(can't find the source now.. sorry)
having a hard time describing to myself how i feel... wonder if it will make sense to put it down here? i've been on a journey and it's been good... hard but good. my heart is lighter and more free than it's been in years.
i'm not as hard on myself.
but then there are days like today where i feel down. low. it's not anything that's really "happened" to me but just more a sense of where i want to be... some days the process feels so slow. so gentle.
after spending some time with the big guy i always feel lighter. but today i just want more. maybe the dissatisfaction is a gift.
to be honest my disappointment started with a silly thing.. I pitched an idea to Dave and he shot it down.. using his no fail reason.. money. he always goes there. i mean deep down in most situations i do appreciate it.. but it really wasn't that much money and the end result was a special day of fun for the boys... anyways i find disappointments like that fester inside me... today i am choosing to send it packing. no festering. just get over it.
we had a great family weekend away... it was far from perfect and people didn't seem to have as much fun as usual but the boys loved swimming and they had a blast. my heart wasn't in shopping which was kind of a bummer but i did manage to find a couple great deals.
it was just nice to get away...
really struggling with Jett this week.. sleeping is an issue. at night and for naps. we were doing well, then it sucked again, then it got a bit better and now it's down the crapshoot. ugh. so tired of being tired. so with all that complaining just here to say i am a work in progress and in regards to us over here at casa difran i'll cling to this little mantra...