not into keeping secrets...

yes i am still here and apoligize for the lack of posting. last week went so fast with all the comotion around here. the dts teams came back from outreach so it made for a very busy week. it was so great to have them all come back and have them share their stories. the weekend was nice as the staff went to a hotel to debreif the school and relax. i floated in the pool - what an incredible feeling to be weightless.
well yesterday was the big day... as dave would say we spyed on the babies which was awesome. we went to a different place than last time and although we waited forever we also were blessed to have them be "playing" around with the 3D feature which allowed us great views of our little guys - yep kickstands and all.... i have to admit i was suprised for some reason i really thought they would be girls. we are both very excited!! i am relieved because my biggest fear was that they wouldn't be in the right position to tell. we got some amazing shots of the babies and seeing the 3D views was incredible. we couldn't scan the pictures for some reason they did not turn out but i am positive the one baby we got a good face shot of looks just like dave. super cute. so instead of pics of the baby i found this cute onesie that describes it all.. my boys will be boob men. (if anyone ever comes across this onesie i would like two!)




























way too many cool websites out there you have to check this out: http://www.cafepress.com/deeksbrats/1200861

you can't live in my ribs...

its been a while. each weekend dave and i have the intention to take a pregnancy photo of my ever growing belly and we are falling behind. this week i promise. so the newest thing is one baby likes to live in my rib cage and stretch out. its fascinating to know its growing and i can feel it but its taking its toll on my ribs. the babies are kicking lots too. some nights dave and i can't keep up with trying to feel them all. one kicks here one kicks there and then this morning i found out they love music. during worship they were all over the place. its so fun to feel them moving. hard to imagine how cramped it must be in there for them and they still have a ways to go.
we had breakfast with my parents at the airport on saturday as they had a layover on the way to their fantasy trip to thailand. all expense paid. incredible. i am excited for them to get off the continent and see what they are missing. after sending their kids all over the world they deserve to get away.
so we scored yesterday at the ikea as is box sale. a couple times a year they load their warehouse with damaged boxes that have not been looked through. you wait in line and you have to barrel your way around crazy people. its awesome. anyways we scored big time. we got $1100 worth of furniture for $100.00. Incredible. Our house looks like an Ikea warehouse as we are not unpacking any of it but will leave it boxed to make the move to Winkler. It was a fun day even when we had to configure a roof rack to get some of it home.
i wanted to put out a disclaimer on my previous post. i spoke openly about my feelings of attatchement parenting and breastfeeding and in no way meant it to be a harsh word to those whom i love and whom i already know i can count on back home. it wasn't meant to accuse them of not caring or not helping. i already know in my head that i can count on those people. i was just expressing my fears of the well wishers who mean well but don't have the kind of authority to speak into the way you plan to raise your kids. you know the ones you come across and who are barely acquaintences. so if any of you reading this felt i meant you by no means did i. i know who loves me and will support whatever way i find i can manage these two little babies.. i am going to need you and know i can count on you for anything.
till next time my friends...

comfort

you know when you have someone in your life that just spells comfort for you. someone who you have learned so much from, have grown so much partly because of.. i think we all have more than one and i got to spend some time with someone who is that to me this week. my good friends ben and mel parsons and there adorable daughter jaya were here to visit up from seattle. it was great to spend time hanging out with them. mel is one of those people who knows me so well and has seen me in my worst times. we did our dts together almost 9 years ago - yikes!! and then i staffed in seattle for a few years with them. it was in that time i grew the most and she was always there to inspire and challange me. she is such an inspiration not only a great wife and mother she is also on her way to becoming a midwife. it was great to have them up here. here are a couple pics from our time with them.
not much else is new. after last week its been a quieter week. my tummy is growing what feels like daily. we traded in our stroller for the double version and i love it. it was great to have done all that research and have the one i picked luckily have a double model so it all didn't go to waste. i have joined a yahoo group that is so insightful on having multiples. its an attatchement parenting group that highly encourages exclusive breastfeeding, baby wearing (yes its totally possible) and co-sleeping. it has been refreshing to read other peoples experiences and realize that i don't have to give up anything just because there is two.
people keep asking me if i am overwhelmed and although the realization that life will be different definitly is real i don't feel overwhelmed; i feel blessed and up for the challange. the only thing i am worried about it having the support of others when we move who are likeminded in the breastfeeding area. i have already had skeptikal comments from people who don't realize that milk is a supply and demand thing and that you make what you need and there are women who feed triplets till they are well into there toddler years. i want to know that i am supported because i am going to need help! luckily there are great support groups in winnipeg for parents with multiples and i am attending meetings here too with women who are doing it.
ok ok enough about that. this has turned into a long post so i will end with that.

what a week..

so now that the shock has worn off. i have some time to gather some thoughts. all this news has been quite overwhelming and has created some mind shifts for us. but i am equally excited at the double blessing we are being granted - with that double blessing i pray comes double grace.
there has been some time of surrender like not being able to have a home birth and having to consult with ob's. luckily my midwives still take me as primary care. we will deliver our babies in winnipeg as well. its amazing to me how often i have told my clients not to have expectation of their births and to hold everything lightly you just never know what will happen but i'm surprised at how many hidden expectations i held.
family and friends are extra excited. it was almost more fun telling people this news and the reactions we got were much bigger. so thanks to all of you for your excitement and support and your well wishes. it means so much to us.
as if we didn't have enough huge news we have more. we bought a house! yep my parents looked at it and we put an offer in the same day and this morning it went through so we are now official adults yep expecting twins, and homeowners all in one week. what will be next??
here is a pic of our new home at 231 Imperial Bay. It's cute, small and well taken care of. Good enough for the first while and we can move in April 1 which is perfect. ok now you let it all sink in..... p.s. the two deers in the front don't come with the house. i know i know its sad.
oh and if you haven't visited in awhile check out the post below for fabulous pictures.

introducing....

well we had our ultrasound yesterday which was so exciting. we were really excited to find out the sex of the baby but unfortunately we couldn't because....we found out that there is not just one baby but two. its a double blessing. as overwhelming as this all is we are also aware that we are so blessed. because of the babies position we couldn't see what they were but the tech was pretty sure that the babies are identical. anyways i wanted you to see our babies first photo shoot. they were referred to as baby a and baby b for the tech as she had lots of measurments to take. the babies measure the same and look to be growing well. not sure where they are going to grow too. i feel a bit full already.

this first picture is of our babies heads. it was funny the way they were draped all over each other. baby b had its little bum in baby a's face and dave said at times would be kicking baby a in the head. hopefully they can get along in their little home.





this is baby a - very mellow. just relaxed there. every so often you'd see baby a's arms and legs move but it was perfectly content. one of the most incredible things was seeing there little hearts beating and watching them gulp and swallow.






this is baby b - much the little swimmer, twister and just general wiggly one. dave commented baby b seemed hyper. and hopefully baby b's kicking of baby a's head won't give either of them a complex. so where the babies bum is thats where baby a's head is. kind of like they are spooning backwards. i'm sure they will be good friends.

new week

well dave is home and all is well. i have to keep reminding myself he is here to stay. we have had a nice weekend just relaxing and he has adjusted well.
as you can see in the sidebar i will begin a weekly (or maybe every two weeks) pic of my ever growing belly. dave was so surprised. he is facinated with touching it. today we will spy on the baby through our ultrasound. i am super excited to see the baby.
i will post more tommorow and hopefully can scan a few pics of the little bean.
till then.

3 more sleeps!!!

i can't belive it. 3 more sleeps and in 4 days i will be hugging dave. it feels like he has been gone forever! i fly back to vancouver tonight. i hate flying but today i am looking forward to getting on the plane.
things were good here at home it was great to see people. i even got to hang out with lisa last night and went for breakfast with her this morning which made the trip complete. i must say william gets cuter and cuter. hopefully she will send me a recent pic and i will post it all for you to see.
i am feeling the baby lots more lately its the most incredible feeling. i'm feeling good other than bad gas pains, bleeding gums and acid reflux.
time to get going. think of dave as he travels alone from perm to moscow on the 23 hour train ride and then waits 5+hours at the moscow airport. so soon he will be home!!!!!!
have a great day!

18 weeks

well at least its something. when i get home i will take a better belly shot but for those of you who are dying to see here is me and our little bean at almost 19 weeks.

miracles

well its snowing and so beautiful outside and i have good news. the midwives here in winkler have agreed to take me on. i still find myself speechless that they have decided to make room for me. its amazing. i never really let go but must admit that my hope was dwindling. i have not spoken with my primary yet but hope to this week. i have felt really good the last few weeks and only this week with the lack of activity (sitting at my parents house doing nothing and eating lots more than i am used to) i feel a bit gross. i need to get out and walk or something. i am looking forward to getting back to vancouver and routine and seeing dave. only 9 more days - actually only 8 more days cause on the 9th day i get to see him. it will be nice. hopefully he is not a little ice cube - where they are this week it has been about -45 degrees (now that is COLD).
its been neat to see my belly grow and the baby flutter around the acid reflux is not so much fun but tums seem to relieve that quickly lucky for me.
i can't wait to see the little bean on our ultrasound on the 30th i think we have agreed to find out the sex of the baby; its funny to hear people's reactions to that. here is advice from one pregnant momma to be to everyone. Its best to keep all opionions to yourself. now whether or not we tell everyone will be our secret - we will let you know.
time for supper. till next time.

coming home....

i made it home. it was a good trip and i got to spend the night at Lindseys house and hang out with her the next day which was so good!! she is doing really well as always its so fun to spend time with her. i've been home now for a couple days. its been lots of relaxing which has been so good. i needed the downtime. i have not seen too many people just family and my good friend rhonda which was nice. she is about ready to deliver her second baby which is exciting. i am hoping she has the baby while i am here. anything obviously not much else is new. i will post some new pics of me in my fourth month this weekend. oh and by the way it is warm here - almost balmy. when i got out of the airport the other day it was almost midnight at only -2 which is CRAZY. it is much nicer than what dave is having in russia at a mild -25. yikes.
till later.

the weekend, phone calls and other things...

i don't have a digital camera right now as dave took it to russia so it seems silly to post with no pics to show you but i figured i should post anyways. had an ok weekend other than not alot of sleep. can't seem to sleep these days. i cleaned, was crafty and hung out with friends which was nice. sunday morning i was woken up to the most beautiful voice and got to speak with dave for almost 20 minutes. it was so good to hear from him. they are well a bit on the cold side but doing good. its about -25 with windchill and most of the time they are skating on outdoor rinks. yikes. but they seem to be in high gear and attracting lots of people to hang out with. it was so good to hear his voice and i figured i could make it another week now without hearing from him but then this morning the phone rings and its him again!! i was so excited i barely knew what to say. it was nice to have those morning calls and i feel a bit spoiled.
i get ready to leave to manitoba tommorow and i am looking forward to being home and eating good home cooked meals, seeing friends and family and just relaxing. i get to see lindsey tommorow and will stay with her my first night there and hang out with her on wednesday i am really looking forward to seeing her. so yeah thats about it. i still need to pack and get some work things done before i leave but keeping busy helps pass the time. thanks for all your kind calls and emails it means alot. i will post again in manitoba and will have use of my parents digital pics so i can email you some more pics of my ever growing belly. enjoy today!

isn't he cute

looking up..

been a good couple of days. i have been keeping busy and have been trying to surround myself with people. its only hard in my lonely house. i heard from dave and they are doing well. they are currently on a 23 hour train ride through the beautiful land of russia. they spent yesterday walking around red square and dave said it was breathtaking. i'm excited that he gets to have this experience. just wanted to let you all know things are better. i miss him but i've already made it three days! i leave for manitoba on tuesday which will be nice to catch up with family and friends. i'll post more later. enjoy your day!

got my sad face on...

so dave has left and is sleeping right now somewhere in Russia...its lonley in our house without him. i figure its ok to be sad and all the well wishers who keep telling me oh but hes doing good work need to stop.. of course i am happy he is doing good work and of course out of anyone in the whole world i am proudest of him and happy he gets this experience but for goodness sake i am still going to be sad and all you have to say is thats ok heather you can be sad because you love him and miss him.
so with all that being said.. i am proud of him and i know that the people of russia and the team are super lucky to have dave with them but i am still going to hope the time goes by quickly.

i love.....

you know what i love about maternity pants.. you can just pull them on and off. no zippers, no buttons. its genious.

merry christmas and other things

well the tree is almost put away (its dead) and the presents are unwrapped. it was a good christmas. given my condition leading up to it i didn't get into the season as much as usual so things were low key. we had 14 people over for a lovely fondue on christmas eve (which is a loewen family tradition) it was great we had 6 different nationalities represented, lots of fruit and loads of chocolate (linds you would have loved it).
These pictures were from Christmas Eve.







Christmas Day was nice. Dave & I made a delicious breakfast of Eggs Benedict and we just hung out. Opened some gifts and spend the morning in our pj's. We went over to the Pallisters for Christmas Dinner. The food was amazing. Wade spent a few days preparing a churducken which is a Chicken stuffed into a Duck which is then stuffed inside a Turkey. With each layer surrounded by yummy, yummy stuffing. Need I say more?
This is Audrey and me ready to eat!!
DTS ended the thursday before the holidays and with that comes some nice downtime for Dave before he leaves for Russia in only a few short days :( We took a staff picture which turned out funny. And also ode to red. The other picture is Dave's outreach team which will be gracing Russia soon! I love the red track suits. It is what they will wear when they are coaching hockey (teaching skills and stuff). I love it!! I think that is all the update I have for now. Just want to give a birthday shout out to Lindsey. Today is her special day and she has much to celebrate as she also celebrates getting into the midwivery school she applied for. Yeah! I am proud of you Lindsey and love how you are following your dreams. You are special! Pregnancy Update: I have felt like a normal human being for the last four days and am so thankful. It helped to enjoy the holidays! The baby is moving up higher and my stomach feels like a little hard stone. Beautiful thing.

13 weeks!!

well here you go. 13 weeks! not to much there just enough to fit my nectarine size baby. me and some friends decided we like how they compare your baby to food at least until a certain point until they run out of ideas. i've been feeling a bit better which has been nice. dave and i did some christmas shopping this weekend which was good. audrey, pam, rita and i watched a great movie this weekend called "there eyes were watching god" its a oprah movie and although a tad slow it was great.
i also saw Narnia last week which was so good. they did a real good job at following the book. it was inspiring. you should all go see it. i gotta get some work done. i will post more later. have a great day!

MIRACLES!

life is a beautiful thing. today dave & I went to see our midwives and we got to hear our babies heartbeat (not plural baby)! what an amazing thing. the midwife showed me where the baby is and i felt the little ridge where he/she lives. the midwife smiled when the heartbeat came on the monitor and said "sounds like a girl!" heehee. i guess girls have faster heartbeats. we shall see. anyways it was all so exciting i wanted to share it with you! i'm gonna post some pics of my belly soon for those of you far away. just perfectly fits my lemon size baby!

my pants are tight

its so wierd to encounter a time when its neat that your pants don't fit right. i mean come on theres a baby growing in there. i have some generous friends/family that have lent me some nice maternity clothes - which is nice to save me from the moomoo that i was terrified of having to wear. other than my belly and my boobs nothing else has changed yet so thats nice.
its been a pretty good week. sunday was horrible! i was sick all day and i didn't keep anyting down all day until 8:30 when a smoothie managed to stay. ugg. i am excited to enter this next trimester and i realize that this time will fly by. having Dave gone for the month of January is going to be so hard and I am hoping to get home (plane tickets are expensive). i figure my lonliness will be a bit less if i go home then having to stay in our house and sleep in our bed. ahh lonely. anyways we were talking last night and wondering how much my belly will change in those 4 weeks he is gone.
so the quest to find a midwife is on. i have been pestering the midwives in the winkler area and am on a wait list which is so frusterating. but at the same time inspiring because it means that people are catching on to the miracle of midwifery. anyways called a lay midwive as well who is not paid by the Regionaly Health Authority (if you are reading this and are from BC - the system in MB is horrible compared to here and count yourself a lucky duck if you deliver here) anyways but she is unsure if she is taking on clients in June but she said to contact her again in March to see. I'd have to pay her but the cost is quite worth it to me. So crossing fingers for all these options. Not sure of any others that I have. I love my midwives here and wish they could fly to Manitoba to deliver the baby. Anyways enough baby talk. Not much else going on.
I apologize for the lack of posting. Enjoy your day!

graceful

its been a good week. it seems i am only super sick on sundays, mondays and tuesdays. wierd.
yesterday we celebrated american thanksgiving which was so good. its nice being married to a half american. i love americans - yesterday we went around the table and the non americans shared what the loved about americans. to me they carry a sense of boldness and a lack of fear. they aren't afraid to shake things up. my american friends are all fierce and funny. so to all of you. cheers.
i have been trying to journal to the baby you know things that i am experiencing as the baby grows and most of it comes down to what i can and cannot eat. yesterday i found out something wacky. i love yams i mean love yams.. mashed, sushi style, boiled, drenched in brown suger and butter. but the baby no the baby does not like yams even as i gazed upon them last night it did not take me long to know the baby would not like them. and peanut butter come on, the baby also likes things cold. not a big fan of hot food. i know it sounds crazy. but vegtables need to be raw unless its corn and i'd rather do yogurt than anything hot. and pineapple i can't get enough - fresh pinapple. ooh and another gross one: cheezy breathe - after dave eats goldfish (the cracker). yuck.
anyways i think thats all..
so i want to bring up the question of the day.
when does pregnancy begin to be graceful?