Wednesday, July 16, 2008

rough

i'm having a bit of a rough time blogging lately... i have lots to say but am so afraid of how i say things and the effect it will have. it has come to my attention that i have some readers who don't like what i say or who i am or whatever.. this has been hard for me to "get over".
it's hard for me because i am feeling like people are expecting my life to suck or me to fail so that they can be happy. this puts tremendous pressure on me. and makes me afraid to blog.
for so long i have really put alot of weight in vulnerability and just being raw and real.. i don't want that to change. its part of who i really am.
i know who i am is a good person.. i know i have wandered off the path in my life. i know its me who puts the biggest expectation on me. i know i need to just rise above and remember who i am and all i am meant for. so be patient with me... i'll be back. i just need to heal a bit first.

14 comments:

Dixie Vandersluys said...

Take your time and do what you're comfortable with re: blogging. But continue to be who you are, Heather, and know that the hurt that comes with vulnerability and being real is a good hurt. (At least that's what I keep telling myself...) :) Take care!

Jenelle Suderman said...
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Jenelle Suderman said...

healing is good...but don't let it take away from the person you are, what people say hurts but the people that truely know you and love you, know that you are an amazing person, the past is the past and it only matters who you are now and what you have made of the person you used to be. Keep being you, you are an amazing talented gifted women. Your boys love you cause you are such a awesome mother and wife..and your friends loves you cause you are a true friend. Those that tear you down aren't doing it to better you, so as hard as it is, try to turn the other cheek..love you heath!

sorry that was my deleted comment..i made a spelling error and it bugged me ;)

alneva said...

Hey,
I know that I don't know you well but I thought I would comment. I deleted my blog for the same reasons you just blogged about - fear of being true to myself but not who others expect me to be. I would encourage you to be you even though I don't know the details.

Crystal said...
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Gina said...

Echoing what everyone else is saying Heather. I enjoy your blog, and I love how very open and honest you are with sharing your feelings, I wish I was able to do that more on my blog. Sorry that someone has made you feel this way...
HUGS...

Angela said...

heather you know all the words...so I don't need to write them to you. But I do need to say I think you are beautiful and wonderful. And I hope you come back to blogland soon...cause I LOVE LOVE LOVE reading your blog.

Blow it out your --- people! hah! lol.

Amanda said...

H. I don't need to comment. You know how I feel. Seriously - you've impacted me beyond what words can describe.

LOVE.
A.

nicole renee said...

hi, my name is nicole and i used to live in winkler, i found your blog through lisa's and have been stalking for a bit. it is good to read about people's stories and see where life has taken them. i've appreciated your honesty in your blogging and it is encouraging to see where you are now. i've enjoyed your blog, but taking time to heal is important. blessings as you continue on...

Courtney said...

Hey Heather! I love reading your blog too! It is always a joy to see what you guys are up to :) Get a glimpse of your life so far away. Hopefully we can make it out for Kris' big day and see you guys again! Love you!

Ma boƮte de chocolats said...

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
Dr. Suess.

Well, then those shallow individuals need to stop reading your Blog. Plain and Simple. If these are friends of yours, it's hard, but sometimes you have to lose friends or move on from friends if they are holding you back from who you are, or bringing you down. Friendships run in seasons, just like the Seasons, and they change. That is the natural flow of life.

Love YOU.

carly smith said...

i love you for your real-ness.
that's all. just love you for you, no matter what that looks like. if it's messy or lovely, it doesn't matter. you are you. don't ever change.
love you. miss you. hope you can come back soon.

Steph said...

I have not commented before but felt the need to on this one.
I enjoy reading your blog, the way you express yourself is so real.
I understand the past can be hard, and I can relate to many things I would have liked to have changed.
I am enjoying getting to know who the "real Heather" is thru your blog!
Stay true to yourself, those who do not take the time to see past things are missing out.
Okay so this may be way to long of a comment for a first one.....

Melanie said...

Amen to all of the above, Heather. Hugs!