enough about me...

lets talk about them. so my little guys are over 14months old. when people told me time would fly by i would think to myself i wish they would quit saying that. well ok i give in. its true. although each stage sure presents its own challenges. there have been big changes over the last little while as my guys are on there way to walking.. ari is already taking many steps on his own and noah is not far behind. its amazing to watch them gather up the courage to let go and do the little bounce there and then voila they take a step and another...
they have teeth the size of small animals seriously huge teeth. they decided to work on the side teeth before getting there front teeth.. the tooth count stands at ari: 3 (working on at least 2 more) and noah: 4 (working on at least one). seems like just yesterday they had none.. oh wait it was. teething with two is torture. its been really hard all around. trying to comfort and give them each what they need at the same time. some days i just feel so stretched and feel i don't have enough for both of them.
the onset of huge teething problems also contributes to our horrible sleep schedule.. ha who am i kidding there is no schedule. sleep sucks we'll just leave it at that. i finally got my doctor to prescribe medication for reflux which we are hoping will help the poor sleep habits and all over restlessness. seriously having to get up numerous times a night to burp a 14month old.. especially when they last time they drank was over 5-6 hours ago. give me a break. so hopefully that will help.
other than that there is lots of mischief... they get into everything, hate to be confined to the living room, enjoy the kitchen and exploring other rooms, have learned to tolerate and play on grass, love to get dirty and are enjoying there outside pool. they chatter more and more and there signs are pretty bang on although they do the sign for eat at least every hour...
there bed time is hit or miss these days and bedtime often turns into a game of lay down, get up, lay down, get up and laugh and laugh. yea real funny.
all in all life is just a series of ups and downs.. i am learning to embrace the good the bad and the horrible and just resign to the fact that it is all a part of the journey. instead of striving for near perfection to remember the bad days are just part of the series of days and i may as well enjoy them or go nuts... and although most days i feel on the edge of going nuts i am remembering to laugh in the process.

highlights as promised

from left to right: audge & noah, lindsey & me, audrey & me, audrey & noah, audrey & ari, your beverage of choice....

what a week

we had a great week.. our dear friend audrey was here to visit from texas and i was spoiled by her company. the boys took a bit to warm up to her (which is the case these days). we had a great time in spite of the weather around these parts like seriously 50degrees it was horrid. my poor husband worked up on roofs all those days. i have to admit after today i am having a hard time writing this post as there are so many great things to share but today has been a big pile of crap again. i am tired and worn out, my house is a mess, my kids are working on teeth the size of dinosaurs, they won't nap and all they want to do is whine and cry. its wearing me down quickly. i just feel pitiful and all i want to do is eat....
anyways other than audrey we were also visited by more people that came out of our vancouver life.. craig and jamie passed through and lindsey came down from winnipeg. it was one of the best times i have had in awhile and like they say you can take the kids out of vancouver but you can't take vancouver out of the kids.. ok you had to be there...i will upload pics tonite from our time and of course pass on a little montage later.
seriously i might take the infant stage over the one we are in lately... ok maybe not but almost.

just to keep you coming back...

this had us busy this week. thank god for good friends. more to come.

the things bill will say...

so last night we were hanging out with friends and we had our kids over at the vbergs playing with Jesse & William... William is hanging out watching Ari press all the buttons on the vcr and says

"hey where's the other Ari?"
priceless.

a getaway...

its funny.. all this week i have wanted to sit down and tell you about my week... it went by well... better than most of the ones before it. we seemed to have settled into a good routine (which now that i wrote that will probably be shattered but whatever) even though the boys are working on huge amounts of teeth - last count was 5 at once, they have been good for the most part. while i was sure there morning nap was done they have consistently wanted to sleep twice during the day and it has actually made there sleep a bit better at night. so we are back to 2 naps during the day which suits me just fine. if it makes them happy then it makes mama happy. my week was busy - i worked two nights this past week and also got to visit with an old friend from high school which was a highlight.. you know when you haven't seem someone for so long and you are afraid it will be awkward.. yea this wasn't at all.. it was just like old times except our lives have drastically changed but it was great to catch up and see her.
on friday i embarked on a little roadtrip with a good friend to attend a wedding in kenora. the wedding was beautiful.. we got on boats which took us to an island for a beach wedding. the day was hot and aside from my fear of my butt sticking to the chair it was gorgous.i was drawn to the two little flower girls who were so adorable...

after the wedding we headed back to the mainland and enjoyed the reception. we were sat with some really fun people and ate great food and enjoyed an open bar.... they even had a make your own martini bar which i enjoyed a rather sweet blue/red combo. i will leave you with some of my fave pics from the weekend.. which by the way ended with a quiet hotel stay where we fell asleep watching tv... i never do that! it was a great getaway and those kinds of things just kind of recharge you and give you a new outlook on things. we all need to do that every once in awhile.

i will be back soon with what its like to live with 14 month old twins.. happy month-birthday to ari & noah!

stay with me..

so much to blog about so little time. check back tomorrow.. its coming.

i'm in print...

Birthing Dilemma
This is a great article written by Jen Skerrit of the Winnipeg Free Press. She writes about the flaw in our Manitoba Health Care System in regards to Midwives.. Our province is brutal in this regards. Allowing only 27 midwives for the whole province and with more and more families wanting their services there are so many being turned away. Its a shame really that more families are not receiving the care that midwifes bring.. I remember my postpartum visits coming to an end after the 6 weeks and it felt like real loss.. having to say good-bye to someone who really cared for me and helped me walk through my birth experience... such a special time. Anyways this online version is not the whole thing so if you live in the province go pick up a copy today.. its an amazing three page spread including a blurb on Doula's as well...

This article comes hot on the heels of the Spring issue of The Birth Vine.. a publication put out by Manitoba Association for Childbirth and Family Education.. this issue was appropriately titled 'Celebrating Midwives'.. I submitted this for the issue:

My thoughts on Midwifery are passionate. My birth was nothing like I planned and I had many expectations. I called the local Midwife office the moment I found out I was expecting at 5 weeks. I was turned away as they were already too full for that month. With only 3 of them and one about to go on Maternity leave they could only do so much. The region they serve is big and although they have big hearts and so much experience there is only so many women they can take a month. As a Doula I knew that I had to have a midwife. I persisted and persisted and finally they accepted to take me. I was more than grateful. We only had phone conversations at the time as I was living outside the province and would only be here three months before my due date. They were so consistent, reassuring and comfortable. I found out I was expecting twins at 21 weeks and many different emotions and feelings come along with that.. I knew the birth I so desired was gone and I would have to face many more obstacles. We met our Midwife and instantly I fell in love with her. She was warm, caring and so inviting. Her knowledge and her patience to sit and listen to all my questions really overwhelmed me at times. With the expectation of multiples we discussed that she would have to share care with an obstetrician and we hooked up with one who would deliver my babies in the city. Although this was another hard reality to accept, knowing that she was still walking me through the process really helped. I was admitted to the hospital unexpectedly by my doctor at almost 36 weeks and ordered to stay. There are many times I have been blessed by caring people but the experience I had with my midwife goes above and beyond. She came to the hospital to help my husband and I with a belly cast. She helped me come to terms with what was happening around me and the possibility that I would be having a c section. When they did decide a few days later to go ahead with the c section due to the breech position of my babies, she was there. She walked me to the OR and sat with me as they prepped me. She was there at my head talking me through the surgery, she also acted as pro photographer during the surgery. When the babies were born and my husband went to the NICU with them my midwife stayed by my side the whole time. Reassuring words, comforting touch and a calm presence. She sat with me through recovery and helped me understand the things that were happening with my babies. She visited many times during our 4 week hospital stay and then came to my house once we were home. I don't have all the words to describe the emotion and feelings that my midwife evokes in me. She was indispensable. The calm in my storm and the light at the end of the tunnel. We are grateful that she took her time to invest in us when as a midwife she is stretched. Its a shame that more women can't have the exceptional care that midwives provide.. Its been 9 months now and I feel I would be still hurting and disappointed with the outcome of my birth if only her calm voice didn't run through my head some times as she gently reminded me to grieve the loss of my expectations. I learned so much from her as a woman, a mother and a Doula. I have two healthy babies now and I am a healthier mom thanks in part to her. Thanks Marla!

a new day has come...

if you can tell me which song that title comes from you win... well not really win because i don't have any prizes but you know...
anyways i am encouraged today.. woke up and had a few minutes to remind myself how blessed i am and also remind myself i can choose joy today..
my spirits were lifted yesterday as i went to MSS to scrap last night. it was a really good time - i just love doing it and hanging out with great people in the process... so off to face the day all the while choosing to enjoy my kids today and not worry about all the other stuff...

lets be real..

so i am having a real crisis... its actually many mini crisis's all at once. first up my blog. feel its blah and boring and i never have anything real to write about. also feel no one reads it anymore and if you do you are probably bored.
my role as a mom lately has been a crisis point for me. PLEASE PLEASE don't humor me with lame cliches about doing the best i can and sure you are a good mom.. this is not up for debate just telling it how it is these days. i always thought all i wanted to do was be a mom and lately its been harder to remember why.. i am always short on patience, i tire easily and entertaining and keeping two happy is getting really hard. throw in teething and colds and AHHHHH its all i can do to throw momma off a train. next crisis follows this one hot on its heels is GUILT.. how can one person feel so much guilt over everything.. like the guilt i feel now that i wrote all that down and how i should just be thankful and suck it all up and pretend like everyone else that life and motherhood are easy and why doesn't it just conjor up warm fuzzy feelings all the time like it does for EVERYONE else but me. why is it next to impossible to just give my kids a bath during the day like everyone else.. oh thats right i have two and trying to keep two wiggling babies from drowning is HARD work.
i'm sure there are many more things like my discontentment with the lack of cleanliness in my house, my less than mediocre performance as a wife, my ever growing sadness for friendship that runs DEEP.. and last but not least my crisis over whether or not i will hit publish..

parties amoungst other things...

its tuesday already or is it only tuesday... my thoughts exactly. the weekend has come and gone and it felt like a long weekend which is a positive... after our ridiculous afternoon on saturday we redeemed it by having rollkuchen, farmer sausage and watermelon (a good mennonite fave) at my parents house which made me feel warm and fuzzy.. it basically is like eating summer...
on sunday we decided to be spontaneous (something we rarely ever do) and we packed up and headed to winnipeg to have a picnic and walk around assinaboine park.. it was a good day! the weather was perfect and the boys did really well.. we even got to see Lori (she did her dts with vancouver while we were there) after the park we headed home because we had some partying to do with the vbergs. jesse celebrated his first birthday in all out style. a perfect day for a perfect party. lisa outdid herself and the we all had so much fun.... for those of you who know me well you may remember i am not big on dirty... it kills dave how clean i keep the boys and how crazy it makes me when they are dirty.. well i was inspired to give it a go and let the boys get as dirty as they wanted at the party - we were outside among pavement, stones, sidewalk chalk, cake and dirt.... they were disgustingly happy and it made me happy too... plus the bath after felt much more rewarding to watch it all disappear.... it was a GOOD day!

***warning - blanket statments being made

**updated and rewritten
usually mennonites and more precisely the good people of southern manitoba are kind, generous, laid back and quite easy going. good people to be around.. today that was not my experience and well i am not even sure where to start... should i start by saying mennonites are selfish, mennonites don't make good lines, winkler is not good at throwing a big event or start by saying at least we got to see Stanley (kind of)...
dustin penner and his white limo cruised into winkler today bringing the stanley cup: let me preface my rant by saying this was so generous of him and i totally appreciate the fact that he was willing to share his 24 hours with all of us. well done dustin and thanks....
but... our experience is a bad one and having been to big events before in bigger cities i must say winkler needs some help. those of us who stood in line for a few hours ahead of time were pushed aside as greedy people some of who have probably never even heard of hockey pushed there way passed us, over and under lame rope that was meant to hold the masses. there we were in what was probably +50degree heat waiting and waiting... the ceremony was long and too many people talked for too long.. it was nice he got plaques and keys to the city and even his high school jersey retired - i'm happy for him. then the chaos ensued and those ropes meant nothing. there were some parents trying to tell there poor kids who had waited hours that it was wrong to go under the ropes and cut in (unlike the other half of the parents who were pushing there kids over other kids just to get closer). and it just kept getting hotter. dustin left (poor guy was so hot in his huge jersey) and the picture taking kept going although it seemed we kept getting further and futher from the front of the line we had waited so patiently in.. needless to say keeping two one year olds who are up from naps and hotter than hell happy was not working and we sadly gave in after waiting so long and went home. we did get these two shots of the boys "with the cup"... thanks stanley for the memories as for the people in our small town who pushed there way past everyone else - shame on you. and for the organizers of the event - yea better luck next time. geez.

introducing...

So steph at Adventures in Babywearing has another contest up and i would write about this even if there weren't a chance of winning (which i probably won't anyways) this carrier looks amazing! so introducing the Podonbutai. The Podonbutai is named accordingly: pod for podeagi, onbu for onbuhumo, and tai for mai tai! (all traditional baby carriers) Go check out Adventures in Babywearing for a great review. And while your at it go check out All Natural Mommies for really great stuff. Thanks Steph!

when will it end

i was convinced all my life all i ever wanted to do was be a mom... now i am not so sure.. days seem to get harder and harder than life will throw you a few good days just enough so you can start to convince yourself you can deal and then BANG more hard days... it seems endless..
both boys are getting teeth which doesn't help and both now have bad summer colds which makes the congestion and runny noses difficult to allow sleep... and you know what just to top it off there is TWO of them... when one is screaming after waking up after only a 20 minute nap it wakes the other one up who would have been peacefully in dream land but nope now you have TWO screaming kids who are so painfully tired and covered in snot.... when will it end?

chaotic creativity...

following hot on the heels of my last post about creativity i was humbled to receive a gift from friends via email. they have been behind me for a few years now the kind of people you want on your side cheering you on through life... anyways they blessed me with something unique and thoughtful and something that speaks to the centre of my soul... a beautiful book by Kim McMechan as well as a one hour session with kim on the phone. she has become a personal creative life coach and her target are busy moms and artists and she desires to help them discover how to find more time for what they value and ache for so we can have a more sane, productive and balanced creative life.
i have been a huge fan of kim's since hearing her sing at a worship event at the winnipeg centre vineyard since then she has put on some records of her own and begun to teach writing workshops. she also writes candidly on her blog.. go check her out HERE.
this weekend was very creative. MSS had an online crop and i got a few layouts done.. you can check out my scrapbooking gallery above for some of them.
looking forward to one more day of dave being home. i love long weekends and short weeks. not much planned for this week.. july is going to busy with lots of visitors which i am so looking forward to.. i think a day in winnipeg is also in order soon.. i can't wait to see lindsey who arrived back in the peg last week...
i also realized i have forgotten to share another new thing going on in my life.... i have taken up a part time job - only a couple days a week... (evenings).. back at Mulligans (former Golf Course Restaurant) Its been fun to just have something totally different to do and make a little extra cash on the side. It works well because I go to work after Dave comes home or on the weekends. I think he likes the time with the boys as well.. I think that's all I have for now. I will write again next week... The offer on the Mei Tai is still available... You won't regret it. Let me know if you want more info.. The post further down was updated with more pics of me actually using it with the boys. (made me almost change my mind but i really want an ergo)