I often refer to myself as drowning.. on the bad days it's the one thing that describes how I feel. Of course I have never actually drowned but I can only imagine...
Parenting for me often feels like drowning. I am not saying I am a bad mom or looking for validation in that department.. I am a firm believer that we all do our best with what we have and I know that I love my kids and they love me... but parenting and learning how to raise good kids is overwhelming for me. I find it hard to discipline, especially the follow through part. I would rather the whining just stop and often find myself doing whatever it takes to make that part happen. I gave it some good thought yesterday as to why I feel defeated by almost 4 year olds. I think it's because often I feel I have already failed and it's too late.. I have let it go for so long and they have developed bad habits so I kind of feel stuck.
Spring break was harder than I thought.. we fought alot. We had many many time outs and we cried some too (mostly me).
At the end of the day when I tuck my little ones into bed and we pray for a good sleep and we are thankful that we get another day to start again.. I am reminded of grace and how much they have for me... There is a line in a song that I love that says "If Grace were an ocean we'd all be sinking." It's going to be my new mantra... instead of looking at things like I'm drowning I need to be reminded of that.
6 comments:
Totally the way I feel most days as well. What a great reminder. Thanks for being honest, my friend :) Have a blessed Easter.
Heather - I think you just validate a point that starts when you become a parent - those feelings of guilt and insecurity come out with that baby! Easy to analyze others when you do not have children - but when you do... wow!! Your view changes. I agree so much with your line that we all do the best with what we have. Raising a child is difficult because you constantly are trying to figure out what you think is best for the child and you - and you are trying to SURVIVE!! Hope this normalizes for you as it did for me. Hope you have a happy weekend!
Do you have any idea how many nights I've cried tears onto my pillow after looking at my girls sleeping because I am so thankful that the morning will bring a new day - a fresh start - and a chance to be a better mom than the one I just was? So grateful for new beginnings each morning.
Thanks for sharing this post Heather! I think we all feel this to some degree! I'm SO thankful for God's grace in parenting!
You are not alone my dear! We just drove 30 hrs (twice) with 3 kids. Challenging to say the least!
I had tried to post this earlier, but I don't think it worked.
I admire your honesty. I'm praying for you and your boys. Hope things return to normal this week.
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