Sunday, February 10, 2013


It's February and I am needing to take stock. Count the inventory in my mind and my heart. Honestly it's not been so good... I mean life is generally good and I am feeling so grown up lately. Not grown up in the way that I have it all together cause that's always going to be a lie.. I see people who appear perfect and it makes me want to vomit cause there is no growth in that.. no embracing the nitty gritty so that you can come out refined. I just don't like it. But there have been some things in life that are currently sucking the life out of me... this is just not good. I went back to make sure my red dot is in tact...

Embrace Who I am
Take the journey back to self
Love with Depth
Speak Gratitude
Unleash Creativity
Shine Bright
Surprise myself
Kill the desire to sabotage myself
Be at peace with my story

It's the last one I am having some problems with.. I am not really at peace with my story right now. At least parts of it. I feel like I am cheating myself by allowing situations to totally take over. Especially when it's never what it was meant to be. I want to inspire women to live their best lives. From the inside... forget about the outside. I am learning to shine brightly more and more. And surprise myself.. oh boy this one I am getting pretty good at... I am the speaker at a girls event coming up in a couple weeks. Totally out of my comfort zone... I mean I have spoken before that's not really it.. but it's the age of girls, the stage of life, and the feelings of not sure what I have to offer. It was pretty clear that God led me to it and I know He will lead me through it. It has been teaching me a lot and I can't wait to see how He pulls it all together.

I am sabotaging myself a lot less these days. Learning to be happy with me.. It's freeing. It's a struggle some days but I am learning it just doesn't matter as much anymore.

When I sat down to write this post three days ago I was in a much different place than I am right now.. ebb and flow. Story of life. The tide is low right now. I feel the ocean of His grace at my feet.


Stacey said...

This past 6 months or so has had me spinning too. Accepting my life and embracing it is something I need to do. I feel stretched to the max! But I know, like you, that it is only growing me and shaping me into something better. Here's hoping that the rest of 2013 will not be such a wild ride!

The Nilsen's Journey said...

Ah Heather! I would LOVE to go out for coffee/tea with you & catch up! Really! As I read about you being asked to speak - I just feel you have SO MUCH to share & give those girls! God's working in you & through you all the time! I am so proud of who you are friend! You inspire me often! Love!