Thursday, February 24, 2011

down. a little.

(can't find the source now.. sorry)

having a hard time describing to myself how i feel... wonder if it will make sense to put it down here? i've been on a journey and it's been good... hard but good. my heart is lighter and more free than it's been in years.

i'm not as hard on myself.

but then there are days like today where i feel down. low. it's not anything that's really "happened" to me but just more a sense of where i want to be... some days the process feels so slow. so gentle.

after spending some time with the big guy i always feel lighter. but today i just want more. maybe the dissatisfaction is a gift.

to be honest my disappointment started with a silly thing.. I pitched an idea to Dave and he shot it down.. using his no fail reason.. money. he always goes there. i mean deep down in most situations i do appreciate it.. but it really wasn't that much money and the end result was a special day of fun for the boys... anyways i find disappointments like that fester inside me... today i am choosing to send it packing. no festering. just get over it.

we had a great family weekend away... it was far from perfect and people didn't seem to have as much fun as usual but the boys loved swimming and they had a blast. my heart wasn't in shopping which was kind of a bummer but i did manage to find a couple great deals.
it was just nice to get away...

really struggling with Jett this week.. sleeping is an issue. at night and for naps. we were doing well, then it sucked again, then it got a bit better and now it's down the crapshoot. ugh. so tired of being tired. so with all that complaining just here to say i am a work in progress and in regards to us over here at casa difran i'll cling to this little mantra...

10 comments:

Jeff and Melissa said...

I love this post. No festering!

Chrissie said...

Thank you for sharing. Jeremy and I have had a lot of conversations where he sees dollar value and I see fun value. Neither is right or wrong but it can be a painful conversation. I know I mentioned this on FB but seriously, the Financial Peace University class is helping us have much better understanding of where the other is coming from.

LD said...

Dear Heather,
Could it be the coffee that is keeping little Jett awake? Just a guess.

marcy said...

Hang in there Heather.
I think when guys are the only ones working they feel very responsible to be sensible and thrifty... at least that's what happens here. :)
Just remember you're loved!

Heather said...

Nope won't be the coffee... I only drink one cup in the morning and then decaf for now....

The Stiffs said...

YES! to being bummed about the process sometimes. YES to days that just feel kind of low, without good reason. YES to being tired of being tired.
Glad you guys got away with your family. Loves!

Anson said...

I have been following your blog for awhile and am encouraged and appreciate your honesty.
On a lighter note...where did you get that picture...in your last blog?

Heather said...

Thanks for leaving a note... Sorry I totally forgot to put the source.. I'll go do that now :) I usually use photos I have saved as inspiration either from flickr or weheartit.com. :)

Rachel Thiessen said...

SO with you on the naps going down the crapshoot this week! What's up with that? Mine is currently still talking happily in her crib after an hour and a half of being in there. She is also practising her latest crawling moves and has discovered that she can sit up in her crib and is trying to pull up....guess that mattress will be dropped a notch after today's nap. sigh.

carly smith said...

i adore that coffee print. i have it hanging in my kitchen too, right above the coffee maker :)
keep pressing on. "just keep swimming" it will all be worth it, i promise.