Thursday, May 03, 2007

guilty pleasure?

yes i know i have been far too absent in posting. and with so much to post about it almost makes it harder to get it done... i have had a good week. it started with a fabulous weekend.. last saturday was super scrap day which happens out of the amazing imagination of marcy who runs the local My Scrap Shoppe. it was a full day of nothing but scrapping. i got to hang out with some amazing people who are so hard core and talented it inspired me beyond belief. i felt so full of life and creativity.. i got 4 layouts done and worked on some altered canvas's. which all turned out great.
the rest of my week has been good.. busy but good. stuff up everyday. the boys are doing good.. sleeping better but stuck on this 5am gotta eat tyrant.. i won't complain to much its better than it was.
my mother in law arrived last night for a week.. it couldn't be better timing for me. i feel a bit burnt out - physically and mentally... i am looking forward to the live in help. although noah seems to not be too sure of this new arrangement.. he has been clinging to me all morning..
now onto the guilty part... my friend julia and i have been planning our trip to fargo for a few weeks and now that its here (we leave tomorrow morning) i am exciting, guilty, apprehensive, relieved.. and a bunch of other emotions. will my boys be ok? will they still love me when i get home? how will they sleep? will they be confused as to why i'm not there tomorrow?
its crazy the guilt we as mom's can talk ourselves into. both dave and i felt this trip was important and a big step in just refueling and i am so looking forward to it but scared and sad all that same time. another issue i am dealing with is the excess skin my boys left me around my middle which has been really my insecurity issue lately. i feel alot of self loathing about my body and especially trying to dress it. after wearing the same clothes over and over i am excited to get some new things but so afraid that nothing will fit and i will end up so frustrated.. so if you think of us this weekend that would be great. we leave tomorrow early and come back later saturday afternoon. so its not that long...
anyways i should get going. got lots of cleaning to do now that my boys are out walking with grandma... i will post about my trip when i get back.. hoping for great deals!

9 comments:

Gina said...

Oh, shopping in Fargo! I am jealous. Hope you guys have a great time and find some good deals! Check out Kohls, they often have great buys.

Anonymous said...

Yes - you can borrow the books. Which ones do you want and do you wanna come get them or should i drop them off? Let me know by email or phone I'm in the book...
Gina

Reesh said...

Oh my god - an overnight trip without the boys - enjoy!!! I know it's hard to let go, but they will be just fine. Momma NEEDS her break as much as your little darlings need their momma ALL THE TIME!! Let your hair down and have a great time!!

anita said...

Hard Core? Who? Me??? ;) I hope you have a great time shopping and relaxing with your friend. No guilt...all fun! I look forward to hearing about your great finds!

kelly said...

good for you to get away!!! i haven't gone more than a night away from Taeya, but while it may be hard, i'm sure you'll really enjoy it too!
i SOOOO relate to you on the clothing issue. it's tough! here's hoping you can find something you feel comfortable and hot in ;)

Merrilee said...

Hope you have a great weekend Heather. You deserve the time away. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and sometimes we as Mother's feel bad for taking some time to refuel. As far as the clothing issue, you look great. After I saw you the other day, I kept thinking of how beautiful and vibrant you looked. Don't stress the extra skin. We are our own worst critics. Believe me, one day you'll look back at these times and say, "what was I complaining about? I looked great!"

jamie said...

hmm..heather did you watch grey's last night? What did you think of Addison's new show? I'm not sure yet but I must say I was disappointed with the lack of greys characters... I wasn't ready for it to be all new people!

Anonymous said...

Heather -

I've always said that there's nothing that a little time in Target can't cure! Go crazy!

Karla

Crystal said...

Sounds like you had fun at SDD. I'm hoping to go one day.