i'd love a good icicle..

the boys discovered a new love for tofu and its soft goodness.

how come it seems like everyone especially every kid is sick. no exceptions here.. we all have been battling colds at our house but the boys sure seem to have the rough end of the deal.. after our night at the hospital with noah and croup it has gotten a bit better but they are having a rough time sleeping with all the coughing and congestion. i took them in today to the clinic and got them a prescription from my amazing doctor (who just happened to be in the walk in clinic). hopefully that will help.

did you ever eat icicles when you were a kid.. remember winters when you would get out of school put your ski pants and boots on and walk home slowly falling into snow drifts a big icicle in hand. anyways as i was driving around i spotted a little girl doing just that not a care in the world probably on her way home for an after school snack. simple and so good.

today had its ups and downs.. more downs than ups but lets recount the good stuff first. had moms program at church this morning which was great.. i always really enjoy it and having childcare for two hours is fabulous! after i succeeded all alone bringing both boys to the clinic.. luckily its been a nice day and so getting the stroller out was easier.. side note.. to any twins moms... i wish i would have bought one of these right off the bat.. it would have made life so much easier.. i had the chance to buy one used in Vancouver and am kicking myself. so we ended up buying a tandem stroller that accommodates car seats just last month (for our winters its a necessity if you want to get out) so now i have four strollers.. all good, all serving some other purpose. anyways back to my day. it always feels like a huge triumph when i do something like this all by myself. we ended up at the clinic right before lunch which fyi is empty so we got in right aways...
got home and the mayhem began.. i fed the boys which was ok but they were so tired not having had there morning nap so a bit fussy. i had to get there prescription so i called my SIL and she came by and i ran to walmart for the longest wait EVER. was so hungry and decided last minute to pick up McDonald's in the drive through.. well actually i contemplated it for a while and went back and forth and with no cars in the line up decided to go for it. ordered got to the window to find out i was the 15th car and got my lunch FREE. yep some random thing they are doing. felt special like it was just for me...so here in my story if you will notice from my above comment the boys had not slept yet today and when i got home they were so overtired. i tried for the next 2 hours to try to get them to sleep.. put down, scream, pickup, rock, put down, scream, pick up, nurse, burp, medicate, rock, put down, scream.. ahh leave them there for a while.. get so fed up i load them back up in the car and proceed to drive around.. and guess what within seconds they are fast asleep.. so what else could i do but pick up a coffee and drive around with the window down just a bit and sun streaming down on me.

i'm tired but alive and hoping tomorrow will be a better day.. got to talk with a good friend from Vancouver who just had her second baby girl.. that was a highlight. and then when my husband got home he suggested we pick up dinner. good man.

9 months and sick...

well my boys are 9 months old as of yesterday. its incredible that we have come this far. looking back i am not sure i ever thought we would make it this far. they seemed to have turned a corner in there sleep (although they do not sleep through the night) but i don't get out of bed much anymore which is amazing. we decided to seperate them into different rooms right off the bat when we put them down for bed at 7pm. so Ari sleeps upstairs in a playpen and Noah sleeps down in his crib. we decided that instead of rushing in when they whimper and cry to give them a pacifier we would just wait and see. sure enough within minutes they sooth themselves back down and thats it. its amazing how when they were together we would never just let them be because you were terrified of the other one waking up. so we are happier and they seem happier. they also seem to be weaning themselves off there third nap which in some ways sucks because they are so tired in the latter part of the afternoon.. but as long as they are entertained with puffed wheat we seem to be in pretty good shape. they have started to push themselves backwards when on there tummies - its must be frustrating because they are always reaching for whats in front of them and getting farther and farther away.
our whole family has been battling colds - runny noses, sore throats and then... last night noah was not sleeping well. super congested and all of a sudden had this awful barking cough and he was struggling to breath. his whole body was rattling... i tried to nurse him but he couldn't swallow. he had a high fever and his breathing seemed to be getting worse. so at 3am i packed him up and we went to the ER. they diagnosed him with croup they gave him some saline and some steriod medication through an air mask. today he seems to be doing better. the cough he produces is quite scary but it doesn't look like he's in pain like it did last night.
so that was our adventure. hopefully it will be gone soon. my parents are gone for 10 days and that always worries me. i rely on my mom so much - shes always so helpful and keeps me sane. i will miss her. well i gotta run. the dishes seem to be piling high and my floor is always full of puffed wheat.

truth

i have a confession.. i have believed a lie. not just one lie but many. i have made lies feel at home in my life, in my heart and have often let them dictate what i do or don't do. i have always known this but have recently begun to discover more how they are polluting my judgement, my common sense, my identity and my role as a mother, wife, homemaker, friend, sister, daughter and just human being. i am tired of believing lies about myself. tired of the way it drags me down. a friend recently emailed me some truths about myself that really hit home. how often do we think about the good things that make up our self. it wasn't even the really nice things she said it was the realization that if i am not dwelling on these truths i am definitly believing the lies. i can so easily get down on myself or feel yucky with my increasing saggy body, or bad hair, or lack of a nice wardrobe.. but those things don't make up me. i can easily say to myself that this person doesn't like me, why would they like me.. when really i am just giving in to that lie. anyways all this to say i want to challange you and me to start accepting truth for what it is and start believing... it won't happen all at once for sure but imagine if we start even just a little... i printed out the email my friend sent me cause it really impacted me and each day i look at it and am encouraged to begin to believe the truth. so to begin (and hopefully ignite something in your life) i will go out on a limb (a small skinny limb whose branches feel like they will snap and break off) here are some truths about me (taken from above mentioned email - with some minor editing)...

1 - you have an awesome and compelling devotion to quality and excellence - we are talking with our staff now about NOT waiting til the last minute to organize something but take the time to do it well - flying by the seat of your pants is NOT cool all the time, but can actually be unnecessary stress - you were a huge advocate in that area here.

2 - You are thoughtful and generous - I received a really cool gift from you yesterday! Very fun stuff. Thank you thank you thank you - It's awesome.

3 - You care about social justice issues. We are currently unveiling a new strategy to develop clean water in Africa. I always think about you when things like this come up because you are an amazing teacher about things that really matter to you - you are especially good at educating others

4. You love babies and women!

5. You are an excellent friend. You know how to encourage others. You always have time to be thinking about others. I am amazed that you find the time at all to send me a present.

6. You are creative - I love the card you made me...and the first thing that came to mind when I looked at is that i don't know if YOU know how creatively gifted you are - You should be selling your cards for millions. They're waaaay better than hallmark!

7. You are vulnerable and open - You care about truth not just the surface - you have depth and wish to connect on that level.

8. You are an amazing servant - I mean look at you now!!! MOM of twins. Need I say more?

9. You are willing to try new things. Remember when you went to Cambodia?


so come on what are you waiting for? i dare you to come up with truths about your self and see if we can start a trend of believing them instead of letting the stupid crap we suffer with overcome us.

Passion for Puffed Wheat

Snack time is our new favorite thing.. the boys LOVE puffed wheat. They jam it in there mouth by the handful. No teeth required.

my milk making machine

people have been asking about breastfeeding; i don't just mean in general but when it comes to me and my decision and whats been going on.. i left you all wondering what was going on.. i'll get to all that. the boys are good. they will be 9 months soon can't even believe that.. time seems to go fast and so slow all at once. kind of creepy. they are sitting, eating lots, loving puffed wheat, putting all toys in their mouths still, still no teeth, they always want whatever toy the other one has, ari gives smiles more freely, noah is louder with his voice, ari decided he was against sleep and has become a horrible sleeper at night, naps are still hard but getting better, they love the jolly jumper and love sitting at the table in there big boy booster seats espcially when they are eating puffed wheat - both fists jamming it in. its hilarious. and breastfeeding... it was a hard choice but i have been somewhat slowly sort of weaning.. yea just like it sounds. i nurse them at around 6am and then not again till the afternoon usually between 1 and 2. i tried to just cut out the feed in the afternoon but after some painful engorgement decided that i needed a new approach. i am in the process of slowing down production by nursing one in the afternoon and bottle feeding the other one. then at 7 before they go to bed the one who was bottle fed gets nursed and the other one gets a bottle. it has been working really well.. they both seem to be adapting. so at first i decided this would work out perfectly and we would keep going with that untill they all of sudden have become not so great nursers.. they love to pull and yank on me with there hands and gums which is not pleasant. i have to hold there hands down while nursing so i don't have scratch marks everywhere. i think i will start to cut out the afternoon feed and see how that goes. it seems i am producing less milk because its less and less painful between feedings. so that is the story for now. now if only i could get some sleep!

for something totally different...

did you see grey's? how can i wait till next week.. how can this show suck me in so bad and leave me hanging like that.. my escape from reality this week seems so real.. anyways.. i love love love this show.

finally i understand why i confuse pork and breastmilk...

so there is this blog called the lactivist and its a funny place to visit.. its main purpose is to educate on breastfeeding and support milk banking (which at least our country does not have enough of). jennifer uses humor to talk about breastfeeding and a ton of breastfeeding moms go there for support and to tell stories.. anyways she has run into some problems.. please go check this out...
Overzealous Big Pork stomps on Breastfeeding Blogger
it really is worth the read... and for now add no more pork to the list!