four

How can it be 4 years ago? Life changed and we were blessed with the arrival of two little tiny human beings... There arrival was early and not the perfect way to start but they grabbed hold of our hearts and away we went.

I have been looking back at photos from those early days and it's all a blur. I don't have many clear memories of the first little while. I was in survival mode. So were they.

Ari you came first and when I first laid eyes on you in the NICU we instantly knew you were you. You had a cpap machine hooked up to you and it made you have this tiny little growl with each breath. Your name means Lion and you have lived up to it ever since.

Noah you came second even though the whole pregnancy you were meant to come first... just relaxed and not worried about anything.. your name means peace and rest and just like your Daddy you also live up to your name.

Being a mom hasn't been easy for me and that first year was a tough one on all of us. I am thankful that you have as much grace for me as God does. I do love being your mom... Tonight after you finally fell asleep (that is a battle right now) I went up and stared at you both for a while.. I can't believe you are mine. That I was trusted to be your mom. I am so lucky to have you. I am full.

Ari - Your energy and your enthusiasm for life is contagious. I know we don't always see eye to eye.. probably cause we are so alike. You are a joy to be with. You love playing outside and are thriving now that it's warm. You are unafraid to try new things. You get frustrated unlike anyone I have ever met.. and are hard to reason with in the midst of it. I want to keep working on communicating with you so you know I am really listening to you.

Noah - You are a sweet soul with so much depth of character. You are outgoing and introverted all in one.. again so like your dad. You like to cuddle and you give love out of a pure place. You have a hard time communicating when you don't get what you want and have a hard time pin pointing what exactly that is. I want to commit to listening and asking better questions.

At four you are loving:

-Cars/Trucks/Front end loaders - basically anything that vrooms

-Crafts - painting, play dough, scissors and glue

-Being outside - wearing flip flops, riding the gator, the sandbox and any jumpoline you can get your little legs on. You also love riding your bike and especially long trips to the school park with Daddy... We are so proud of you.

- You have lots of friends and love talking about especially your friends at Shirley's. Often while in your own little world you even take on their names. It's not unusal to have a Carys and a Jordan running around...

-You love your papa - he is number 1 in your books. Especially when he picks you up in his big truck. Grandma is up there too - especially for fruit bites and gum ;)

-You have a special relationship with your dad right now and you can't wait to be with him. He's pretty amazing!!

-You love singing and have a great memory for songs. Favorites right now are: Yellow Submarine, ABC's, Go tell it on the mountain, Alive Alive and Jesus Loves Me.

-Another favorite friend is Ruby - it's always a good day when you can play with her.. whether it be at IceBurg in the dirt or at church or anywhere else. She holds a special spot in your hearts.

-You love each other and I am always amazed at how much you care for each other. You can finish each other's sentances and when push comes to shove you would do just about anything to make the other one happier. You fight of course but it never lasts long. I found this old picture of you and not only is your hair amazing it shows how much you love each other.

I took this one this morning... so classic of what goes on here on a day to day basis.

Ari & Noah I am so happy to be your mom and so happy to have four wonderful years of you. I love watching you grow up and can't wait for more. Thank you for being patient with me. I know you will be the best big brothers around.

Love Mom.