I am deeply impacted by books, music & movies.. the emotional part of me either can get lost in the romance, unpredictability, adventure and movement and the part of me that doesn't want to conform rises up and loves something to stand for.
Today I saw Insurgent - I loved the books and loved the first movie and could not wait for the second. I was having a hard time remembering the book and went into this one forgetting a lot.. I'm going to go deep here but God really spoke to me through this movie.. more than I even realized.. as I drove home I burst into tears.. If you have not seen it I am not going to necessarily spoil it for you but my perspective correlates to the end of the move.
Tris struggles in this movie over what has happened to those she loves - she blames herself for not being able to protect them and she feels everyone who comes in contact with her will get hurt... She is unable to forgive herself and let go... I have been praying into the tendency I have in my life to self sabotage. It causes me to feel unworthy, unloved, misunderstood and lets doubt creep in.. like my beautiful friend Crystal says you gotta BENCH those thoughts.. don't even let them suit up. They can't play..
ok so near the end Tris has to conquer a simulator and she has to fight herself... and in order to win the sim she learns she actually has to put her fists down and forgive herself.. let go and the self who is facing her and wants to destroy her.. can't. It has no power.. And in all love and beauty of the movie this realization not only sets her free but it allows the factions to learn the truth that they were all an experiment and there is so much more for them beyond the wall than they ever realized.. they are free...
of course in true movie fashion the music and the people streaming out of the buildings it all evokes emotion in me.. but as I sat there wanting to see SO badly what was on the other side of the wall I thought.. she had to let it go, forgive herself and be free. And then guys they are just all rushing towards the wall cause they all want whats over there.. just keep going!!
Passion evokes purpose. This has never been more true than in this season of my life. I am passionate and have more purpose than ever before but it's in these times that we have to suit up and realize the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy. Being brave is being free. What an incredible opportunity we have.
I plan to be a world changer. I plan to move forward. I also plan to remember my worth and who I am. Take captive every thought and be FREE. SO much more is coming. SO much more.