Tuesday, January 22, 2013

lovely stars.

Its cold outside. Unbearably cold. It makes me want to curl up under a blanket and hibernate. Lately I long to be home. Warm. Protected. Somedays I wish I could hide my heart too. BUT I realize I cannot. I love.. I love people deeply and things just affect me. And for once I am finally realizing that is ok...

Ok totally not where I was going with this post. In the above realization I am confident in the way I am viewed by my God... I have worked hard to believe He is who He says He is and that He loves me for me. Despite my short comings... I feel more at peace than I ever have. More at home in my own body, in my own mind and most of all my Spirit finally feels like me...

He is with me.

Tonight I had two awesome bootcamps.. those ladies man they thrill me.. they are just so awesome.. but again not where I am going tonight... Before I left I had pressed refreshed on my email.. it loaded and I saw a new update from Gwen on Don's Caringbridge site. I thought I should pull over and read it.. in the dark in my van on the side of the highway. I took a deep breath and read her sweet words. I often think of her and how she is sitting day by day beside this man whom she loves so deeply. His words have been taken away, His hands, his ability to move around on his own... but I love to read her write about his eyes... I close my eyes and I can see them. I would often sit in the YWAM books office and spill my heart to Don.. he would smile... listen.. and then be able to speak words of peace to my soul. He is the definition of wise and caring. She wrote candidly about the time being near... you can read it here if you are interested.. but it made me think about how He is near.. through all the different things we face He is there. I am trying to do things that I feel led to do.. Trying to feel. hear. see. love.

I pulled back onto the hwy and this song flooded my mind... I wish I could sit with Don & Gwen right now... this would be my gift.  

Then I saw a falling star... it was beautiful. He is there. Always.


Jenelle Suderman said...

LOVE your heart...so blessed to have you as my friend <3

Lydia said...

Beautiful. You have such a way with words. xo

Judith Voth said...
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Dixie Vandersluys said...

So beautiful, Heather.

Reading this and your post from today, you know your talking about things that are becoming so important, so part of my calling.

After listening to your song, I remembered that on the day my grandpa died. It was he and I alone in the emergency room for a little bit. I quoted scripture and sang to him. This song kept coming to mind and I kept singing it over and over to him:

When He cometh, when He cometh
To make up His jewels,
All His jewels, precious jewels,
His loved and His own.

Like the stars of the morning,
His brightness adorning,
They shall shine in their beauty,
Bright gems for His crown...

Lori said...

That is absolutely beautiful, Heather! You have many talents, and among them is a way with words and a beautiful voice!