Sunday, August 08, 2010

and..

for something completely different. i have been a fan of Armelle's Blog for quite some time. She has impeccable fashion taste, makes yummy food and designs jewelry. Pretty amazing jewelry. If it were in the budget I would be picking these...



oh and these vintage floral mum's are ADORABLE and I would like one in every color.. but these are especially beautiful. S


She has a ton of great stuff go check it out AND if you are lucky enough to live in the state's she is offering free shipping till tomorrow!!

Saturday, August 07, 2010

journaling.

I am really excited about THIS
Check out my sidebar for more!
My very excellent and fabulous friend and official family photography Marcy is in on it. Anyone else going to join in the fun?

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

on Jett & life



Wow 8 weeks already! It's amazing how fast it goes. I am also wondering how the heck it got to be August already??!! I am torn between making this post only pictures and keeping it light or telling you all how I really feel.... oh you know me so well.

8 weeks

I am tired. Really tired. I am unsure I like the feeling's I am having. Although I don't remember much of the first year with the boys these feeling's feel somewhat familiar. Jett is terribly cute but also hard to manage some days. He has had tummy issues from day one - I even cut out dairy! In the last few days if he is not being held he is screaming (in the evening even if he is held is screaming) His sleep is atrocious... impossible to put down. He does get one good strech of 4 hours from about 10pm till 2am and then we are back to feeding every 2 hours.... it's a vicious cycle. I know my milk supply is plenty (I pumped the other day and in 10 minutes I got 8 oz - this mama makes enough milk for the school yard)

I am kind of at a loss. It's tiring and I feel so bad for the older boys who get so little of my attention these days. Like even right now Jett is laying down (which is rare - I got him to sleep by putting him on his tummy - I know I know call CFS see if I care) the boys are having quiet time and so I am alone for like maybe 10 minutes... till someone wants juice or a snack or boobie.

And for this next part if any of you are reading this and this is your life please don't comment about it.. I am happy for you and all but I don't want to hear it right now.. I can't handle hearing anymore people talking about how there infants sleep for 8-9 hour stretches!! Seriously shut up!! I even had to hide some people's status's from appearing in my facebook news feed cause I was going to throw up if I have to read it anymore.

I think part of me expected this would be easy.. I mean it is easy in comparison to having twins but yet I just thought it would be easier. Dave and I fight all the time.. mostly about either dealing with a screaming newborn or how to parent our other two. It's all tiring. And then this happened...

This morning I was sitting outside with a cup of coffee watching N & A ride their bikes and rocking J in his car seat with my foot re-reading Traveling Mercies (a life changing book - and yes Bud I will return it) I am not sure if I missed this part or what but today it practically jumped off the page...

"Christianity is about water. It's about baptism, full immersion, falling into something elemental and wet. Most of what we do in wordly life is gared toward our staying dry, looking good, not going under. But in baptism - in lakes and rain and tanks you agree to do something that's a little sloppy because at the same time it's holy and absurd. It's about surrender; giving in to all those things we can't control: it's a willingness to let go of balance and decorum and get drenched.
And in the Christian experience of baptism, the hope is that when you go under and you come out, maybe a little disoriented, you havn't dragged that old day along behind you. The hope, the belief is that a new day is upon you now. A day when you take God at God's word about cleanness and protection. "When though passeth thru the water, I will be with thee; and through the river's, they shall not overflow thee."
God isn't there to take away our suffering or pain but to fill it with his presence."


So there you have it.. I am such an imperfect parent and flawed woman BUT I am trusting that this too shall pass and with refinement and more grace than a girl knows what to do with.. I shall come out of the water facing a NEW day... better than the one I was holding onto... and for all those perfect people who post their perfect status's I hope you too find what your looking for.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

swim fish swim



We decided to do swimming lessons this year.. the boys already love the water but I figured it was a good activity to keep them busy for two weeks. They had so much fun! By week 2 they were slightly bored cause they are already so comfortable in the water and there is only so much Motorboat, bubble gum bum and What's the time Mr. Wolf you can handle. By the Friday of week 1 they were doing belly flops from the side of the pool and swimming underwater holding their breathe for a good 5 seconds.


I loved watching them! They usually had a fan club and we got to spend some good family time by the side of the pool. Shout out to cousins Cody & Kara who consistently came to cheer them on!


And of course Jett was there... pretty much always doing this...


Thursday, July 29, 2010

just too tired

the lack of sleep has had me lacking in the blogging department. have no ideas on what to write about... i'll be back soon.
fyi - did you know new parents (and I am going to say mom's after the first baby - cause dave sleeps very well) loose the equivalent of 6 months sleep.. fo sho.

Friday, July 23, 2010

me

So I find when I blog about myself people comment but when it's about kids I get no loving.. so I guess me it is :)
Weight = 150.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

third child...

Seems as if the third child definitely gets the shaft in the picture taking. I rarely grab my camera anymore. It's not that he's not adorable cause he is. Maybe I am just too lazy. I never even took a 6 week picture. Sheesh. But here he is taken within the last week. We weighed him on Monday and he weighs... 1olbs 6oz. I KNOW!! crazy big. He is super cute with his double chin.

He eats alot. He is sleeping longer stretches at night.. I get up for sure twice sometimes more. He is harder to settle.. it's been better since I cut out dairy.. it's actually been easier than I thought.. I really miss cheese and ice cream but only in moments. I figure for him I can handle it. I think it's actually helped my weight loss too.. I mean it's not like I was eating a Buster Bar almost every night.... He tends to have a good nap in the afternoon which is nice. And sometimes you will find us like this...

and really who can resist this face...


Monday, July 19, 2010

checking in

Just checking in.. no scale so I don't know my progress.. but I have managed to work out every day but once this last week. Nothing too crazy. Mostly Yoga and some pilates. I did go for my first run on Saturday.. that was a gong show. First off all my sports bra is WAY too small for this milk making mama. Then before I left I leaned on the couch to check my email and soaked the couch (and my top) so sorry to those in Schanzenfeld who happened to drive by as I put my lead feet down on the pavement complete with milk soaked circles.. what a sight I must have been. But I did it.. mostly 3 and 1's. It felt good.
Back later with a 6 week check on Jett :)

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

thoughts from the postpartum haze


I have decided to bare all.. yep. I am ready to be accountable. I am going on a journey to a healthy body (along with my mind and spirit) . Shh I know I just said it. I am not saying any of this for sympathetic comments or attention this is for me... well and the blog world. It seems saying it out loud may help. After the twins my body was never what it used to be.. I was left carrying a huge reminder of how my body stretched. I never got back to where I wanted to be. Now after Jett I want it back. I want to be healthy again. I want my clothes to fit properly and would like my chin to get rid of it's counterpart.
I remember talking to Dave a few months ago about what I was expecting after Jett came. If you have followed Our Life Voyage for sometime you will recall that after the twins life changed for me (yes for obvious reasons but also for some not so obvious) Those were dark days.. lonely, hard days. I was depressed and angry and just sad. It was not me.. It was like a big black cloud followed me around.. I missed out on alot of love that first year. I also filled myself with such self loathing.
I shared with Dave that I did not want to go down that road again. I wanted to give myself a healthy mind.. I have changed alot since the boys came along.. I have learned to let go and give up control. I have become more aware of how much better life is when you don't take it or yourself so seriously. Self awareness is a life long process.. I am working day by day.
Postpartum this time around is seriously different. I am happy and enjoying the day to day stuff. My mind feels healthy. So now it's time to walk into the person I want to be - mind, body and spirit.
Not sure what that all looks like but I want to face the things that drag me down head on. To look them in the face and get past them. Food is one of those things... it drags me down. I am not completely sure of the reasons yet but I plan to find out. I also plan to get moving.. I began running last year and to my surprise really enjoyed it. I want to go there again. I am a little leary of running out here in the village and country - so many stray dogs. Someone suggested I carry a small spray bottle...
I also plan to meet up with Jillian starting tonight. She kicked my butt last time and with a family vacation and wedding at the end of August it's the perfect time.
Day one - 154lbs
So now before I get cold feet I am going to press publish.. do it. NOW.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

on having three

Its hard to believe that Jett has been here for 5 weeks... it seems he just fits right in. I have been in awe of how the third child just fits in.. there is no handling with care, staying home and endless cuddles. life goes on. there are two more who need handling (some days nice some days not), two others who need cuddling, feeding and all the other things that come with having kids. the third one is along for the ride.


It's been an adjustment learning how to exist on no sleep, being a constant feeding machine and learning to just let go of some of the things on each day's to do list. Some days the dust piles up, the laundry stays in the basket and the bathroom floor turns yellow (I have boys!!)
Its interesting cause I feel I become more and more me.. or at least the person I want to be. Not the uptight in control person I figured I was. I am learning to let go and live.

Of course I have my days where I would much rather just curl up and sleep or days where the mess in my house drives me crazy. I often pass off all children to Dave when he gets home and lock myself in a closet. I am no where near the point where I could be full time stay at home mom but I am entering a phase where I am looking forward to this year at home and learning more about myself and my kiddo's...

Cause I just need to face it we make good people!
and if you need proof check THIS out.


Wednesday, July 07, 2010

one month

well Jett you have been here for one month. hard to believe that sunday was my due date and here you are so a part of our lives it's hard to imagine you still being inside. you are a good boy.. you eat, sleep and poop. your pretty consistent. you were weighed on monday and came in at a whopping 8lbs 5oz. Whoa.


Thanks to a friend I was sent these awesome patches to document Jett's progress each month. They are super cute. Each one has an adhesive strip on the back and can be attached to anything and then removed. You can even scrapbook it or place it an album when you are done. They come in some great colors. I am looking forward to tracking his progress and this makes it easy.

Saturday, July 03, 2010

way to far behind...

I am so far behind with blogging. I have so much I want to share with you but feel no motivation.. I know I know I just had a baby and I need to go easy on myself. I love blogging and like documenting life. I just wish I had more time.. So here goes an overview of June - in pictures and some words...

N & A got kites for their birthday and we have spent time in the backyard flying them. They love it and it's something they always ask to do when they see the wind in the trees.

Grandma D was here.. lets just say she flew in when we needed her most and that goes a long way. While I was in between leaking fluid, bed rest and having Jett she was here. It was huge for us to be able to not worry about plans for N & A and just have her help us with cooking, cleaning and being a great playmate. She did lots of crafting and baking with the boys.


There was the infamous tour of the new fire hall which they boys have been waiting forever for. I could not go but they went and had a GREAT time. Sitting in a fire truck for a 4 year old must feel like winning the lottery.

After having to put off their first birthday party - it was to happen the day my water broke. We finally had it the weekend before Jett came. I was on the couch but we geared the plans down and had family and close friends over for a great party! The boys loved it and we had a great time. Seeing Ari get his front end loader was the highlight.. he was so happy!


We got a sandbox back in May and it has provided hours of fun. They love it!


They passed Sunday school - and got certificates. They even sang in front of church. It was awesome.


One of the best things my dad ever spent money on was this pool. The boys love spending hot afternoon here and it's made even sweeter when cousins and papa get in on the action.


We celebrated Father's Day and this guy! He really is the best. How handsome are all these boys?? Melts me.


And then there's this guy. The third greatest thing we've ever done.




Wednesday, June 23, 2010

a sneak peak

the very talented Judith Voth took these of Jett. she wanted to "practice". AS if she needs it :)
the ones she posted on facebook are amazing and I can't wait to see them all. thinking this is screaming print me as a birth announcement!!

Monday, June 21, 2010

two weeks

Meet Jett at 2 weeks old. I plan to take these photos once a week to document his growth. This photo taken on the most beautiful handmade gift from Audrey (my co-worker) she knit this blanket and it's ALL ME - the colors are amazing the pattern the softness of the yarn. I LOVE LOVE it.



Observations
-Jett is 2 weeks old today and he weighs 6lbs6oz... amazing!! So much growth in two weeks.
-He is peaceful... barely cries and just loves to eat and sleep.
-He is the exact image of his dad.. it's actually crazy how much they look alike.

-Noah and Ari are just crazy in love with their brother, sometimes too much. They just want to hug him, squeeze him, kiss him and handle him. They don't get the concept of too much.

-Dave and I were driving the other day and both looked in the back and turned to each other and couldn't believe we are the parents of THREE kids. Whoa.
-Adjusting to life with the three of them has had its ups and downs... mostly behavior stuff with A & N. It's been surprising to me to see the behavioral issues with Noah when I was expecting them with Ari.

Those of you who have followed my blog from when the twins came will know that those early days were dark for me.. well let's face it that whole year was bleak. This has been amazing for me... I have been thinking about how we never really got to enjoy N & A when they came. We were in survival mode... we spend lots of time really enjoying Jett and getting to love him on him in a different way. Some times I feel ripped off that I didn't get that the first time and the guilt can creep in. But I go back to that place of remember that I am doing the best I can with what I have.. that's all we can ever do. I am thankful to get this chance to do it this way. One baby really is just so much simpler. Also having done all these things before helps... everything just comes easier.


I have so many blog posts in my head and once the fog has lifted (it's getting there) I'll be back with more. I have photos to share from N & A's birthday and some other fun stuff from the end of May and June.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

one week old.




It's not that usual when everything is beautiful
It's just another ordinary miracle today

The sky knows when its time to snow
You don't need to teach a seed to grow
It's just another ordinary miracle today

Life is like a gift they say
Wrapped up for you everyday
Open up and find a way
To give some of your own

Isn't it remarkable?
Like every time a raindrop falls
It's just another ordinary miracle today

Birds in winter have their fling
And always make it home by spring
It's just another ordinary miracle today

When you wake up everyday
Please don't throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart
Cause we are all a part
Of the ordinary miracle

Ordinary miracle
Do you want to see a miracle?

Its seems so exceptional
Things just work out after all
It's just another ordinary miracle today

The sun comes up and shines so bright
It disappears again at night
It's just another ordinary miracle today

It's just another ordinary miracle today

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Happy Birthday Jett

*disclaimer: I wrote this out in the hospital the days we stayed there and it's my full account of the details surrounding Jett's birth.. it's lengthy and in full detail of my account.

Monday, June 7, 2010 – Welcome to the world Jett Anderson DiFrancesco.

Mom and Auntie Marlene drove me to Winnipeg to go to my fetal assessment appt. I was at Women’s around 10:15. I got the same tech I had the previous week.. she even remembered me which was nice. She was quiet as soon as she started and asked me if I came alone.. I immediately asked her if something was wrong.. she said no but she was unsure of the babies position… ugh my heart sank. I can’t believe he shifted. She reassured me he was just fine and we watched his little heart for a bit. She went to get the Doctor to double check his position. Sure enough Transverse with feet and cord presenting.. oh boy here we go again. She showed me what it looked like and sure enough there was cord mixed in with the feet at the bottom of my uterus. She said she would call Dr. Lee and we would go from there but I was not going home today. The technician came with me to find my mom after I had made calls to Dave and Marla. Thankfully Dr Lee was not on call and Dr. Boroditsky (who I came to Women’s initially way back on May 29th) was on. He said I would be admitted to the third floor and wait the 6 hours since I had had breakfast and we would be having him via C Section that afternoon

Whirlwind. We were immediately admitted upstairs and they began pre op stuff with me. I was loosing a lot of fluid again by this point so I was super thankful to be there. What a mess… I was aware of the disappointment I was feeling but at the same time I knew that we were in the right place and had I gone into labor it could have not turned out well. Dave was finishing a job up at the credit union and was probably so annoyed at all my phone calls as he was just trying to finish welding – lol. I was anxious to have him there… my maybe supper time csection turned into as soon as “the husband” gets here because of my eating a bowl of cereal at 7:30 and all the fluid I was leaking. Dave was finally on his way out of Winkler after 1:15. I was kept occupied by fabulous nurses, meeting the Dr. who was so nice and the 4 magazines my mom and Marlene brought me. I was well taken care of.

Marla arrived about 20 minutes before Dave and we just chatted about how things would go… again I was so blessed to have her here with us. She is just such a calming presence. Dave arrived to everyone’s relief and things moved quickly from there. Marla and Dave were given the green scrubs and blue hats. My FABULOUS nurse walked me down and I gave Dave a kiss. After I was ready they would let them come in. The Aneseiologist was also AMAZING. I walked into the operating room with Hot 103 blaring one of the days greatest hits. The mood was upbeat and pleasant. I sat down and there was chit chat about our kids and other things. She set up getting me my spinal – it’s funny how it all came back from last time. I am so thankful for nurses whispering in my ear telling me to breathe and relax and just reassuring me. It’s maternal I guess. After the spinal is the strangest feeling when they get you to lay down and you feel your body just loosing it’s ability to feel. I kept laughing cause I could swear my legs were up in the air and they were just playing tricks with me. They reassured me that I was laying flat.

I was so relieved when Dave and Marla came in. You never forget the sensation of a section. It’s surreal and I won’t go into details. You also never forget how kind people are the anestiologit who basically has your life in her hands is the boss and she made me feel very well taken care of.

It took longer than I remember with the boys. His position was funny… they pulled him out feet first and then realized the cord was around his neck so they had to maneuver around that.. the doc thought he hairline fractured his arm that was up around his head. It had popped but he is fine so they think it just came out of the socket and went back in. The getting him out was much more uncomfortable than with the boys… much more tugging. He gave a little cry when he came out and I remember being so relieved… they had him over at the warmer just getting him pink and checking his arm out. 4:55 p.m our Jett had joined the world! I had an ugly cry… relief, disappointment, joy, the unknown… it all came out.

They brought Jett to me at some point. He was beautiful so tiny. They took him to the other room to monitor him. Dave went with him and Marla stayed with me while they finished fixing me up.

I was wheeled into Recovery. I remember it did not feel as horrible as the time with the boys. I did not get all shaky and feel as strange as I did. I made some phone calls to share our news. Dave spent time back and forth showing me pictures of Jett. He was just being monitored for some Respitory issues.. just breathing a bit hard. The chest x ray showed he had fluid in his lungs. Poor little guy – he was doing well though. I think we were there for a couple hours. When they brought me up to our room they brought him to the Intermediate nursery just to be monitored.. they said 6 hours from birth. So we got settled upstairs – had a snack and just rested. Dave went back and forth… telling me how Jett was doing. At around 11 p.m. they brought him to me and I held my little guy. He was amazing. So tiny and perfect. He stayed with us and I barely slept.. every sound. He latched on really well but was so sleepy. Nursing was just a comfort at that point.


I’m writing this at the end of day 2 and knowing we get to go home tomorrow. He has come a long way. He is beautiful and perfect. He nurses like a champ and is pooping and peeing more than normal. We love him.

We had lots of visitors on Tuesday. Noah and Ari were pumped.. they couldn’t get enough of Jett. Touching his face and all his parts.. they held him and loved on him. It was adorable. Grandma D and Grandma and Papa came too. You are so loved. Auntie Crystal and Auntie Lisa and Auntie Marlene came. Jenelle came too. Everyone brought us food and brought you presents. It was lovely to have everyone there.

No one stayed long and soon it was just us again. I can’t wait to have you home with your brothers they love you so much!

Your dad ended up staying the next night too I just needed him. He left early this morning to go to work today and it was just me and you all day. We enjoyed each other, learning about each other and resting. Life will be busy soon enough so it’s nice to have some down time to just sit and enjoy each other. I love you Jett and am amazed that I get to be your mom.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

celebrate


welcome to the world Jett Anderson. 06-07-10. 5lbs11oz.


more to come...

Thursday, June 03, 2010

okay


not sure where to start.. i couldn't even begin to update you all as to where we are at if I tried.. most of it I don't understand. I am home now and plan to stay here unless I go into labor or find myself with an infection. Both are being monitored by me and my midwife daily. Hopefully on Sunday my labor will start and I will be able to be admitted here to Boundary Trails. If not I will probably go to my fetal assessment in Winnipeg on Monday and be put on a list to be induced.
I am beyond discouraged and quite disappointed. I would give anything to be going to work tomorrow to enjoy my last day and tie up loose ends and then enjoy some time off. Sitting on the couch for me all day is hard and the unknown is harder. I find pockets of hope... a visit from a friend, baking being dropped off, hugs from a & n, emails phone calls and all kinds of offers of help. I know that when I finally do set eyes on Baby J this will all be worth it...
So for now I wait...

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

sweet home.

I am home. And so happy. Just trying to take it easy and relax. Not worry about everything I could be doing. Accept and Eat the food people are bringing (the yummy baking)!!! It's humbling and hard to ask for help. Thank you for the love.