one little word.

Well darkness only exists so that the stars can shine, darling.

I have chosen a word for a few years. You can read about them: 2008, 2009, and for some reason I didn't blog about my word for 2010. Although I did choose one around my birthday that signified my year so you can see that here. I guess with moving and pregnancy life got away from me.

This year my word found me. It reminds me to live it and to let it surround me. to let it guide me. to embrace it fully unashamed and with wholeness. This year I will Shine. and not only will I Shine but I will let the whole world see.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us"

Marianne Williamson.

living gift

this christmas was rich. i was given many beautiful, thoughtful gifts. there was a special gift. it not only suited me perfectly but it filled my soul. my beautiful friend lisa gave me a blessing. the gift of empowerment was given in my name.

"know as "survivors", the women in MCC's Pobitra program receive much more than handicraft training. They are offered an environment of respect and support where they are able to begin new lives. Victims of Bangladesh's sex trade, the women take part in an eight-month vocational training program that also educates about health and hygiene, mental health, human rights, peace and literacy. The programs name Pobitra means "holiness, sanctity, the fresh cleanliness of a newborn." To join the program, women make a public commitment to embrace new opportunities and on completion, are given a blue sari to symbolize their rebirth. Many of the program's graduates produce handmade natural soaps at Sacred Mark, an enterprise developed by MCC in Bangladesh.

Your gift of empowerment gives women in Bangladesh the capacity to start over, learn vocational skills and find new sources of employment."

Beautiful. Perfect. Thankful. And wrapped was this lovely bar of soap handcrafted by women in the red light district who have made a clean break from their previous lifestyle and have chosen soapmaking as an alternative source of income.

"O let me wear secretly... the sacred mark impressed by your own hand"

What were some of your favorite gifts this year?

Jett.

discover. your world. stay tuned later this week for a post dedicated just to this guy.

handmade

I gave quite a few home made gifts this year. I so enjoy the process and of course the end result. One of my new favorite things is stenciling with freezer paper. The possibilities are endless! I am in love with the whole Silhouette thing and decided that's what I wanted to do to give to my parents for Christmas ..

It really was simple. I took pictures of the boys from the side.

My super good looking assistant (the stallion) traced each image onto the freezer paper and then using a knife cut around the image. The hardest part was finding PLAIN white tea towels. I searched everywhere. I finally found a pack of bar towels at Home Outfitters. I took the image and ironed it on. This is where the genius of freezer paper comes into play. It's awesome.

I found spray fabric paint in black and sprayed it on. I took the stencil off pretty much right away and then I allowed it to dry for a few days.

After they were done I sewed on some ribbon to the bottom to make them just a bit more special. I am super happy with the way they turned out. I made a set for the in laws too.

And come on look at that first one.. that chubby chin. So cute.

Bon Noel.

hope is what we long for. hope is what was given.

merry christmas, love us.

all i want for christmas

two shepherds

loved seeing them in the program at church. they memorized their lines and were super good.

add in a magi and an innkeeper and you have some good buddies.

the gift of giving

I love Christmas. I love holidays. I love all the preparation that goes into it. Its like that for me in most holidays actually..

One of my favorite parts of the holiday's is giving gifts... not only picking out that perfect gift for that special someone but I take most joy in the packaging.. I have spent hours in my craft room this holiday season.. doing a lot of homemade gi

fts.. and working on the perfect packaging to go with my gifts. I love that I am the girl that my friends love getting cards and packages from.. just to see how they are presented.

I also enjoy seeing how a gift comes together.. it was like that this year as I picked out gifts for those I loved... picking out special things that they would love... (well hopefully). I love when someone thinks of something special for me... . What is your favorite part of the holidays?

600

I thought I would have something really good for my 600th post. But I promise to do better for 601.. it's been a rough week of sickness around here...

So for now. Here's how we nap these days. Only with a tent.

the vintage pearl

you don't even want to know about the week i am having and i don't want to blog about it so for something completely happy.. gocheck out The Vintage Pearl's blog.. they are giving away something GOOD :)

i love this stuff. so many beauties to choose from. some of my fave's are...

layered mother of pearl

vintage lovebirds

a heart for africa

layers of pearl

expectation

Over the years I have learned that my own worst enemy is myself. I most often have unrealistic expectations on myself. I have been going through a bible study with a group of Women called Breaking Free and have been learning so much about who I am, where I come from and why I am the way I am. And how I can break free.

Most of the time my expectations let me down which leads to me pressing play on the old tapes. You know we all have them... they probably all sound a bit different but they are there. Mine range from why try, your not good enough, no one likes you, oh and then my mix usually has a little of your fat just for good measure. I don't say this to feel sorry for myself.. I am actually finding it much easier to be free and press the stop button pretty quickly. I try not to stay there because it's not who I am anymore.

Here I am 31 years old. Wife. Mother to three great boys. I have spent a good chunk of my life believing God.. I have even served him faithfully in missions for 6 years. I have felt close to God and I have felt VERY far from God... The last 4 years have been the hardest... Motherhood has been the hardest. I have put the hardest expectations on myself in this area. I've said it before.. never in my life have I felt so judged... we as Mom's do that. We compare our kids and our parenting styles and often it leads to more pain.

Yesterday we dedicated Jett to God. I've been thinking and praying about it alot lately... what that means. Like I said before I have believed in God for most of my life. It's been a personal journey... but only in the last few years have I been learning to believe and know God. To know Him... to trust Him. Sheesh those are really different things. In the last little while I have felt closer to knowing Him than ever before. I feel Him grabbing my heart again. I trust Him... We spoke these words over Jett that he would be rooted and established in love, that he would grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ. and that he would know this love always. That's what I want too. For them, for me.

My days have been filled with struggles lately - Jett dislikes sleep.. and is near impossible to get to sleep without lots of screaming. It's been hard to see the good stuff these days... but tonight as I held his warm body in my arms and felt his warm whispy milk breath on my cheek, his soft chubby hand tangled in my hair, as I smelled his fresh skin and sang soft lullaby's in his ear... I was filled with expectation of what's to come... for all of us.

random

"You are aware of the beating of your heart…The extraordinary thing that is about to happen is matched only by the extraordinary moment just before it happens. Advent is the name of that moment.” — Frederick Buechner, Whistling in the Dark

hi. just a couple things. it's been a busy few weeks.. does not seem to be slowing down anytime soon. but amidst it all i am just full of new clarity and remembering to take it all in... to slow down. do a few things and do them well. i'm reminded daily how my kids just love to be at home and with me.. i don't need to fill up their schedules. it only makes us crazy.

i am a week away from bootcamp being over.. i am really sad. i have loved doing it these last few weeks.. and seeing my clothes fit better is nice.

sweet, sweet Greta is here. i am so happy. she is beautiful.

we are doing a simple christmas around here... not many gifts. our kids have so much already. i do have some things we want to do with them that centre around helping others instead.

you must check THIS out. oh my.

just cause he is so cute. we brought back the swaddle.. it seems to be working.

oh and tlp photography is doing a 12 days giveaway.. go check it out. you may see yours truly in the near future ;)

I hope you see the beauty of waiting and anticipation this advent season. It's a beautiful thing.