twenty twelve

well hello there twenty twelve.

oh man I have been thinking of this blog post for days. ever since my one little word for 2012 found me a couple weeks ago. I tend to start to think about it come December and this year was hard. I told Dave that I wanted to use Shine again which was the word for 2011. I mean it was a year where my word totally took shape and defined who I was. But I knew that there was something else for me...

See the amazing thing about choosing a word is how it will intertwine with your life. It can be a thought, or a feeling, or even an emotion. It can be something tangible or intangible. The key is to find something that has personal meaning for you. Open yourself up to the possiblities. I find it interesting that like last year my word didn't mean as much to me at the time.. it's like it found me and my heart spoke to me and I grew into it this last year. Doing things I never thought imaginable. I really feel like I was shining. Not always brightly but it helped shape me. I will be carrying last years word with me this year. I know I will.

My word for this year is AUTHENTICITY.

I found this and it describes it all... it's the desire I feel pulsing through my veins... It's going to be printed out and found all over my house. I want to wear this on my sleeve this year.

Caretake this moment

Immerse yourself in it's particulars

Respond to this person, this challenge, this deed.

Quit evasions

Stop giving yourself needless trouble.

It is time to really live;

to fully inhabit the situation you happen to be in NOW.

~epictetus

merry christmas

From our family to you. I pray you find magic in the discovery of the reason for the season.
The end of 2011 for me has been filled with reflection and discovering who I am in the midst of some pain and lots of beauty. I hope to be back in 2012 with more to say and as I reveal my one little word for 2012 I hope to be able to express myself more clearly and more deeply than ever before.

Out of clutter find Simplicity

From Discord find Harmony

In the middle of Difficulty lies Opportunity.

Thanks Albert.

i rise

You may write me down in history With your bitter, twisted lies,

You may trod me in the very dirt

But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?

Why are you beset with gloom?

'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells

Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,

With the certainty of tides,

Just like hopes springing high,

Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?

Bowed head and lowered eyes?

Shoulders falling down like teardrops.

Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?

Don't you take it awful hard

'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines

Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness,

But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?

Does it come as a surprise

That I dance like I've got diamonds

At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame

I rise Up from a past that's rooted in pain

I rise I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,

Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear

I rise Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear

I rise

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,

I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

I rise

I rise

I rise.

~Maya Angelou

delayed

I want to blog. I really do. I just don't know what to blog. Life is so busy these days and I am trying to do the important stuff. Not that blogging isn't important it just seems to fall low on the priority list.

So just to keep you in the loop. Here are some happenings as of late...

Halloween 2011 was spent with two superheros and a frog prince.

We had a special visit by Grandma D and cousin Zoe. It was a fabulous time.

Love these DiFrancesco cheeks...

They came equipped with Abuelo's train track. HUGE hit. Noah is totally into it.

My weeks are pretty full with work, bootcamp, a course the Stallion and I started at the new church we have been attending and you know being a mom and a wife and trying to be a good friend... looking forward to taking December off... well other than the mom, wife, friend thing...

Also planning for a wonderfully epic Holiday Open House. More details to come.

Happy Friday.

favourite things.

I thought about the people in my life and how they have impacted me the last year. I want to be intentional about making sure my friends know how much they mean to me. I sat down with Dave one night and said I wanted to honour those who have walked this journey with me the last few years.. I wondered how I would be able to do that. I said to him.. "Could I get them all in one room and tell them how important they are to me? I couldn't do that could I?" He shrugged at me and said "Why Not?" Yea why not?? So I concocted a plan. Thanks to Pinterest I read about a great party idea and thought it would be the perfect way to get this unique bunch of women together. I sent out a Save the date email back in September and hid all the address's so no one would know who was invited or even why... it was fun. Cause man did that drive some people CRAZY. I created an invitation and invited these precious women to my Favourite things party. They were instructed to bring three of their favourite things ($10 and under) and a favourite appetizer or dessert. The anticipation was too much.

I spent a lot of time getting things ready. I wanted it to be special. After all this was a pretty important crowd and I wanted to them to know how much they meant to me. I made gift bags so they could take the new favourite thing they would get home. When they got to my house each one wrote there own name on three slips of paper which would be used for our favourite things part of the evening.

I can't even begin to tell you how special the evening was to me. Here in one room were 13 women who have motivated me, inspired me, cried with me, laughed with me, supported and loved me. I am honoured that each of them has allowed me to call them my friends. We had a great time eating amazing food and drinking wine and other sparkly drinks. We sipped tea and coffee and it was rarely a quiet room. I got to share why each one was there and what they meant to me. We went around and shared our favourite things. Each person then picked out three names and they got to go home with their special thing. It was neat to see what each person picked and the idea went over really well. I wish I would have gotten a pic of everyone's favourite things.

Another one of my favourite projects for the night was the Thankful Tree. It turned out way better than I imagined. On each card was a special note for each girl just trying to express in words what they meant to me.

The whole night turned out better than I could have ever imagined and when everyone was gone I sat in the quiet of my dining room and wept... for all the times I complain about the circumstances of my life or I have a bad day. Each and everyone of my friends is always there for me. I am so blessed.

I encourage you to honour those in your life that have helped you through, held your hand as you felt you were drowning, made you laugh when all you wanted to do was cry and prayed for you when you couldn't see the way out.

I can't wait to have another favourite things party next year!!

Thanks to Lisa V for the amazing party pics. Other than the first 2. :)

thanksgiving.

I am trying here really trying to get motivated to give you a good post. The Stallion told me last night I was neglecting this blog and that is SO true.. I just feel so overwhelmed when I sit down to write that the words just don't come. So instead I am taking a page from my new favourite book. To write down what I am thankful for right now. Struggling to answer the question how do I find Joy in the midst of deadlines, yucky financial stuff and the daily grind... Trying to express gratitude in the midst of the shitty things because really that can only be the place I find Joy... in being thankful.

And if I allow myself to remember that perspective is everything... I have SO so so much to be thankful for. There is so much more going on in this world beyond me... hey that's one thing to be thankful for...

2 curly haired five year olds who inspire me every day and remind me that they are the best thing.

My strait haired 16 month old who is curious, fast, funny and sweet. When he wraps his chubby arms around my neck and nuzzles in I fall in love.. again.. every time.

My Stallion... oh where to start. Thankful for a man who loves me in spite of myself... and boy does he LOVE me.

Family - each one of them.

My bootcamp ladies - sheesh these women are AMAZING. it is an honour to do this with them. I couldn't be prouder to be apart of something so much bigger than the exterior.

Ruffles and Doilies

Teal & Grey (especially together)

Pinterest - a daily escape and an overflowing fountain of creativity.

David's Tea - Pumpkin Chai

My morning coffee routine... everything about it.

Women - yep I am surrounded by some pretty fabulous ones. My friends mean ALOT to me.

Strength - mine. those around me. God's. Sometimes STRONG is just what you have when you've used up all your weak.

Life is like riding a bicycle in order to keep your balance you must keep moving.

Happy Thanksgiving.

hi

have you missed me? i have missed you. i will be back soon with some real stuff.

for now i'll leave you with proof that i am a lucky girl.

new adventures.

Such a proud mama. These boys are amazing. I can't believe I get to experience all this with them. They have officially begun their 13 year adventure in school... maybe more, maybe not. Tonight I told Ari he could do whatever he wanted when he grew up.. he said he'd like to drive a delivery truck. I think he'd make a GREAT one!!

On Friday we had our "Interview" more like a one on one with the teacher. She told me she was so worried she wouldn't be able to tell them apart all year and they may have to wear name tags all year.. I told her that was fine but I didn't think it would take her long to recognize the differences.. after our interviews she assured me it wouldn't .. they are SO different even amidst all their similarities.

These pics were taken on that day...

Then today they went to their official first day of Kindergarten. They were so excited and happily waved and say Bye Mom as I dropped them off outside the school. They eagerly got in line. I love them and can't wait to see the who they will become.

I wanted to do something I could recreate the first day of school each year so I thought it would be fun to ask them to name three things they like right now. This is what they came up with. It's perfect!

take heart

There is a light

It burns brighter than the sun

He steals the night

And casts no shadow

There is hope

Should oceans rise and mountains fall

He never fails

So take heart

Let His love lead us through the night

Hold on to hope

And take courage again

In death by love

The fallen world was overcome

He wears the scars of our freedom

In His Name

All our fears are swept away

He never fails

All our troubles

And all our tears

God our hope

He has overcome

All our failure

And all our fear

God our love

He has overcome

All our heartache

And all our pain

God our healer

He has overcome

All our burdens

And all our shame

God our freedom

He has overcome

All our troubles

And all our tears

God our hope

He has overcome

All our failures

And all our fear

God our love

He has overcome

God our justice

God our grace

God our freedom

He has overcome

God our refuge

God our strength

God is with us

He has overcome

DIY love

It's been awhile since I added some house loving for you. We have not been big on projects this summer but we did mange to do one...

I found an old fireplace surround/mantle on PVO back in June for basically free. I can't find a pic of it... but here is a peak at the color it was before... (yes and he is so cute!)

with some paint it was transformed.. then came the question what do we do with the hole in the middle. That's where pinterest came in. I spend way too much time over there... It's just a whole lot of lovely eye candy. I saw a bunch of stuff I liked..

Source: abowlfulloflemons.blogspot.com via Heather on Pinterest

I still love the way the mantle is arranged on this one.

or this...

Source: theshabbychiccottage.net via Heather on Pinterest

originally we were going to attempt this...

Source: younghouselove.com via Heather on Pinterest

or this...

Source: jenniferleephotographeeblog.blogspot.com via Heather on Pinterest

But then we remembered the old window we had sitting up against the shed. Insert my LOVE of maps and this is where we ended up...

We still need to put stuff in the shelves and the pictures above are going to be changed around. I'd love something more dramatic on the mantle.. Over all I am happy with how it turned out.

evolution of a marriage

If, out of time, I could pick one moment and keep it shining, always new, of all the days that I've lived, I'd pick the moment I met you.

08.28.04

one year

two years

3 years.

4 years

5 years

6 years

7 years

better than ever

stranger.

There are just so many things going on in my head... I'm often afraid of how they will sound on my blog.. The thoughts are usually deep and then people think you are sad or depressed or they feel sorry for you when in reality they are just deep thoughts.. not always bad.

In some ways this has been an emotionally draining summer. Just life stuff. Again not always all bad. In alot of ways this summer has been one of the best I can remember. So again there goes the topsy turvy part of life. One minute your up.. the next your down.

We have been struggling to find a community... not only a church but people too..

Relationships are hard and we really want to go deeper.

I have always been the pursuer... in most of my relationships. It's exhausting. I totally understand that we are all different. Some days it's so confusing... do they not call because they would rather not hang out or is it something else. Am I too eager? Are my kids annoying? I find if I don't call I'm lonely. We have felt this way as a couple for awhile... we invite people over and wait for an invite... yep mostly still waiting. So is it us?

We figure maybe if we find a church we can really feel like we fit in then maybe we can make a community of friends from there?? We've only really visited one place which I really like. In so many ways... and of course there is never going to be the perfect place but sometimes when that one big thing that you are passionate about is missing.. it's hard to get past that. I told Dave I don't want to drag my kids around from place to place... it just doesn't feel fair to them. You would think in a smaller community with a million churches it would be easier....

I went to work today... again I felt kind of like a stranger. I mean it was awkward.. nothing was mine anymore. I didn't even have a desk to sit at.. I walked to the supply room to get a pen to use for the morning and then put it back when I was done. I know it will get better but part of me wanted to be home in my comfy yoga pants and a tank top fetching snacks and playing outside with the boys.

See this went all depressing on you.. and yet I feel hopeful. I mean I love where I am going I just wish it wasn't quite as lonely. I see great things on the horizon. I am feeling stronger than ever and am so excited to see how fall will turn out... big things. Back to work, Kindergarten, Bootcamp... a whole lot of awesome.

Can't leave you without a photo... Lisa took some family shots for us the other night... See how blessed I am...

stronger.

As you all know I am a huge fan of TheTysonMethod... I have been doing bootcamps and a part of the online program since November. I have also been training this summer and am officially a Tyson Method Trainer. Eeeks.. Can you believe it??

I have had my ups and downs but have more confidence now than ever before. I feel strong. It's incredible. It's been life changing. A couple Saturday's ago Charles & Tami (Tyson) hosted a fitness competetion. A fun family day where we competed in an individual obstacle course and did some team tug of wars.

team winkler

It was scary. The course was INTENSE... Unlike anything I have ever done. And after i did it I can safely say way harder than it looks. At the end of my go at it.. which seriously felt like forever. When I was pulling in that 200lb rope I was sure I had been there for at least 5 minutes. At the end Charles yells "you have the best time so far!" WHAT??!!! It was crazy.

I did end up 3rd place. Me!

yep 200lb rope.

It's been an incredible journey so far and I can't wait to start in September. I'd love to have you in class!! Seriously you will NEVER regret taking the time to do this. It's amazing what it can do when you make changes.

So I'd love to have you all come to bootcamp this September. Starting Sept. 12th!! Please msg me for more info. You will never regret it!!

wordless wednesday - brothers.

lots of summer loving

catching up...

Our camera was doing funky things and I couldn't download pics for awhile. I finally got them on here and now I will do some catching up... Don't have the energy for words at the moment anyways so some pictures will have to do...

So proud of my guys. They passed Level 1 this year. They were awesome!