whirlwind weekend

i wanted to post some pics from our whirlwind party weekend. friday night we celebrated pam's birthday at our house which was fun. we watched "Guess Who" - hilarious and ate popcorn and ice cream cake. oh saturday was Sophia's first birthday - amazing to me that she is one. she is so bright and so beautiful. i sometimes just stare at her and think how lovely she is. so cuddly and alert. she loved her baby that she got from dave & i. it was our highlight - she called her Al. sunday we had a great anniversary. relaxed and laid back. we ate sushi for lunch and went to the art gallery. neither of us had been there and louise and curtis gave us a 2 for 1 coupon. it was neat. not as much abstract art as we would have liked but it was a great time. we went home and took a nap (always nice on a rainy sunday afternoon) then we went to a great restaurant for drinks and dinner. sometimes it hits me how lucky i am to have the rest of my life to spend with this incredible man. he makes me happy. we had alot of fun together. dave was so thoughtful and made me incredible gifts. i can't to spend many more years together. building on what a fantastic year this has been. people say the first year of marriage is hard, we didn't find that and when we talked about it on sunday we both were so proud of the way we have learned to communicate. we figure thats part of the reason why. i'm so lucky to have my husband...

Happy Anniversary

well its been one year since david and i said i do. crazy how time flies. so far we've had a great day and its only 10am. david is so thoughtful. his gifts so far have all been done in my love languages.. he made a dvd full of pics of us set to music. things we've done over the year. he gave me a card, made me coffee, made me a book full of emails we have sent to each other over the past two years - the signifigance being that we have had such a good year because of the communication we have had. its adorable. i love it. and now he's making me breakfast. yummy. i'm sure there will be much more to write when this day is done. so stay tuned. when you find the right person love truely is a wonderful thing. enjoy your day. i know we will enjoy ours.

mourning

the definition of mourning is the act of sorrowing. and the defintion of sorrow is to feel or express sorrow. go figure.
ever feel like you mourn yourself or the person you thought you were or maybe its the person you thought you could be and just aren't? deep huh.. yeah well maybe thats just me these days. sick of surface and shallow. sick of cliches and well meaning words that make you want to stick your finger down your throat.
ok ok too agressive i get it. the voice in the back of my mind warns me that i am a missionary, a christian, telling me to be careful. yeah well i am human and i am desperate to be real. i don't always feel joyful and happy all the time. but i am still me and i am still moving forward. maybe even making more strides then before.
i want to be free to be me.. free to feel sad, distant, angry, passion, joy, peace.
i love life - just the thought of what all that means; its the period of duration and of your usefulness, its the sequence of physical and mental experiences, its a principle and a force that is said to underlie the distinctive quality of who you are. beautiful. how do we succeed in living life succesfully?
dangerous wonder
risky curiosity
wild abandon
daring playfulness
wide-eyed listening
irresponsible passion
happy terror
naive grace
childlike faith
Just when I get my church all sorted out, sheep from the goats, saved from the damned, hopelss from the hopeful, somebody makes a move, gets out of focus, cuts loose, and I see why Jesus never wrote systematic theology. So you and I can give thanks that the core of Christian thinking appears to be shifting from North America where people write rules and obey them, to places like Africa and Latin America where people still know how to dance.
wow.
i don't think i remember how to dance anymore, but i sure want to learn again.

love

i was thinking i never post about david and you all should really get to know him. because he is just so great. he is patient, loving, gentle, so fun, kind, thoughtful, sincere, patient and honest. i love him and he loves me. its a perfect match. he is everything i am not and that suits us both just fine.
so i plan to post more about this great guy who gets his name attatched to this blog... more to come.

birthday wishlist..

yep guys about a month and a half away from my birthday. just to help you out i have created a wishlist full of all the books i want and need for my doula library as well as certification. if you want to get me something check these titles out:
Birthing from Within: An Extra-Ordinary Guide to Childbirth Preparation by Pam England
The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer
Dr. Jack Newman's Guide to Breastfeeding by Dr.Jack Newman
Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Year by Susun S Weed
Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
The Mother of All Pregnancy Books: an All-Canadian Guide to Conception, Birth & Everything in Between by Ann Douglas
Childbirth Without Fear: The Principles and Practice of Natural Childbirth by Michel Odent
How is that for a list.. now what do i do if i get more than one of each. hmmm never thought about that....i guess i can always exchange them (maybe include a gift receipt) sweet.

lazy days

don't you just love summer.. yesterday dave and i spent the day being beach bums at Kits Beach. it was wonderful especially after a full week of finishing MA, cleaning, moving, organizing and other general chaos. after our day at the beach i made yummy beef faijitas (dave said maybe my best meal yet) and then i went over to ange, lindsey & kristina's for ange's last night here before she goes home to get ready to be a bride! it was fun. henri brought us chocolate from England (nothing like galaxy chocolate), we ate Lindsey's amazing cherry pie and she made us latte's or chai or london fogs which were awesome. we watched "Guess Who" which by the way is so funny. it was a great time. ange has joined the dark side with a new blog so check it out here. we all can't wait till the wedding which is Sept.24th in beautiful saskatchewan. good times. anyways dave is cooking me a yummy breakfast of bacon and eggs so i better go. have a great rest of your weekend!

let me introduce you

this is my friend Audrey. she is one of a kind. she is funny, thoughtful, wise, generous, loving, beautiful, has the most amazing voice, loves justice, desires to see others see themselves, envokes passion and vision.
she is my closest friend and i miss her.
she is in japan taking a peek at her inheritance.
she brings life with her wherever she goes.
i just wanted you to meet her.

What a Friend Means....
In kindergarten, your idea of a good friend was the person who gave you the red crayon when all that was left was the ugly black one.
In first grade, your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the bathroom with you and held your hand as you walked through the scary halls.
In fifth grade, your idea of a good friend was the person who save a seat on the back of the bus for you.
In ninth grade, your idea of a good friend was the person who went with you to that "cool" party thrown by a senior so that you wouldn't wind up being the only freshman there.
In tenth grade, your idea of a good friend was the person who changed their schedule so you would have someone to sit with at lunch.
Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who give you the better of two choices, holds your hand when your scared, helps you fight off those who take advantage of you, thinks of you at times when you are not there, reminds you of what you have forgotten, helps you put the
past behind you, but understands when you need to hold onto it a little longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, goes out of their way to make time for you, helps you clear up your mistakes, helps you deal with pressure from others, smiles for you when they are sad, helps you become a better person, and most importantly, loves you!
Thanks Audge for always being there for me. Now hurry home - I miss you!

memories of a glorious day

last week a good friend of ours stopped by vancouver for a day and we had the best visit. joseph is a friend we met on the wake tour and we loved him so much we asked him to preform our wedding ceremony and he did. it was amazing. we love catching up with him when we can. He has been travelling on this groovy thing called The Wave which is a tour across the whole USA. Anyways with all that being said Joseph brought us the coolest CD of wedding photos he took and it made me reminise about that day almost a year ago now. wow time flies.
heres a taste of what he brought us.

we are so lucky to have ever met joseph - he is amazing. you would all be blessed to meet him.
see you for now.

sweet surender continued

you have to read the post under this one for this one to make sense. the story starts below....
Continued....I got ready and remember walking out the door just as a cool breeze hit my face. The sun was beginning to shine warmly and I remember that there was a Celine Dion song playing on the radio as I drove through the pretty quiet streets. I got to the hospital and found your mom and dad in an assessment room. The nurse had just put on a monitor to hear your heartbeat. It was strong and loud. I then heard that your mom had worked so hard she was already dilated to 5cm. Your dad was funny and was cracking lots of jokes; the mood was light and pleasant. It wasn’t long and we met our nurse Susan who came to tell us they had a room ready for us. We walked slowly over. Your mom was so strong she had contractions and you could see she would focus all her strength and energy to them. Once in the room where we would meet you your mom got into the shower which was a nice relief. They had a stool and she sat while I let the shower head massage her back. We had problems adjusting the water temperature but finally we would get it perfect. Your mom handled contractions well in the shower. I remember the biggest change being when she would relax and let them flow over her. We sat in a lot of silence; birth is such an intimate event that requires so much reverence.
After about an hour your mom got tired and we moved to the bed where lying on her side worked the best. It was hard to lie down but we continued to focus during the contractions. The Dr. came in to see us and remarked that progress was being made and your mom was doing so well. We spent this time just resting between contractions and focusing on releasing the tension when one would come. Your mom was so strong, she passed on pain medication when it was offered and we were in tune with each other and remembering that her body was designed to have you and she was doing it. It was good to remember to focus on one contraction at a time. This was the transition phase and your mom wasn’t getting much of a break. Her uterus was working really hard to bring you into this world. At about 9am the nurse checked and her cervix had dilated to 7cm. We were all surprised at how fast your mom was progressing. She was doing everything right and you were coming quickly. Things were intense and your mom chanted “I can I can I can” over and over and I know this positive thinking was helping you come down and get ready to show us your pretty face. At 9:30 the doctor broke the bag of waters and with a gush things moved very fast. Your mom’s cervix was 10cm by now and it was time to push. We were at the finish line. Your mom did so well and was so strong during this hard time. She pushed only three times and you were born. You came so quickly and with one smooth movement you were on your mom’s tummy. It was a miracle. I had to remember to breathe as I took in all the strength that your birth created. In me as tears flowed down my cheeks. In your dad as his eyes were wide open as he watched you come out, as he wiped his tears and cut the cord. Watching your mom was what hit me the most, she looked so beautiful and I knew that she had set her mind to take each moment as it came. She did it! She was radiant as she looked at you and checked you over. You were so beautiful. Your birth day started at 9:59am on July 29th, 2005.
So there it is your story. Remember your strength as a woman, I am sure your mom will teach you many wonderful things and I hope as you read this you will remember the strength she showed as she willed her body to bring you into this world. Her love and her strength and her belief in her body’s process won in the end. Here is to life, love and lots of happiness.

sweet surender

ok guys this one is long and has been edited to protect privacy. i wrote this to one of my clients after the birth of her first baby. my third doula experience. wow... read on and you will see why.



Reverance...
The wisdom, power, glory, and unadulterated love contained in childbirth absolutely bring's me to my knees. I am struck by a new phrase, insight, or revelation that expands my knowledge about birth, and my awe for the strength, endurance and brilliance of birthing women.
This rings true of this birth story…your birth story was as beautiful as it gets.
I met your mom about a month before you were born. She is beautiful and her heart is so good. She was sweet and soft spoken as she shared with me the feelings of the unknown as she prepared for your arrival. We watched a video the first time we met which showed different families and their birth stories. I liked your mom so much especially when I saw we cried in the same parts and I loved the way she rubbed her belly as she watched these other women bring life to their babies. I was excited to be apart of your arrival.

It was Friday July 29; I sprung out of bed at the sound of my pager going off. Excitement runs through my body as hearing my pager in the middle of the night is still a new experience. I spoke with your mom on the phone; she told me that she woke up at 4am feeling the contractions starting. They were still about 10 minutes apart. She told me they felt best when she was sitting on the toilet and I had heard that before. I asked her to time them for another half hour and see what happened. I also told her to eat a good meal as this next part might take awhile and once in the hospital she may not eat again. I spoke with your dad and made sure he was making her drink lots of water and pee lots too. I hung up the phone with the promise that they would call me again in a half hour. I didn’t feel much like sleeping anymore but went to lie down.
The phone rang again at about 5am and I could tell from your mom’s voice that the contractions were stronger at one point she even put the phone down and I could hear her focusing on what she was feeling. The power of a women’s body is incredible, I was already so proud of her.
We decided it was time to meet at the hospital.....
heehee you have to wait till next time for more. stay tuned.
(really the post didn't allow me enough room for more.)

Love Mercy. Seek Justice. Walk Humbly.

On the weekend we got to visit the church I called home for the years I lived in Seattle. Its an amazing church only a few years old. It seeks to meet the needs of this post modern generation as well as the community that surrounds them that seemingly have no where else to go. When Dave and I read their mission statement on the church bulletin it really struck us and we thought hey isn't this what its supposed to be about?
"Quest is the expression of a vision and dream of a church where truth is sought, mystery acknowledged, compassion and justice embodied, culture and arts engaged, creativity and innovation fostered, diversity and multiethnicity embraced, authenticity and community pursued, and sharing the love of Christ is the great cause."
Check out Quest

sigh

somehow this makes things lots better...

fRuStRaTiOn

i'm beginning to wonder what it all means. you know that feeling when you get so excited about something and you think oh thanks God you really are listening and then BAM - dissapointment. yeah that feeling. i know you all know it. lets be honest here it happens more than we would like.
so i had this groovy job interview set up for today - postpartum doula stuff. an awesome opportunity to get some training and work for the ministry of health here. i worked all day on a resume.... get home and listen to my messages....cancelled. yep the whole thing just like that. no more program, not enough interest. over just like that.
yeah yeah feed me the sappy christian line that it will all work out and i'll be ok. i know i know. but for now it really SUCKS!
its been tough lately trying to figure out what the future holds. dave wants to go to winkler, i want to stay here. we both want to see each other prosper in our dreams for our future but when they are happening in different places its hard. today i think i would give in to him if he asks me. ready to throw in the towel and i just kind of want to hang out with my mom and see lisa and hold william and maybe have my own baby.
i should probably go before i say more things i will regret later but hey this is what life is about keeping it real. i'm so tired of being fake and a happy shiny christian - the word of the day is vulnerability.

Sunny Seattle

Dave and I drove down to Seattle for the weekend and had a great time connecting with old friends. We spent time with Ben and Mel and Jaya the first night which was awesome. Sometimes you forget how much you love people until you are with them again and then you leave and you miss them even more.

We also got to see lots of other YWAMers which was tons of fun. Nic and Jana were out and it was great to see them. We got to meet Zara whom you saw pics of on my blog a few weeks ago. Sunday night all the girls went out for dinner to celebrate. I got to go lots of places I missed going too. It was fantastic.

We also got to hang out with my friend Zadok who is in this ridiculously good band called Mercir Check it out! It was awesome to see them play as I was there in the beginning when the band was just an idea. I felt so proud and they seriously rocked. Here are some pics from the show.
It was such a great weekend!

more cuties...

just thought it was time i posted another cutie... two actually. daves sister julia and our niece zoe joy!

we're off to seattle for the weekend to enjoy some time with friends. its nice to get away two weekends in a row! lucky us. hope everyone enjoys their weekend!!

second time just as good as the first....

Introducing Aiden Zachary Bryson. July 19th @ 3:31pm. 7lbs 8oz 51cm. Life - what a beautiful thing to be apart of. Oh the absolute breath taking experience of new life. It was an exhilarating time. Aiden's mum portrayed the essence of strength and beauty as she willed her baby to existance. I'm in awe of the honour I get every time I get to be with parents as they welcome their baby for the first time.

Seeing a new baby makes you sure that God is behind it all!

So go and be you and be a bearer of life today in whatever area that means for you! Live full!

Whistler

What a fabulous time we had in Whistler. It was so beautiful. Its amazing to be right in the mountains - magestic is the right word!
We did some walking, hanging out in the village, lots of enjoying the pool!
We had fun with friends and re-learned what it feels like to relax after being exhausted from the program.

It was such a good restful weekend but hey back to the grind!

Whistler

wow. my first time to whistler. its magnificent. the mountains and trees - everything is so lush. its been a great relaxing weekend so far. we came up here for the Mission Adventure staff retreat. people keep commenting on how wierd it is to just do nothing all day long. we are fore sure not used to that. anyways i hope to post more pictures when we get back to the city. i'll post more then.
enjoy your weekend!

The Eve Project

The strong and beautiful symbol of LIFE in Japanese. This is for my amazing friends Audrey and Rachel who are embarking on a journey! They left for Japan today where they are going to spend two months just pursuing their passions. Japan is Audrey's destiny and its so exciting to see how they got to this point. They have named their trip Eve's Project. Eve means life and they surely will be bringers of life wherever they go. Very exciting. I will miss them but am sure that God has them right where He wants them.
Its mostly all about the journey anyways.
Love ya Girls!

Beautiful Babies

It seems I know the most beautiful babies (or in Zara's case her parents)
What a lovely thing to watch Sophia grow... Purely God's gift!
I love Babies!
(L) Zara Kate Rupp - April 05
(R) Sophia Joanna Jubilee - 1 year old on August 27/05!! Time Flies