Monday, August 13, 2007

challenge my unbelief

faith has always been apart of my life and in the last 10 years a big part. for those of you have only recently joined me here the last 10 odd years i have worked with a non profit non denomonational missions organization. worked all over, traveled all over and been able to take part in things that have blown me away... faith has always been a huge part of what we accomplished. it always seems that we were taking big ideas and running with them when there was no earthly way any of it could be possible but somehow it always turned out. i know i know sounds coo key (is that a word?) but stay with me... of course there was always unbelief because after all how could any of it be possible? like how when students needed like $3000 to go on outreach and the day before the deadline it all comes in, or how when our base in vancouver gave me and 2 other girls the task of driving across the country to our nations capitol to live for a few months with the crappiest van and no i mean no money to put on a huge conference for hundreds of people.. yea we pulled it off... and even now looking back i have no idea how???
ok all this to say i have seen faith put to the test and seen provision a couple hundred times but still my unbelief is stronger than my faith. since being away from ministry we have gone through the doubt of whether our lives count as much as they used to and also struggled to find peace in receiving gifts or feeling like we are slipping away when we were so immersed in "good works" (yikes thats a whole different post). the other day a friend reminded me that God wants to give me good gifts now too and not only when "life counts for something"
what am i getting at.. well we are house hunting and its not going well and i am struggling to believe i deserve a nice house that fits us and finding it even harder to believe that God can and will provide much more than i imagine i deserve.
so i am challenging my unbelief and believing that we all deserve a little more than we need and even want.


evelyn said...

hey heather!
Rom 10:17 says "faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God."
whenever i feel doubtful and need a boost of faith, i've learned to turn to scripture because his promises are true. faith comes by hearing the word of God:

"my grace is sufficient for you, my strength is made perfect in your weakness." 2 cor 12:9

grace is unmerited favour. grace is God withholding the wrath that we deserve and instead giving us blessings that we don't deserve.

God is a good father and he loves to give good gifts to his children (and that includes nice houses)!

He has blessed you with every spiritual blessing and promises to meet all of your needs according to his riches in Christ Jesus (see Eph 1:3 and Phil 4:19).

love you, ev

Emily Deu said...

amen Heather.....Remember Ottawa!!! He does want to give you good gifts. Can't wait to see new pics of your new house..

kelly said...

Great post Heather. good reminders. I definitely know what you mean about unbelief feeling stronger than your faith; sometimes i wonder if it's just human nature and that's how it's supposed to be, but other times I just feel so disappointed with my unbelief.
I'll be praying that God allows this house hunting experience to be faith building, and hopefully as miraculous as ours was (you can a bit about it at, if you're interested.)

lindsey said...

i feel this post heather! i have been thinking the same thing along other lines...not so much a house, but it feels like it may as well be. but you're right, God wants to give us good things, so i will keep asking but it feels kind of rediculus when i don't have the faith to believe it's possible. thanks for posting!