Imagine.

"The More I run the more I love my body. Not because it's perfect, far from it. But because with every mile it is proving to me that I am capable of more than I ever thought possible"

Just like Joyce Meyer once said. "Do it afraid"

I started running late spring... I had ran before but never really loved it and then I got pregnant with Jett and kind of quit... My sweet friend Tracey introduced me to Imagine. An organization that works to be a resource for those who are dealing with Mental Illness. There are a few people in my life that this affects including me. I struggled big time with postpartum depression after the twins were born.. for those of you who have been long time readers.. you remember. There is a stigma around mental illness, suicide, depression and imagine if we lived in a world where those who were struggling could feel comfortable to ask for help and not feel judged for it... Anyways when Tracey told me they were doing a run in September I thought it was the perfect goal.. do my very first official run.
Who is this girl? That crosses my mind a lot these days... making good choices, setting goals and conquering fears.

It felt good to run... I won't say I LOVE it or anything but there are times when I am running that I am just overcome with emotion... my body is fearfully and wonderfully made. I have used and abused this body in the past and with every step I gain strength. It's amazing and nothing short of a miracle.

I have been a jumble of nerves this past week... lots of excitement but also terrified of doing this with other people.. what if I was the last one?? what if I fall?? what if I just can't do it?? I was so thankful that the Stallion and my dear friend Jenelle would be there that morning. I even got Jenelle to sign up and run too. I picked the perfect playlist, packed my shoes, picked out an outfit and was determined... to at least show up.

So thankful for these two!

Excited!

This was a pretty big deal... they put a lot of time of thoughtfulness into this race. They started the morning off with some people who shared their stories with mental illness.. sharing of loved ones lost to Suicide. Inspiration messages of hope and healing. Right before the starting bang these balloons were released.. it was beautiful. 

I stood in the pack of people and I had butterflies & goosebumps.. I don't know how many hundreds of people there were but it was alot.

The Stallion made it to one spot to watch us run by.. the route had random bands playing on corners.. it was so cool. Spectators cheering you on. This corner had a huge drum line up.. so fun!

I wanted to document what was going through my head and certain points of the race.. first of all I did NOT stop... not once. I was inspired by the people on the route, the strength my body felt and of course the music... Man at one point I wanted to stop and Christina came on with Fighter.. it was just perfect timing. :) When I rounded onto the main street knowing that I was close to the finish my emotions got the very best of me... there were no old tapes telling me I was garbage or not worth the feeling this was producing.. I thought things like I am really becoming the best me I can be. Each accomplishment comes with the decision to try. We gotta show up.
I was kind of glad I was wearing sunglasses cause I had a couple ugly cries... just really overcome. Then I passed a women in a wheelchair on the other side of the road... she was with the walkers... I remember her bib number. She rocked my world. She was smiling, she showed up.
David Crowder's song Shine came on right then... as I was minutes from the finish line...

Send me a sign
A hint, O whisper
Fill me with life
'Cause I am listening

Come break the quiet
Breathe your awakening
Bring me the light
'Cause I am fading

Surround me with the rush of angels' wings

Shine Your light so I can see You
Pull me up, I need to be near You
Hold me, I need to feel loved
Can You overcome this heart that's overcome?

You sent a sign
The hint, O whisper
Human, divine
Everyone is listening

Death laid low
Quiet in the night is stirring
All around the rush of angels

O the wonder of the greatest love has come

Shine Your light so all can see it
Lifted up, 'cause the whole world needs it
Love has come, what joy to hear it
He has overcome, He has overcome

I ran fast. I finished 8 minutes better than I have ever done before. I had a really good ugly cry when I passed the finish line. The lady at the end made me feel really special. 

 So thankful to have shared this with these two beauties. And thankful the Stallion was there to cheer me on, tell me I made him proud... and take pictures. 

 I am a runner. I am strong. Goal. Check.