or not its not easy.
we did get to visit seattle this past weekend and hang out with friends we will not see for awhile. we had a great time! i even got to spend some girl time with mel, amy and amanda which was amazing. lots of memories with them. reminders of the amazing last 5 years and all that has happened.
so my belly is growing bigger and bigger. had to go shopping again - some will say i look almost full term already and i can imagine towards the end i will sit around in my underwear or have to make dresses out of blankets. heehee i'm just kidding although they should make a special store for pregnant twin moms. i'm lucky dave loves my belly he even talks of how sad he will be when it is gone. i am happy to report i have started gaining a better amount of weight and it still is only in my belly which makes me happy. ok maybe a couple pounds in my poor swollen feet.

not into keeping secrets...

yes i am still here and apoligize for the lack of posting. last week went so fast with all the comotion around here. the dts teams came back from outreach so it made for a very busy week. it was so great to have them all come back and have them share their stories. the weekend was nice as the staff went to a hotel to debreif the school and relax. i floated in the pool - what an incredible feeling to be weightless.
well yesterday was the big day... as dave would say we spyed on the babies which was awesome. we went to a different place than last time and although we waited forever we also were blessed to have them be "playing" around with the 3D feature which allowed us great views of our little guys - yep kickstands and all.... i have to admit i was suprised for some reason i really thought they would be girls. we are both very excited!! i am relieved because my biggest fear was that they wouldn't be in the right position to tell. we got some amazing shots of the babies and seeing the 3D views was incredible. we couldn't scan the pictures for some reason they did not turn out but i am positive the one baby we got a good face shot of looks just like dave. super cute. so instead of pics of the baby i found this cute onesie that describes it all.. my boys will be boob men. (if anyone ever comes across this onesie i would like two!)




























way too many cool websites out there you have to check this out: http://www.cafepress.com/deeksbrats/1200861

you can't live in my ribs...

its been a while. each weekend dave and i have the intention to take a pregnancy photo of my ever growing belly and we are falling behind. this week i promise. so the newest thing is one baby likes to live in my rib cage and stretch out. its fascinating to know its growing and i can feel it but its taking its toll on my ribs. the babies are kicking lots too. some nights dave and i can't keep up with trying to feel them all. one kicks here one kicks there and then this morning i found out they love music. during worship they were all over the place. its so fun to feel them moving. hard to imagine how cramped it must be in there for them and they still have a ways to go.
we had breakfast with my parents at the airport on saturday as they had a layover on the way to their fantasy trip to thailand. all expense paid. incredible. i am excited for them to get off the continent and see what they are missing. after sending their kids all over the world they deserve to get away.
so we scored yesterday at the ikea as is box sale. a couple times a year they load their warehouse with damaged boxes that have not been looked through. you wait in line and you have to barrel your way around crazy people. its awesome. anyways we scored big time. we got $1100 worth of furniture for $100.00. Incredible. Our house looks like an Ikea warehouse as we are not unpacking any of it but will leave it boxed to make the move to Winkler. It was a fun day even when we had to configure a roof rack to get some of it home.
i wanted to put out a disclaimer on my previous post. i spoke openly about my feelings of attatchement parenting and breastfeeding and in no way meant it to be a harsh word to those whom i love and whom i already know i can count on back home. it wasn't meant to accuse them of not caring or not helping. i already know in my head that i can count on those people. i was just expressing my fears of the well wishers who mean well but don't have the kind of authority to speak into the way you plan to raise your kids. you know the ones you come across and who are barely acquaintences. so if any of you reading this felt i meant you by no means did i. i know who loves me and will support whatever way i find i can manage these two little babies.. i am going to need you and know i can count on you for anything.
till next time my friends...

comfort

you know when you have someone in your life that just spells comfort for you. someone who you have learned so much from, have grown so much partly because of.. i think we all have more than one and i got to spend some time with someone who is that to me this week. my good friends ben and mel parsons and there adorable daughter jaya were here to visit up from seattle. it was great to spend time hanging out with them. mel is one of those people who knows me so well and has seen me in my worst times. we did our dts together almost 9 years ago - yikes!! and then i staffed in seattle for a few years with them. it was in that time i grew the most and she was always there to inspire and challange me. she is such an inspiration not only a great wife and mother she is also on her way to becoming a midwife. it was great to have them up here. here are a couple pics from our time with them.
not much else is new. after last week its been a quieter week. my tummy is growing what feels like daily. we traded in our stroller for the double version and i love it. it was great to have done all that research and have the one i picked luckily have a double model so it all didn't go to waste. i have joined a yahoo group that is so insightful on having multiples. its an attatchement parenting group that highly encourages exclusive breastfeeding, baby wearing (yes its totally possible) and co-sleeping. it has been refreshing to read other peoples experiences and realize that i don't have to give up anything just because there is two.
people keep asking me if i am overwhelmed and although the realization that life will be different definitly is real i don't feel overwhelmed; i feel blessed and up for the challange. the only thing i am worried about it having the support of others when we move who are likeminded in the breastfeeding area. i have already had skeptikal comments from people who don't realize that milk is a supply and demand thing and that you make what you need and there are women who feed triplets till they are well into there toddler years. i want to know that i am supported because i am going to need help! luckily there are great support groups in winnipeg for parents with multiples and i am attending meetings here too with women who are doing it.
ok ok enough about that. this has turned into a long post so i will end with that.

what a week..

so now that the shock has worn off. i have some time to gather some thoughts. all this news has been quite overwhelming and has created some mind shifts for us. but i am equally excited at the double blessing we are being granted - with that double blessing i pray comes double grace.
there has been some time of surrender like not being able to have a home birth and having to consult with ob's. luckily my midwives still take me as primary care. we will deliver our babies in winnipeg as well. its amazing to me how often i have told my clients not to have expectation of their births and to hold everything lightly you just never know what will happen but i'm surprised at how many hidden expectations i held.
family and friends are extra excited. it was almost more fun telling people this news and the reactions we got were much bigger. so thanks to all of you for your excitement and support and your well wishes. it means so much to us.
as if we didn't have enough huge news we have more. we bought a house! yep my parents looked at it and we put an offer in the same day and this morning it went through so we are now official adults yep expecting twins, and homeowners all in one week. what will be next??
here is a pic of our new home at 231 Imperial Bay. It's cute, small and well taken care of. Good enough for the first while and we can move in April 1 which is perfect. ok now you let it all sink in..... p.s. the two deers in the front don't come with the house. i know i know its sad.
oh and if you haven't visited in awhile check out the post below for fabulous pictures.

introducing....

well we had our ultrasound yesterday which was so exciting. we were really excited to find out the sex of the baby but unfortunately we couldn't because....we found out that there is not just one baby but two. its a double blessing. as overwhelming as this all is we are also aware that we are so blessed. because of the babies position we couldn't see what they were but the tech was pretty sure that the babies are identical. anyways i wanted you to see our babies first photo shoot. they were referred to as baby a and baby b for the tech as she had lots of measurments to take. the babies measure the same and look to be growing well. not sure where they are going to grow too. i feel a bit full already.

this first picture is of our babies heads. it was funny the way they were draped all over each other. baby b had its little bum in baby a's face and dave said at times would be kicking baby a in the head. hopefully they can get along in their little home.





this is baby a - very mellow. just relaxed there. every so often you'd see baby a's arms and legs move but it was perfectly content. one of the most incredible things was seeing there little hearts beating and watching them gulp and swallow.






this is baby b - much the little swimmer, twister and just general wiggly one. dave commented baby b seemed hyper. and hopefully baby b's kicking of baby a's head won't give either of them a complex. so where the babies bum is thats where baby a's head is. kind of like they are spooning backwards. i'm sure they will be good friends.

new week

well dave is home and all is well. i have to keep reminding myself he is here to stay. we have had a nice weekend just relaxing and he has adjusted well.
as you can see in the sidebar i will begin a weekly (or maybe every two weeks) pic of my ever growing belly. dave was so surprised. he is facinated with touching it. today we will spy on the baby through our ultrasound. i am super excited to see the baby.
i will post more tommorow and hopefully can scan a few pics of the little bean.
till then.

3 more sleeps!!!

i can't belive it. 3 more sleeps and in 4 days i will be hugging dave. it feels like he has been gone forever! i fly back to vancouver tonight. i hate flying but today i am looking forward to getting on the plane.
things were good here at home it was great to see people. i even got to hang out with lisa last night and went for breakfast with her this morning which made the trip complete. i must say william gets cuter and cuter. hopefully she will send me a recent pic and i will post it all for you to see.
i am feeling the baby lots more lately its the most incredible feeling. i'm feeling good other than bad gas pains, bleeding gums and acid reflux.
time to get going. think of dave as he travels alone from perm to moscow on the 23 hour train ride and then waits 5+hours at the moscow airport. so soon he will be home!!!!!!
have a great day!

18 weeks

well at least its something. when i get home i will take a better belly shot but for those of you who are dying to see here is me and our little bean at almost 19 weeks.

miracles

well its snowing and so beautiful outside and i have good news. the midwives here in winkler have agreed to take me on. i still find myself speechless that they have decided to make room for me. its amazing. i never really let go but must admit that my hope was dwindling. i have not spoken with my primary yet but hope to this week. i have felt really good the last few weeks and only this week with the lack of activity (sitting at my parents house doing nothing and eating lots more than i am used to) i feel a bit gross. i need to get out and walk or something. i am looking forward to getting back to vancouver and routine and seeing dave. only 9 more days - actually only 8 more days cause on the 9th day i get to see him. it will be nice. hopefully he is not a little ice cube - where they are this week it has been about -45 degrees (now that is COLD).
its been neat to see my belly grow and the baby flutter around the acid reflux is not so much fun but tums seem to relieve that quickly lucky for me.
i can't wait to see the little bean on our ultrasound on the 30th i think we have agreed to find out the sex of the baby; its funny to hear people's reactions to that. here is advice from one pregnant momma to be to everyone. Its best to keep all opionions to yourself. now whether or not we tell everyone will be our secret - we will let you know.
time for supper. till next time.

coming home....

i made it home. it was a good trip and i got to spend the night at Lindseys house and hang out with her the next day which was so good!! she is doing really well as always its so fun to spend time with her. i've been home now for a couple days. its been lots of relaxing which has been so good. i needed the downtime. i have not seen too many people just family and my good friend rhonda which was nice. she is about ready to deliver her second baby which is exciting. i am hoping she has the baby while i am here. anything obviously not much else is new. i will post some new pics of me in my fourth month this weekend. oh and by the way it is warm here - almost balmy. when i got out of the airport the other day it was almost midnight at only -2 which is CRAZY. it is much nicer than what dave is having in russia at a mild -25. yikes.
till later.

the weekend, phone calls and other things...

i don't have a digital camera right now as dave took it to russia so it seems silly to post with no pics to show you but i figured i should post anyways. had an ok weekend other than not alot of sleep. can't seem to sleep these days. i cleaned, was crafty and hung out with friends which was nice. sunday morning i was woken up to the most beautiful voice and got to speak with dave for almost 20 minutes. it was so good to hear from him. they are well a bit on the cold side but doing good. its about -25 with windchill and most of the time they are skating on outdoor rinks. yikes. but they seem to be in high gear and attracting lots of people to hang out with. it was so good to hear his voice and i figured i could make it another week now without hearing from him but then this morning the phone rings and its him again!! i was so excited i barely knew what to say. it was nice to have those morning calls and i feel a bit spoiled.
i get ready to leave to manitoba tommorow and i am looking forward to being home and eating good home cooked meals, seeing friends and family and just relaxing. i get to see lindsey tommorow and will stay with her my first night there and hang out with her on wednesday i am really looking forward to seeing her. so yeah thats about it. i still need to pack and get some work things done before i leave but keeping busy helps pass the time. thanks for all your kind calls and emails it means alot. i will post again in manitoba and will have use of my parents digital pics so i can email you some more pics of my ever growing belly. enjoy today!

isn't he cute