dreaming of christmas time...

Our fave hats... brr its cold outside
Noah loving the jolly jumper
Bouncin Ari
Ari would rather nap with Daddy
Noah is all smiles
Noah has a thing for blondes
All the Loewen cousins.. 06
Ari opening presents with Auntie Tam
Christmas morning play time
Just what I wanted under the tree this year!!

Merry Christmas all and Happy New Year.. hopefully this abundance of pics will keep you going for awhile.. we are off to Ontario on friday and I am not sure how much I will be posting.. enjoy the rest of your holiday season.. much love to you and yours.. from us the difran clan....

what the heck *$#&%#*

well christmas has come and gone.. we did have fun for the most part but heres my trouble... my very good boys who sleep so well at home are not having it anywhere else... its really hard since we have been at my parents alot this season...yea sucks. they just scream and it takes alot of patting, sticking soothers in, turning over and just listening to wailing... seriously at home we put them down and they sleep instantly...it takes us sometimes half and hour to get them to nap and forget putting them down for the evening.. yikes!! so all this terror to say i am not looking forward to going to Ontario at the end of the week and having them not want to nap or sleep in a new place.. i just know this will be torture.. so please if you think of it send my boys sleepy thoughts... the next post will be happy with pics of the boys christmas and there new fasination with wrapping paper... its adorable!

merry christmas from the difrans...

introducing my new best friend...

shes sleek, sharp, doesn't take up much space and is so useful!!

yes folks its my ultimate chopper and it does all Chef Tony said it would. i have been using her to make baby food - and make baby food i do.. i have been filling my freezer each day with a new food. everyone should have an ultimate chopper. the boys have been enjoying there new foods for the most part although Ari is so constipated.. its sad watching him groan and grimace as he tries to push his poop out.. its amazing how he went from runny explosive poo to having such a hard time.. he is on a prune and pear diet until his little tummy can handle it again...not much else going on.. can't believe christmas is coming up so quickly.. i am done all my shopping, baking and wrapping all thats left to do is wait...we leave for ontario the end of next week as well which will be fun.. we havn't been there in a long time and noah and ari have a couple of aunties and a cousin they are dying to meet..hoping it won't mess them up with sleeping and stuff...

now with all this baby food making santa will you bring me a deep freeze PLEASE!!!!

what a week...

whew.. what a week its been.. we started off the week with an all out loewen family gathering that was fabulous and crazy and tiring all at once. it was my first gathering with children and lets say its definitly not as relaxing.. there are days when i crave my independance and how life used to be..there were kids everywhere and my kids decided they don't like to nap anywhere and espcially not when its so noisy.. the food was incredible and the sour cream cookies (my faves) were in abundance...
the rest of the week was full of stuff.. mostly good. i have been discovering how much fun it is to have twins.. they are discovering each other more and more and its pricesless to see them smile and talk to each other.. especially when they wake up and just want to chat it up.. they are napping much better although ari is quite reluctant some days. they go to bed like champs around 7pm each night and are sleeping till 5 or sometimes 6 and then they are up for a power nurse and back to bed for a couple of hours.. mom definitly functions better on more sleep...
yesterday was dave's work banquet.. i was an authentic participant opposed to the many years i just go to go because i was the boss's daughter.. Koolers (where dave works) is closely associated with DA Loewen (my dad's company) and so they do things together.. we all piled into a bus and headed to Winnipeg to Celebrations.. it was AWESOME.. the show and the servers.. so funny.. they did a Monty Python type comedy with all Beatles music.. they always amaze me. the food was ok.. and i did enjoy a few ceasers... yes moms night out.. we left the boys with my sister in law Tam. the boys did so good for her.. they ate like champs and went down for night so good and didn't make a peep....
funny story.. i decided i should take my trusty hand pump to the city as we would be gone for a few to many hours and i knew i would be feeling the "pressure"..well silly me forgot my pump under my chair in a plastic bag... ugg just as we were leaving the city i remembered. luckily (or not so luckily) daves boss was still in winnipeg at the hotel... so embarresed me calls him and asks him if he can look for the "item" i forgot.. when he asks what it is i was so embaressed and fumbled for my words trying to come up with a slick way of saying it and he chimes in "oh you forgot your milker" needless to say i was the laugh of the bus for a bit and a few minutes later he called back to say he had it in his possesion... that will be nice sitting on dave's desk monday morning...
along the lines of the pump.. i never used it and was planning on when we got home but with it gone i just went to bed.. ouch.. when the boys woke up at five they could barely keep up as the pressure almost blew there little heads off. poor guys...a few life lessons here but the first... never underestimate the usefullness of a pump..
thats about it for now..
a few updates on the boys now that they are almost 7 months old:
they can roll over
grab things (they love to suck on EVERYTHING)
they eat cereal now (love the oatmeal. the rice really plugged them up)
they love avacados
and of course they laugh and smile and flirt with any woman

mommy can we lick the spoons

did our christmas baking at my moms the other day.. this kept the boys entertained for hours!

early holiday cheer...

figured its been awhile since you have seen the boys.. they are loving there new room and the jolly jumper which are featured in these pics. we will post pics of all the new changes to the house including the christmas cheer that was spread thanks to chris & crystal.. thanks guys.

boycott.

now i have a confession i used to easily decide to have a cause.. i would want to boycott certain corporations for things they do.. like a few years ago I boycotted Starbucks.. or my short lived Nestle boycott. I mean I defintly always have good intentions but with Starbucks those red cups at christmas a couple years back called to me and the smell of a vanilla late or a london fog forced me back in the store.. or when Nestle sent me that backpack with lots of freebees and not to mention for awhile when i was using bottles I had bought Avent bottles without knowing Avent is owned by Nestle so that was shot. but friends have no fear I have found a new boycott that will surely stick. I have now boycotted Canadian Tire. I had the worst consumer experience I could have ever imagined and as I left in tears after being treated so horribly I know that I can never go back.
in other news I was looking at the counter on my blog and am amazed that over 20,000 people have viewed my blog. please keep coming back.. there will be pics posted again soon for all of you who want to see the boys.. we have been busy with Christmas approaching it seems there is always somthing to do...

life these days...

i have a few things to blog about.. we have been super busy this week redecorating and moving our rooms around. we felt it was time to have the boys in their own room. so we have all moved downstairs. the week was spent painting and moving.. i loved the way everything turned out and will post pics soon.. last night was their first night alone and i was surprised at the sadness i felt.. leaving them in their new room with the door partly closed and when i crawled into bed our new room seemed so much bigger without them. then we woke up having the best sleep ever and most of the sadness was forgotten. the bliss of sleeping from 10:30 till 5:00am was awesome. the boys went down so well and slept all night.. wow what a difference that made who would have thought they would just really love being alone. this morning they woke up talking to each other which was adorable. i love my boys. they turned 6 months old this past week and some days i just look at them and can't belive how big they are. so many changes have occured this past moonth. they are enjoying eating cereal (they are slowly getting it), they love to play in their excersaucers and they are hilarious in the jolly jumper. they love to smile at each other and love to put anything in their mouth.. its amazing how quickly they change.
we bought a van this month as well. we love it. its a used honda odyssey and its a dream. so nice to have more room to throw all our gear. we enjoy the command start and the automatic doors on each side.. nice as the weather here has quickly turned to winter.
i must go but wanted to update you all and thank you for your kind words as we trained the boys to sleep. there were a few hard nights but i know that this was the best thing for them and they are better babies for it. love to you and yours and to my american friends happy thanksgiving..

ANNOYED

what is with this private blogger thing.. i have serious issues with this. why did you start a blog if you have to make it private? blogs are for people to view and i loved viewing peoples blogs and just reading what random things people write about.. its awesome to feel connected to people and learn so many things from other peoples lives.. there is string of women whose blogs i loved to visit who have made them private - meaning you have to email them for an invite. i refuse.. this seems ridiculous to me.. please if you are thinking of doing this tell me WHY?? what would cause you to cut some of us random visitors out of your lives.. oh and i think its funny how blogger forced us all to move to blogger beta without our consent. logged in one day and i was forced to conform.. i guess that's how the world works...

progress

well since my last two posts we have been making progress.. although a bit painful at times i am beginning to see some great changes.. thanks to my friend julie who gave me amazing advice as well as the encouragment i have received from so many of you my blogger friends..
the boys have been on a better schedule and have even been napping in a regular pattern of 45min to an hour, then up for two hours and napping again and so on.. the nights have been good too.. seperated the boys into two seperate cribs and have only had minimal crying in the middle of the night.. night one - 22min for one and 17min for the other. night two - 30 min for one and 24 min for the other. night three - no minutes for one and 12 min and 4 min for the other at two seperate times.. feeling better for sure..
they are put down around 7:30 or 8:00 and other than the small bouts of crying around 2ish they then will sleep till 5am when i will feed them and they will sleep till about 7:30 or so.. its working its really working and they seem that much better for it..
i'm encouraged that i am doing the best thing for them.. they are still smiling and laughing and being just great babies! tonite at church i was reminded how blessed we are... they are so content to just play with their toys and sing when everyone is singing... its so cute.
gotta run. lots of love to you and yours...

torture

read post below for backstory.. they have been screaming for 10 minutes and it feels like a lifetime.. mom are you there? why don't you love on me? ahh the torture.. my sister in law julia called me last night and i keep remembering what she encouraged me with.. they are not hurt, not in danger.. they are ok.. and trena i loved that you said that your noah is still a happy baby even with all the crying... these are words i am holding onto right now.. this is beyond PAINFUL!!! one stopped... my mom is holding me back from entereing the room.. ooh he started again.. my mom just offered me earplugs.. put a smile on my face.. will keep you posted.. still not sure this is going to work... audrey i need a big beer and a peter... BAD!

desperation..

this is an emergency... we are desperate for some much needed sleep.. things seem to be going from bad to worse with the boys.. they don't nap, don't sleep.. they are miserable.. well not all the time but when they are tired.. umm which is most of the time. i am sleep deprived and running out of patience... my poor husband is almost near non functioning because of lack of sleep at night and hard work all day..
the boys nap about 2-3 time per day (if we are lucky) but only for 30-45min (if we are lucky) they nurse about every 3 hour. in the evening they are always TIRED.. and miserable.. i will nurse them about 8or8:30, burp, change and put down by 9 usually.. they sleep restlessly till anywhere from midnight or sometimes 1am and then all hell breaks loose. they are crying, tired and just plain horrible for the rest of the night.. none of this seems normal to me..
i have read everything from no cry sleep solution to the baby whisperer and even tried a bit of CIO which doesn't help them at all... it does make them go back to sleep after 15min of crying but only for an hour max and then we are up doing it all over..
now lets remember that i don't have ONE baby i have TWO and this makes life very difficult..
since i am being honest i don't really want comments telling me to hang in there it will get better and all that cuddling crap (right now thats how i feel) if you are reading this and you have some tried and tested methods of schedules or sleep advice then you can comment or if you just want to tell me man heather that sucks.. that would be great... otherwise just read and move on and pray for us... good thoughts for the difran clan... so before anyone writes this deep down i know...
THIS TOO SHALL PASS BUT FOR NOW ITS NOT WORKING!!! any advice????

ok adding this a few hours later.. all the above is still true with the modification of they are not always miserable.. they are sweet, cuddly, and they smile lots. they don't play strange and when they laugh its enough to melt my chilly heart... i love them to pieces

what you have all been waiting for...

beta betta?

will someone please explain to me why i need to upgrade to this new version of blogger???

the condition or quality of being human

its sad that i have not been motivated much to post on here, afraid i think is an acurate portrayal of how i have felt about it... unmotivated and afraid to let you in and tell you the truth... life for me these days has not been a bowl of cherries. in my quest for excellence (although truth be told still having a hard time letting go of perfection) i have been afraid to tell you that i don't have it all together.. i have many times had to hang on for dear life because if i didn't hang on i would surely go to the looney bin. now i am not sure exactly what my feelings or lack of feelings mean but i do feel safe to say that my thoughts and feelings this past week have been sometimes borderline scary.. ok insert note to all of you here: this is not a cry for help... i have been ok with help.. this is just an admission of my fear and a need to come clean and say i do not always have things all together and to somehow put it out there here in blog land that THAT IS OK!! being a mom is hard in fact its a passport to many feelings... lonliness, craziness, even hair pulling madness at times.
we love our kids right.. we do the best we can by them and still somedays we feel we might loose our minds. i think i am doing a pretty good job with these two and feel i keep somewhat of a clean house, i manage to do laundry and get supper on the table most nights.. but if i look deep down there is more that i need... more peace that needs to settle and surround my whole self...
somedays being knee deep in poopy diapers and mounds of laundry and dust circling my water cooler and screaming that i can't seem to do anything about gets to me. it just does and that my friends makes me what i fear the most... human.
i am going to post this instead of reading it over and analyzing my thoughts, afraid of the comments i will get because i long to be real i long to overcome my fear and just be human.

all in a weeks work..

here we are again. having a few minutes to spare while the boys nap and since i have wanted to update this thing in so long i figured now is a good time.. only two weeks left of my parents trip and you know i am quite proud of myself for how things have gone. i think there has only been one meltdown day and my sister-in-law saved me from that.. i feel i have been able to stay pretty close to on top of things and stay sane at the same time. it helps that the boys have been so good.. a bit fussier at times (thanks to little white dots on their bottom gums - oh God help me)
i have been learing so much too about my role on this planet and how easily i revert back to the mind set that i have to have ALL things together... the perfect wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister) at my women's bible study group last week i shared this.. and someone gave me an encouragement - its not possible to be perfect but in doing everything we can strive to be excellent.. yes, i have been trying to be excellent in all i do and not being so hard on myself when the floor is dirty, the dishes are everywhere and my stupid cassarole is rock solid frozen after being in the oven for what feels like forever.
so in the small things i continue on.. and when i look back at last week i did pretty good..

cleaned my house - one room at a time
did massive amounts of laundry
baked a pie
caught up with an old friend
changed ALOT of diapers (you should make a guess at how many i go through in a day)
played with my boys
pulled out all my flowers and got the yard winter ready
made a card for a friend whom i miss dearly
baked cookies
taught Ari to nap in his crib
got supper on the table pretty much most nights
cuddled with my husband
did i mention laundry
laughed with my boys who turned 5 months old yesterday
cleaned up so many diapers along with some poop that went up to the shoulders
spent time with friends
attended my weekly women's bible study
turned off the tv every once in awhile and listened to a good cd

its all in the small things..

to the loewens down under...

grandma & grandpa we miss you!!!!

and ari really wants you to come home... he even put on his saddest face when i mentioned your name....

the view from here...

yep its that time again. the snow has started to fly. (this is a pic of just snow - not the snow here.. yet) i had to add drama some how. anyways makes going out with the boys that much more difficult. but we will make it. anyways completed 5 days of my mom's absence already.. for those of you who don't know my parents are having a wonderful month down under - visiting my brother and family in Perth. we have done well here without them although i sure miss her coming in the door every morning around 10.. oh only 27 more days.
we had a good thanksgiving weekend - i love long weekends when dave can be home. have not been sleeping well these days. noah and ari have decided to have a major growth spurt so feeding LOTS and not at the same time which gives me a total of about 2-3 hours sleep (never consecutive) that has been hard but we will press through.
not much else is new here.. just gearing up for cold weather. another update to come soon. here is a little collage of new noah and ari pics..

27 years...

i had a lovely birthday weekend. my first birthday as a mom. on friday i did what every good mother should do i left.. i decided it was time to get away and do something for me. i drove to wpg and went shopping. it was time to find some fall clothes that fit. i met my good friend lindsey there who by the way is one of my favorite persons to shop with. we used to go all the time in vancouver as it was theraputic for us and again it was no different. we had a great time. i was gone from 2:30 till 10:00 and the boys were so good for my mom and for dave. i really felt energized and it felt nice to have some me time. on saturday morning dave took the boys out of bed early and let me sleep in till almost 10 which was awesome. when i finally rolled out of bed there was a beautiful breakfast waiting for me. the best surprise was the handmade card my not so crafty husband made for me. it was special that he took the time to dig into my card making stuff and make me something. we were visited by daves parents who were passing through town and later went to friends for dinner and church in the evening. it was a good day. sunday we went walking at Stanley park (nothing like the vancouver park) but with the fall leaves it was a nice change to sitting inside. the boys love being carried around and the fresh air was good for them. then it was off to mom and dads for birthday dinner which was so yummy i could barely handle it. it was a good weekend..the boys are doing so well. they are getting bigger and bigger. in fact they are going through some kind of growth spurt thing cause all they want to do is eat. our nights have been funny with that as they wake up alot more to eat..i am hoping this is just a phase and they will begin to sleep longer again. they smile and giggle so much now. they wake up happy and are beginning to nap more regularily. its a fun stage of new things and more interaction. anyways enjoy the pics from our family fun day on sunday. Noah is in blue and Ari is in red (or maybe you could tell all on your own)