LIVE this life full...

the events of yesterday have left a deep imprint on my heart... deeper than I thought. we attended Renee's funeral yesterday. surreal is the best explanation I can offer. an intimate, authentic, deeply sad, joyous, life changing memorial to someone who has left her mark in this world. in our hearts, in nations and in the justice she sought. i loved the visual picture wade painted as he reminded us of the tattoo Renee had on her ankle.. the Khmer word for hope. a painful reminder of a young, vibrant, uncommon, beautiful woman who knew the meaning of pain and suffering yet saw so much hope in herself and her world. she truly is promoted to glory as her dad has so eloquently said. the whole service was just what Renee would have loved. the quirky read poems that she loved, those she was closest to giving their tributes in language that Renee spoke. joanna spoke only as eloquently as she can and gave a deep tribute to the woman we knew in ywam. she played a video of Renee giving her testimony and also the readers theatre that Renee has written for The Rendevous in 03. It was a powerful picture of how gifted she was. I think that the angels are probably practicing her Earth, Fire, Water, Wind piece.. the drums must sound fantastic up there.
I could just see Renee in heaven worshiping with her king as we were lead in songs that meant so much to her and her mom. I found myself feeling so closely the presence of God...
somehow her parents mustered up strength to give tribute to their beautiful Renee... my heart is broken when I think of them having now lost three children to this savaging disease.
wade broke it all open as he gave a message of hurting and healing. he spoke right from the heart of Jesus and I know that I know that I know Renee loved every minute of it as did we. i appreciate his honesty and his no need for sugar coating.
he ended with the prayer of St.Patrick set to techno that Renee would have loved. i have no words to express the feeling in that room at that moment as we all realized that she was truly gone. that she wasn't going to get up and dance to wades kick ass techno this time. but that she did arise through god's strength to pilot her, through His might to uphold her, through His wisdom that guided her. that now His eyes were looking at her, His ears were hearing her, He is speaking to her.. Christ be with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ on my right, Christ on my left, Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit, Christ when I arise....